Sometimes, I get lost in your thoughts while the world around me continues doing their own thing...end up simply staring into space, thinking about where you are and who you are...I smile at nothing visible but at the thoughts of finding you and falling in love...I feel pretty stupid but I just can't help those times when I get stuck in your mysterious trance...&& then, there are those times- those moments...where out of no where...I feel as if you're getting closer and closer to me...I feel as if you're thinking about me...&& I finally get that assuring feeling of knowing that your trance isn't a lie, it's for real...Jaan, find me during this season of love && make me all yours, because I'm ready to fall in love- all into your arms.
LIke it?!...Just written by a 14 yr old =]
2007-01-15 14:06:21 · 13 answers · asked by Lina 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
For a first time writer it is okay, but it needs to be simplified a bit. There are too many words, and I get lost in your thoughts does not really sound inviting. Work on it a little, you have skills.
This is my version of your great poem.
Sometimes I get lost in thought, while the world around me continues to do the usual things.
I stare into space, thinking about where you are, and who you are with.
For only one reason, I smile a big smile. This is because the thoughts of finding you and falling in love with you, are so great.
I feel pretty stupid that people are staring at me, while I'm in this mysterious trance.
There are moments when I can feel you getting closer and closer, that my heart skips a beat.
Are you thinking of me?
Deep inside I get a feeling of contentment, this feeling is assuring, because I know your love is real.
Jaan, please find me now, and make me yours.
Because i'm ready to fall in love, and into your arms.
I hope you liked my tribute to your poem.
2007-01-15 14:29:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like it was written by a 14 yr old...a bit to sappy for my liking
2007-01-15 22:09:47 · answer #2 · answered by charmel5496 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Grow up
2007-01-15 22:10:13 · answer #3 · answered by tko43078 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with charmel54...bit sappy/cheesy. but pretty good
2007-01-15 22:10:38 · answer #4 · answered by shiny and late 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes very good
2007-01-15 22:09:19 · answer #5 · answered by jody n 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that was deep
2007-01-15 22:10:29 · answer #6 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya i agree, it is a bit cheesy. its pretty deep though.
2007-01-15 22:19:11 · answer #7 · answered by Niki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good for you. I like it.
2007-01-15 22:10:19 · answer #8 · answered by glasgow girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be concentrating on your studies!
2007-01-15 22:09:30 · answer #9 · answered by Robert B 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your mother or dad should monitor your net time!!!
2007-01-15 22:11:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋