If your partner cheated, would you automatically leave them?

Question

If your husband or wife cheated on you, would you automatically leave them? Or would you be prepared to stay and try to work it out?

I am talking about having a full-on, ongoing affair, not just a random dirty text or something like that.

Are there any circumstances that might make your response different? For example, would your response be different if you were just in a long-term relationship as opposed to married? Would it make a difference if they admitted to it, rather than you finding out some other way?

BTW, my partner is not cheating on me. This is just a poll. Just curious to know what people's different answers might be.

Answer 1

I was 7 months pregnant and he slept with someone, his dad had just died and he was in a mess, he told me the day after. I forgave him, but if I weren't pregnant I don't know if I would of been the same. I needed him I guess. I think if it's a long term affair then definitely dump the swine! If he can lie about all of that then he can lie about anything. He's doing it just for sex and kicks and I wouldn't wanna be with a man as shallow as that!

Answer 2

Yes, you must always leave, regardless of the situation. There are no exclusions or circumstances which can justify betraying someone. "Once a cheat, always a cheat" I personally have learned this one the hard way. Even if the person admits it, the relationship is never the same, no matter how much you try to work it out you will always reflect back to it because it will always fester in the back of your head. In my case, I was with a girl who always went out with her friends (all males), would get drunk and play her favorite game "Oops, my pants fell off...." Life's too short, and your only on this rock once, so why waste your time on someone who "temporary" forgot how much you mean to them....

Answer 3

I really feel lead to tell you my story and I have been married for four years just this past december. But before I met my husband, I was in a baaaaad relationship this guy was the father of my first child, my son and his dad was a cheating on me the entire time we were together now I couldn't trust him but I loved him too much to leave him so I stayed... BIGGEST mistake of my life!!! When he had finally given his life to Christ I didn't realize it but I still couldn't trust him so I couldn't resist his friend I was young and naive and didn't know what else to do so I got rid of him just so I could go out with a guy that he knew I didn't want it to be that way but he was very cute so I couldn't resist, little did I know that he was also a gigolo and to make a long story short I ended up getting back with my son's dad because I had gotten rid of him so I could get with the other guy and the other guy got very very jealous and he killed my son's dad and I wish I had just left them both alone so I said all that to say it aint worth there is someone out here that can be faithful to you I found the one that is faithful to me for a fact so I know there are men out here who can be faithful and because of the situation I was in it made me have ZERO tolerance for cheating PERIOD you hear on the news all the time that people are killing their wives and husbands and children over this type of stuff and it just aint worth it you should find a good guy maybe who fears the Lord and go forward with your life, live, love ,and learn

Answer 4

Providing I was 100% sure then absolutely, no doubt about it - I do not take cheating lightly. My brother-in-law cheated on his wife about 4 years ago with 5 women in the space of a year, while his wife was pregnant with their first child too. They split up for a year when the wee one was about 8 months, he came clean! They got back together, renewed their vows and I still hate him for what he did to her, I saw how much hurt she went through. I know it's none of my beeswax what s/he do in their marriage, but I hate cheaters with a passion and I cannot bring myself to speak to him. So I would definitely leave my partner regardless of what 'type' of affair. I am a firm believer of, if you don't want to be with someone then you should leave them to be with someone else not do anything behind their back. It's dishonest and cruel. Hurting people's feelings intentionally is not my thing!

Goodness, I don't half ramble, lol.

Answer 5

My partner cheated on me last year. A woman he met while he was working. He had sex with her three times in six months, plus the oral, God knows how many times that happened. I hated him for it. I never did anything even remotely like it. I wasn't being a bad person, or giving him less attention, and I had not stopped having sex with him. I was feeling very badly, having panic attacks, and going to group therapy when he started the affair.

One of the reasons why I forgave him was because he didn't understand that I was really sick. He thought I was simply being bratty, and that I could control whatever it was that was happening to me. Another reason why I forgave him was because he told me that he was willing to go to therapy with me after I found out what he had done, because he said he thought he needed it, too. Another reason was that he left her before I found out, not when I did. It means he finally figured out that he was doing it very wrong. He wasn't in love with her. I just think he was mad at me because I was sick. That wasn't my fault, either, but... I can't blame him for not understanding. The last reason why I forgave him was because he knew that I would leave him if I found out, and was never expecting that I take him back at all when I did find out. All he did was cry and ask me to forgive him.

If he would have still been with her when I found out, I would have left him. We aren't married now, so I guess my response would have been the same if we were married. I would not for any reason give him another chance. His first try at being loyal he failed it, and he is attempting his second try. He will not have a third. I found out because she called me, but I knew he had wanted to tell me the truth. He had tried a couple of times, but the words never came out of him. I don't know if the reaction would have been better if he had told me. I guess yes, although I still would have been very unhappy with what he did. But his admitting it before that woman called me would have saved me the embarassment.

Answer 6

yes i would leave him. For one, if it gets to the point that he feels he needs to cheat then there is something more wrong with the relationship. Two, cheating just makes things worse, for one you lose trust and its hard to trust again knowing that happened and always wondering if it has happened again. I was married and i cheated on my ex...and we divorced..it was a bad situation. I am with somebody now who ive never cheated on and will not cheat on. I would rather work the issue out with him first before resorting to cheating.

Answer 7

what i belive things doesnt stay as same when u find it out
the better way is to keep it secret because its human nature who ever get a chance they dont miss!
so lets make it simple if you have done it in past dont minsion it to ur partner if you are involve then better leave it if you cant go away from that then keep it secret cause it wont be the same as it is now because every thing has the price and if you are ready to pay the price then admit it and good luck~!

Answer 8

I can forgive mistakes one off's within reason, if they were decent enough people and didn't know they were with my girlfriend. But if they were some douche bag who knew didn't care had a wife and kids then they would be an ex automatically.

Answer 9

No I would not.... First i would be very hurt and upset and crying alot but i would talk to my spouse and see if they would want to work on the marriage or not and if the affair has ended or is still going on... I would try marriage counseling if my spouse was sorry and wanted to change and to work on the marriage but at the same time if he wanted to be with the other person and no longer wanted the marriage i would let him go yes.

Answer 10

It looks cut and dry from the outside. But from inside the relationship, all is seen in a different way. I say it depends on the situation, the partner, your relationship, the partner's remorse and willingness to work towards repairing your relationship.