I’m a 14 year old male and I have a big crush on my male best friend.I have these feelings are developing for him that seem strong.I came out to him a few months ago and at first,he freaked and didn’t talk to me at all then he finally came out and we’re friends again but things are different now.At school before I came out to him, he would sit by me everyday but now, he never sits by me.Also, he tries not to stand too close to me in fear that I may touch him or something.This really hurts because I thought he was gay too but I really don’t know.So many people have questioned both of our sexuality in the past or think we’re going together but we both say we’re straight though I’m definitely not but I don’t know about him.I really want to be in a relationship with him but I doubt we could even if he was gay since he was raised in a strict Christian home and his parents think that homosexuality is a sin.Could he also have feelings for me but don’t want to admit it or is he just straight?
2007-01-15 12:45:27 · 4 answers · asked by HCL 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Actually, he never came out to me, I meant to write came around not came out. And I also live in the US and here in the south, being gay is like having cancer.
2007-01-15 13:31:55 · update #1
No one at school knows I'm gay except him. He is 15 and we're both in the 9th grade. He has a cousin in the same grade as us who hates gays (he said it himself) and if word gets out me and/or him are gay, chances are his parents will know too.
2007-01-15 13:35:56 · update #2
You said that he came out also, did he actually say that he was gay? IF he did then he is gay.
You also say that he was raised in a very strict christian home and his parents think that homosexuality is a sin.
IF you are both around 14 years old that means that you are probably either in 8th or 9th grade. High school can be a very rough time for anybody and especially hard if you are gay. Since you have said that he was raised in a strict christian home and his parents don't approve of homosexuals, then that is probably the majority of the problem.
Do other people in the school know that you are gay? If the answer is yes and if he was to hang around you all the time like he did when you were not out, then he may get the label of being gay also. This label would spread around school and possibly end up at his house from somebody that didn't like gay's either. Now his parents find out that their son is gay and they rush him to a psychologist to find out what is wrong and how can they fix this homosexual thing that has infected their son.
Now your best friend is in therapy 2 or 3 days a week, is banned from even talking to you at all, probably on restriction until he is 18 years old and has to attend every church session until he is curred.
This is just my thinking, and I could be wrong, but think about it for a couple of minutes before you call me a crazy idiot.
If you want my best advise, you should continue to be his friend, but don't push him or he might back away from you permanently so he doesn't have to explain why he is your friend. He may have feelings for you, but can't show them because of what I have said. He also may be afraid or confused, because he has been raised with the notion that homosexuality is a sin against god and doesn't know what too do.
Give him some time to come to grips with everything. IF he was your friend before, he will be your friend again. High School is a very confusing time and you kids are under alot of pressure from so many sides, telling you what to do and what too wear and what to listen too. Chill out and figure out who you are and try to be the best friend that you can be to all of your friends. The ones that are confused have the right to be, and if they are truely your friends, they will be back to be your friends again.
Good Luck!
2007-01-15 13:21:47 · answer #1 · answered by Joel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg, u really am brave. I have the same thing when I'm 14, now I'm 18 though. I never came out to him and Im glad I didn't coz he really do look like gay, but he actually isn't. The thing is, I do have a really bad high school years bcoz of this guy. He is my best friend for 3 years until I feel 'things' for him. Can't shook it off my head. It went on for a year and I started to keep my distance from him. Yea, he was curious and all, but I never told him and just keep on building that barrier. Until finally he got himself a girlfriend, YEA !! haleluya, Just kidding, I regret it, I wished I could've just stay cool with him and maybe be bestfriends without him ever knowing I'm gay instead of just cutting off that relationship. I gotta say u're friggin brave, especially he's a christian which is exactly what mine is too, fanatic Christian. Being gay is complicated, we both know that, sometimes we wonder what our future might be, maybe just leave that sex part and get a girl or run away with a guy. But leave all that complicated stuff till ur around 20s, Right now, enjoy it, dont let that monkey love get a hold of ur teenager years. If it gets u down, try watching some teen gay movies like sommersturm [summer storm], it really helps. BTW I'm asian, and u know what, gay ppl are not as free as it is here in the US. For instance, if ur parents knew u were gay, they would probably disown u and send u to a psychiatric hospital, hahahhaha, and at school people would probably talk behind ur back all day long and stay away for the rest of ur school life. I respect your decision really, coming out is something I'm not gonna be able to do, btw, I'd like to know more of ur story, please send me more of ur development with this guy, also if u have any questions please ask me, glad to help u
2007-01-15 21:17:50 · answer #2 · answered by levis_88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not you. it's his comfort level with being gay. He's not really comfortable with being gay as you are.
2007-01-15 21:00:16 · answer #3 · answered by What'd You Say? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How come ur avatar is a female????
2007-01-15 20:48:43 · answer #4 · answered by HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋