i want to be very supportive but i think my mom should know what should i do?
2007-01-15 13:52:35 · 21 answers · asked by godsgirl 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
this is an advice from a mother who has a gay child who was in the same position as your brother..... please listen to me! this is very important as you can destroy a lot of lives here....so i am going to be a little rough and tough with you, ok?
why would you tell your mom? you make it sound as if he is doing something wrong and you are going to tell your mom on him! it seems you are judging him. the way you sound is as if he is doing drugs or committed a robbery or something like that.
what is wrong with you!!!! what do you mean being supportive but you want to tell your mom...... what do you mean by supportive, then.
he has not done anything wrong and you should have a healthier attitude and more love for your brother than that....and not be judgemental.....after all, you have known your brother probably all your life. does he being gay change the person he is or the love you have for one another?
would you like it if he told your mom that you had sex with someone or that you think you are pregnant? i bet not! it is the same thing....it is a very private matter and personal matter.
let him be. when the right time comes, he will tell her....or maybe he will never tell her ...whatever he decides is his perogative.
2007-01-15 14:33:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you want to be supportive, then keep your mouth shut.
Did your brother ask you to tell your mom? He probably told you or maybe you found out, but it is totally up to him to tell your mother or anyone else for that matter. I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate reading it on here either.
Think of how you would feel. Some people cannot accept this kind of news, do not take a chance on ruining his life or relationship with your mom. Let him do it in his own way and in his own time. That is the best thing you can do for him to be supportive. Just love him, he is still your brother, so what if his life style is different.
2007-01-15 14:05:37 · answer #2 · answered by ladyw0llf 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have been told the correct answer enough so I won't jump on the wagon.
How did you find out your brother is gay? Did he tell you or did somebody else tell you? If you found out from somebody else, I would ask him if he is gay, and if he came out too you then you need to be supportive of your brother.
If you want to be supportive of your brother, then tell your brother that you will be there with him when he decides it is the right time to come out to your mom. Tell him that he is still your brother no matter what and him being gay doesn't change anything between you two.
That is the best support any brother, sister, or friend could get especially when they are coming out of the closet.
2007-01-15 14:16:43 · answer #3 · answered by Joel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When should you tell her!
It is not your place or your business to tell your mother or to out your brother!
Who do you think you are and don't for one minute think that it wont backfire on you and they will want to "kill the messenger"!
You have no right or business outing your brother and why must you hurt your mother so by being a tattle tail!
Mind your own business and be decent and supportive when you have to like when your brother decides its time to talk to those he loves about who he is!
2007-01-15 14:06:57 · answer #4 · answered by Crampy Grampy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is NOT your place to tell her. People come to terms with their sexuality in their own time and when he is ready for her to know, he will tell her. The best way you can be supportive is by letting him know that when he's ready to tell her, you will be right by his side and ready to stand up for him.
I understand that you probably don't want to lie to your mom. However, this is a sensitive area and you're only going to cause problems if you get in the middle of it. Leaving this up to him is not lying to your mother. If she has her own suspicions, and asks you if you know anything, simply tell her that she needs to discuss this with him.
2007-01-15 14:01:55 · answer #5 · answered by ♦Hollywood's Finest♦ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't- its not your place to tell his secrets. However, you can encourage your mother to stay involved in his life- so that he is getting the picture that she wants to be involved and wants to know what's going on in his life.
And simply getting them to spend time together, just strengthening their bond can help to goose those admissions, and get those things said that need to be said.
And honestly- your mom probably already knows. Mothers usually know these things. Whether she admits it or not- just foster their bond- and hope for the best. But don't overstep your bounds.
He could be experimenting, and doesn't' know the answer for himself- much less the answer he wants everyone to know.
2007-01-15 14:08:14 · answer #6 · answered by Doug M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why is your brothers identity or sexual orientation any of your mother's business? when people aske me, "should i come out to my family" I always ask them to assess safety first. not just physical safety, but one's own emotional safety. I am the director of a gender education community, as well as the co-director of an intersex education community. One thing I find over and over again is that, often, the reason keep things to themselves about their identity, or other personal aspects of their life, is fear of scrutiny and rejection, even retaliation. whether or not your mother is violent or not, your brother's emotional health, and possibly physical health could be in danger (if he becomes suicidal or if your mom tells someone who tells someone who decides that your brothers should suffer physically) etc.
please, your brother should be the only one who makes the choices about who to share information about himself with.
2007-01-15 18:15:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not your place to tell. Your brother has the right to tell your mom when he is good and ready.
2007-01-15 15:15:57 · answer #8 · answered by Hmmm... 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
did bro tell you, did you find out, or guess
not kewl to spill the beans, when it is not ur life.....he is part of your life....but it is his life
why does mom need to know.......know at this time.
the only person you should discuss this with is bro...tell him you think he should tell mom.....THEN let him decided....
he might still be finding himself.....unlike straights who have role models with parents and in the community....gays have to usually find their self...on their own......their is no gay big brother....once he finds someone....he will become more his gay self...cause he will want to share BF with family
so be kewl.....be supportive...but please let him decide when its time to tell mom.........his life
2007-01-15 21:11:14 · answer #9 · answered by Jonathan L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell her anything. It's up to your brother to approach your parents when he thinks the time is right. If you really, really, really think it's important for your mother to know, talk to your brother about telling her.
2007-01-15 13:57:25 · answer #10 · answered by E_Tard 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋