I have been married for 14 yrs and I have seen that he only wants friends I don't know and I will never get to know. When I get a friend he manages to talk to them and I don't hear from them again.
2007-01-15 11:51:18 · 47 answers · asked by sharess_robbins 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like he's hitting on your friends.
2007-01-15 11:54:47 · answer #1 · answered by Yinzer from Sixburgh 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi 14 years that's long. I guess that if he only wants friends you don't know he must have his reason. i'm not suggesting that he might be hidding something from you because he might not!!!Maybe he doesn't want you to meet them because he is scared to lose you. But this might not be the actual answer to the why he doesn't want you to know them. Maybe you should try and ask him about this!! Just let him know how you feel. When you are married both parties should be open with each other i guess and should not feel threatened by the other party's opinion. You don't have to be scared or anything because if he does love you he will understand how you feel and will manage to do anything he can to make you happy and for that matter make it up to you. That's weird that when he talks to your friends that they don't wanna talk to you anymore. maybe you should do the first move and call them if you don't hear from them after they meet your husband. Well i suggest that you call them and i dunno maybe ask them why you don't hear from them. Well if your husband is hidding something from you, you'll find out. But that's only my opinion, i suggest that you don't jump to conclusions just yet cause you don't know what's on his mind, just wait for other answers and work out what's the best way to approach the situation. Communication is the key in every relationship so talk to him about your concerns and i'm sure it'll all work out alright. And a last thing, well when you talk to him don't make it sounds like it's all his fault that you don't have any friends. Just call your friends first then work out what you are going to do next. Just Remember that you don't need his permission to have friends, it's your right as a human being!!!!!!!!!and he should respect that if he really loves you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hope that i've been able to help =D
2007-01-15 12:19:43 · answer #2 · answered by ror 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is pretty much trying to isolate you from the world. Why some people do this, I do not know. And, yes, there are ladies that do it as well.
This is a way of him having control over something, or someone. Many times, these people are very insecure for some reason. This is often considered a for of abuse, and can lead to other forms of abuse.
Counseling would be your best bet, and if he will not go, then leaving him may be the answer. It is never a good thing to be isolated from society. You should have your friends, he should have his, and you should have friends together.
2007-01-15 11:57:52 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a control freak. I have had married friends, whos husband were very jelous of any man besides them talking to their wives. It is not a healthy relationship. Have an open conversation with him on this. Tell him that you love him, but you need to have friends who you can talk with. As a human being, we need those social connections to feel whole. It is a way to unplug from the daily stress of life. You need a new life line. Make him understand that your needs have surpassed his ability to fulfill. It's not that his not an important part of your life, just that you need to socially grow.
If not, you may go through a bad midlife crisis. If he is not willing to take this seriously then it could result in terrible consequences.
In short. Quid Pro Quo. What is acceptable for him, should be acceptable for you.
2007-01-15 12:06:09 · answer #4 · answered by Zeke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is trying to control your life. This is a form of abuse, so don't let him get away with it. You are entitled to a life of your own, and I doubt you've done anything to make him distrustful of you. Join a club or take a class where you will meet people you might connect with. The same rules that apply to him apply to you. He does not own you. If he denies you this basic right of individuality, you are in a dangerous relationship and need to take an honest look at what can be done about it. You should be with a man that treats you as an equal partner, not as his personal maid and valet.
2007-01-15 11:58:39 · answer #5 · answered by roknrolr63 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like its a trust issue. Ask him if he would feel okay if you had friends that you never introduced to him and if he says that he doesn't feel comfortable with that then tell him that he's doing that to you and your feeling uncomfortable. If he really cares he should be caring and understanding with things that you are concerned about. Reassure him that you would never do anything that would hurt the marriage, all you want is to have friends and be able to hang out with friends whenever you get a chance.
2007-01-15 12:00:29 · answer #6 · answered by karenlm215 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would first try to address the issue firmly with him, from a position of strength where you take the attitude that you are prepared to live without your husband if he is not going to treat you fairly. I would not threaten him with things you do not plan to carry out, such as telling him you are going to leave him, when you really don't mean it as he will probably see right through it. Instead let your attitude speak for itself once you have carefully thought things out. Then let him respond. Then if he still does not take you seriously I think it would be time for you to leave him, unless you think you can be happy under those circumstances. I don't think that I could be happy, but it is up for you to decide.
2007-01-15 12:46:37 · answer #7 · answered by days_o_work 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you say...'control freak'? This man is obviously very insecure and after 14 yrs of it, I doubt seriously that he will change. This change usually doesn't occur if it hasn't in all those years. Some men benefit from counselling, but if he's been doing this all these years, I doubt it will help. Good luck. You need friends and family. Do not let him dictate to you. Very unhealthy relationship. I can spot them...believe me! I've been in plenty of them.
2007-01-15 12:01:55 · answer #8 · answered by Suzan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you need to talk to your husband if you've been married for 14 years hell understand that you need some friends to get out of the house with every now and then
if he really loves you then hell let you have some friends
if he doesn't then do you really think hes the best one for you?
Good luck
2007-01-15 11:57:07 · answer #9 · answered by godsgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to you're husband about this because thats no way that he should act like this. I would not consider Divorce because this promblem should be solved by talking. You should tell him what you feel and if he says that he has a promblem with you're friends explain to him that you enjoy you're friends and if he has a promblem with them then he should just go to another room if you're friends are at you're house.Hope this Helped and remember talk to HIM!
2007-01-15 12:03:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah it does actually, sounds pretty controlling.
Maybe you should tell him to shut the **** up and stop talking to your friends, or when he has friends manage to get them to never call him again.
Or just leave that jerk.
2007-01-15 11:55:51 · answer #11 · answered by +No longer a Yahoo answerer+ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋