Am I the only one who thinks calling a gay man "flaming" is a compliment?

Question

Seriously, I've known a lot of gay men, and I LOVE gay men who fall under the label "flaming." They are often a blast to chat with. I've never known a gay man to take it as an insult. But I know a lot of straight people who think I am being insulting.

Am I missing something?

Answer 1

I think it depends on the context - sometimes it's used as an insult, to call a man effeminate. And that's an insult because he's somehow 'womanly' or 'girlish', and that's seen by some as negative. This is all rooted within sexism, because insulting a man is as easy as calling him a woman.

However, gay men and lesbians have started to reclaim words that have previously been used as insults (queer, dyke, fag, flaming, butch - these are all commonly used by some people in the gay community). So when people use them as an insult, they don't have as much power as they once did. So depending on the person and the context, a gay man could like being called "flaming". But not if it's being hurled as an insult, which it sometimes is.

Answer 2

I know a lot of people who think it's insulting but it doesn't bother me too much as long as I know you are not using it in a negative way. Saying that someone is 'gay' is just stating what their sexual orientations is. When you say someone is 'flaming', you are usually using that word to describe a certain personality type that heavily incorporates some stereotypes (not always negative) of their sexual orientation. It makes sense to me but some people might find it insulting because you are sort of referring to a stereotype, in a way, and that's 'unacceptable' to a lot of people even when it's not meant in a negative way.

I don't think your 'missing' anything but maybe you shouldn't be surprised when some people take it the wrong way. 'Flaming' is an insult to some especially since it's used by a lot of people who are homophobic.

Answer 3

I <3 being called flaming because it's true lol. I'm extremely effeminate and sometimes refer to myself as having a "flaming gay" personality, even though I'm bi. It all depends on the gay/bi guy you're talking to though; some take it as an insult, some (like me) take it as truth and sometimes even as compliments.

Answer 4

relies upon, if i see a guy who makes use of hair straightners, continuously looks at their photograph, taking time to % the final clothing or something on those lines then i might say he's gay even although he's at as quickly as. by way of fact thats not the failings a actual guy does. a guy wouldnt care what people think of of him, gets his arms grimy to get the activity performed, be a gentleman etc. adult men who use hair straightners and who're continuously staring at their photograph to be a surprisingly boy are merely undeniable poofs. with out soundaing gay i've got been given a mate who's sturdy looking and constantly has the girls chasing after him yet i wouldnt say he's gay, he performs alot of activities, does looking and fishing, couldnt supply a sh|t what he's wearing or what he looks like and is into slightly DIY. Your bf probable gets referred to as he's gay by way of fact he acts like a surprisingly boy poof, yet i dont comprehend the guy. Can he dermis a beast, performs interest or does he merely want to look sturdy yet act like he has no ballz? If he's a guy or woman similiar to my mate then your bros are merely panzies by way of fact they dont do sh|t themselves.

Answer 5

If your friends are comfortable with it, don't worry about anyone else. I probably wouldn't use a term that could be construed as derogatory around people who might not understand the jest.

Answer 6

I have to agree with SJ as well. it depends on the context and the intention.

Answer 7

SJ summs it up pretty well!