We have been together for 6 months and I dont even feel like I should be calling him my boyfriend...(I should be calling him my fiancee cause thats what he feels like) For the first 5 months everything was WONDERFUL (infatuation) and then I woke up one monring without reason and thought that I didnt love him anymore....
Any suggestions?
I feel like I am thinking about my asshole ex alot more too which discusts me.....I want to be with this new guy forever.....
2007-01-15 11:42:32 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Work on making things new.
Do diffrent things
2007-01-15 11:46:37 · answer #1 · answered by zen522 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love can last forever but infatuation cannot. Most people confuse those infatuating illusions of perfection in a relationship with losing love for the person they are with. Once your guard is completely let down and it seems as though you know each other better than you know yourself, things are bound to be different, almost as if you are taking a step back. But that does not mean that you don't love him anymore. Substitute those thoughts of your ex with spending time with your boyfriend. Work on finding that comfort level of knowing that he is the person you love regardless of the infatuation that is fading away. If you still feel as though you do not love him anymore, talk to him about it. Communication is key. Having doubts is ok but if you don't resolve those doubts yourself or talk to your boyfriend about it, they will only get worse. This whole situation can be a stepping stone in your relationship, bringing you closer together and reminding you of why you fell in love with him in the first place.
2007-01-15 19:52:31 · answer #2 · answered by ColleenM7387 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you have to let go of all the thoughts of this ex of yours and start focusing more on this new guy. Those thoughts will cause you to loose the love of your life. Enjoy being with the new guy love him for him and show him your love be happy that ur not with that ex of yours anymore. That is nothing but those satan thoughts in your head he don't wanna see you happy so he keep throwing those thoughts in your head. DOnt' mess up the love of your life with these ex thoughts. Be happy enjoy your new guy look at him as your fiance and if that is what you wanna call him call him that refer to him as your fiance. Do what will make you happy to where your love and feelings for the new guy will all come back. HE might not mind but do it anyway heck just get those thoughts outta your head get over him he is your EX he is history old news. Now you have a new guy treat him like he is your everything and before you know it that ring will be on the way for you.
2007-01-15 19:56:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't exactly "go". There are times in your relationship when things will be "up". You'll feel infatuated, you'll be all "in love", your heart will beat faster when you see them, etc. Then there'll be times when you look at them and think the feeling has gone away. In your heart, though, you do still love them. It's just a different kind of love. As Cathy from "Wuthering Heights" described it, "My love for Heathcliff is like the eternal rocks beneath. A source of little visible delight, but necessary." It's stronger than you think. Don't give up on your relationship because it's on one of those downswings. Just make an effort to bring a little magic back.
2007-01-15 19:50:05 · answer #4 · answered by Jess H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you first love someone, the one you love is like an angel sent from heaven. If they have faults, you can't see them. What you are really seeing is mostly coming from you and what you want to see.
After a few months, days, or years, the golden glow around your beloved begins to fade, and you begin to see them as they really are. You begin to notice little things that bug you, that don't seem so cute any more.
This is the critical stage. If you can get through this stage your relationship stands a chance. Remember that neither one of you can read minds, that you are each separate people, and you have to tell them how you feel and you have to listen carefully to what THEY are telling YOU. This takes work, and patience, and you will need to keep this up for the rest of your life. It requires you to know yourself as well as your lover.
Make a list of the things you like about your lover. Have them do the same, and exchange lists.
Try to suprise your lover with one nice thing every day. Hand them a cup of coffee fixed up just the way they like it. Slip a little note in their pocket to find later. If you go to bed before them, lie on their side so that it will be warm for them.
If you are having trouble with a string of relationships that all fail in the same way, know that people usually pick out the same kind of person over and over, until they discover why that kind of person appeals to them. It's not their fault if they all remind you of an abusive parent- you probably picked them out for just that reason. You have to know yourself and what you need.
Good luck- they don't all work out, but if you can keep your eyes open, you can make your relationship better. If worst comes to worst, the next time you're in the market you may know enough about yourself to look for someone who will really make you happy.
2007-01-15 19:46:55 · answer #5 · answered by Hal H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do realize that you don't have to be with any guy, right? Forget the ex...and take a serious look at your current situation. You don't feel you are in love, and perhaps when the infatuation stage passed you realized that y'all just aren't a good match after all. That's okay...it's okay to move on, it's okay to be single, it's okay to not be where you think you ought to be in life.
Don't force it. It's either there, or it's not. If it's not...let it go.
2007-01-15 19:47:23 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you wanted to be with this guy forever the ex would not be on your mind see your ex before making a commitment, i mean see him face to face and ask him again why you are both not together.
2007-01-15 20:07:52 · answer #7 · answered by lara 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you remeber the memories you had with this guy. And ask yourself why did you love him in the first place? Beacuse he's rich? Because he's funny? Beacuse he's nice? Because he's handsome? Ask yourself is it fair to him that the next morning you hate him.
2007-01-15 19:48:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, honey, you said it, it's infatuation. Every relationship goes through that phase. When it's over, you have to make a really BIG decision...is this someone that I really want to spend a lot of time with????? MARRIAGE PERHAPS?
2007-01-15 19:46:29 · answer #9 · answered by Stefi13 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it comes and go because of you.you should meet another person and that person will become ur best friend he will care about you and other stuff you will love that new person ya will care about each othermore then what you do with your ex.
2007-01-15 19:47:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋