Do you like this poem, try reading it and tell me what you think?

Question

This poem is called "Simple Man in Complicated Life" Life, oh life why must you be this way? Dog me out and kick me from day to day? Chew me up and spit me out, taunt, torment, making me scream and shout? I see you treat others so good and well, with when others talk about you their life seems so swell, so why, oh why must you treat ME this way? Have I left you in such dissgust,your heaven you turn away? To the depths of the earth you throw me away, turm my heart into helpless clay, burn my passion for you into ashes oh,and by the way, your like a thorn in my side just waiting to play, my motivation, my desires for happiness you push and push until my red turns gray. Oh why oh why must you treat me this way, is there a lesson I must learn, in the end will my thoughts of you turn? Maybe it's just mecause every trial is a test and the strength from within yearns, more tribulations more pain because my soul knows from this there is spirtual gain,of virtue,wisdom,etc.no pain no gain

Answer 1

WOW!!!

That is truly impressive! It is very, very good. You are gifted. Thank you for sharing it.

Answer 2

My first reaction was: I love your poem. It was not just the main theme that I loved. It was something about you and something about the way you presented your own discovered vision of one of the most important themes any human could possibly tackle. Your poem was a reminder. It was touching, natural, unforced and not too fancy. I would really like to thank you for letting us read it.

I let it percolate for a little while while I did some errands and so forth. And then it gelled. It was reassuring to me that you would take the time and find the passion to set it to writing and then get it out to the rest of us.

I wonder about this theme all the time. It is so easy to miss the final point and you caught it in a way that I found upliftng. I'm glad that you did not belabor it, nor make it too fancy. What was effective was the message itself; the conversion from wondering about the apparent senseless frustration and injustice and suffering in life, to the possibility that the soul seeks this hardship in order to strenghten and even illuminate the spirit. Truly it is so easy to forget this, or dismiss it, or just lose faith in it.

In any case, it seems so true: the soul does seem to choose a certain measure of hardship and at times suffering, so that it will be burned to ash, somehow knowing that from the ash something precious and strong will be born.

Thank you many times for your inspired message,

B. Lyons

Answer 3

Your poem is nice. Which means you have a talent for both reason and rhetoric. It's also nice that you ended your piece with a realization that life is not out to get you. It would definitely do you good to apply your understanding through action.
Writing is a great way to release nergy in what ever form. Keep on writing and if you feel the need for someone to listen to your thoughts, give me a buzz.
Peace.

Answer 4

That is material life.You are correct. You are actually seeing the material energy at play. We are in the material world called Maya (illusion) which is temporary and full of misery. Only one fourth of the souls come to this place. (the less intelligent ones, that's us) we are in Her world Mother Nature also called Maya or Dhurga meaning very difficult to get out. The only way out of illusion is to fully surrender to the Supreme Lord also known as Krishna Allah, Jehovah,Vishnu, Rama, etc. The quickest and easiest way to get in contact is to chant the Maha Mantra. It brings one to their constitutional position and clears all the veils of illusion so we can see things as they are and be truly happy (walk in this world but not of it) go to harekrishnatemple.c for details Read Bhagavad Gita As it is By Bhaktivedant Prabhupada. which gives one the purpose and meaning to life.

Answer 5

i like it, it has rhythm and i find it really interesting that you posted the poem here, thanxs for that, never forget to smile

Answer 6

I think you add line breaks and post it on http://deviantart.com - they have a poertry community there.

Answer 7

Deep/dark. I liked it.

Answer 8

i like..post it somewhere whre everybody can see it..i mean i really liked it<3

Answer 9

i liked it