What can I do boys?

Question

My boyfriend is not gay.
We have sex regularly (most nights) but only in the missionary postion, I've tired talking (even googling with him!) about doing it in other positions including Doggy Style. He's quite small so a few positions don't work.
The others don't work because he loses his errection.

Whenever I give him a handjob or blowjpb it takes so damn long I get totally bored of it and my arm and/or mouth starts hurting.
I've asked him how he wants it done, I've asked him to tell me, to show me. I've told him I'll do anything he wants.
I don't want a diagram for god's sake but after 30-40 minutes of not much, I need SOME feedback. And it's not like I'm inexperienced or terrible at either. I've had a lot of positive feedback!

Also, he never seems to be turned on by me unless we're about to have sex. For example, other guys I've been with, have a constant errection when they shower with me or when they see me getting dressed - this guy?? Never happened.

I've tried everything, sexy underwear, no underwear, I've tried candles and ice...

For example, tonight, I had a shower, put some nice smelly stuff on, went into the bedroom and started rubbing lotion on my legs in front of him wearing only a towel.
He just glanced up and then went back to drawing.
It's always been like this...

What more can I do? What should I do?

I know he loves me and he loves having sex (missionary style) with me but...

And the other thing is, that the sex isn't that great for me..
I've tried moving his hand or tired showing him what I like or told him "It was sexy when you ... "

And still nothing. It's nearly been a year and nothing has got better.
Also, when I finally had the guts to SAY something, he didn't come the next time we had sex.

I don't know what to do.

I really love him and I know he loves me. He's one of my best friends.

I know he's insecure, but how can I work with him on that?

I've had a lot of relationships. And I know this one could work.
And when he goes down on me, it's great.

Answer 1

Unfortunately there are those few guys that just take forever. I wouldn't take it personal as this probably happens often with him. All I can say is just take charge and maybe even be more aggressive with him. Pin him done to the bed and do what you do best (whichever that is). Good Luck!!!

Answer 2

A good possibility is that he views too much porn. I have noticed through time that the more porn I watch the more I become into a certain state that thinks that those films are a reflection on how reality should be. Cut out the porn and things become much more normal and the usual things are back the way they used to be.

So I have learned to keep porn viewing if at all to a bare minimum. Although I would watch more if my girlfriend enjoyed watching it, but she finds it repulsive.

Couldnt be that you are not talented enough or sexy enough, just his distortion of reality has inhibited his ability to become aroused.

His inability to try new things, only thing I have for that is you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

Answer 3

This is what I call sitting on blessings. Suggest to him to talk to someoen close to him , like an uncle a big bro or something, and get some tips and skills, If i had a chance to coach this guy for two weeks, he'd rip you apart on the next encounter. My friend had similar problems and we went to an uncle of his and learn some stuff about sex we took for granted, now i envy him coz he can push 3 strong rounds in a row. He needs some coaching, that is the only answer,

Answer 4

If the problem is his sex drive try convincing him about taking some ginseng root, it will give him energy for all his other activities but for sex too.

You say he would rather draw that have sex with you? Maybe you could try telling him to draw you while you pose naked in some sexy positions, that might turn him on.

Or maybe a bit of role-playing?

Although he might be into stuff that he thinks is too freaky that he fells ashamed and opts for the more traditional sex position.

Answer 5

Is there a chance that maybe he's just not that into you anymore?
Sometimes things like that do happen where a guy after he's slept with a girl doesn't see her as a sexual entity anymore.

If that's not the case then I'd suggest you pick up a few dvds from your local adult store and spice it up a bit with him.

Answer 6

The dating can or connot final lengthy relying on how some distance aside they're. If you desire to hang around with him, possibly a few of his peers can become a member of you and a few of your peers in order that it may not be uncomfortable and yuo get to hang around

Answer 7

You have yourself a poor lover who shows no concern for your physical needs. I think you have done enough already you talked to him, your constantly making the effort, while he makes none. If you are still unsatisfied after all that than take up another lover.

Answer 8

sounds like hes just not as sexual as other guys, or even you. it sucks that you cant do some of the positions, but idk. if it takes him that long to get hard, then you are probably making him feel bad or scared that he wont be able to, which is a big turnoff for guys.maybe you just havent found something that you 2 will both enjoy or be enthusiastic about. i mean, if he cant get hard in bed sometimes, wouldnt you get a little mad if he got hard just watching you get dressed? just saying...

Answer 9

try using some alternative options such as dressing up or role-play or even using props. Or hell you might even have to cut him off for a period of time to try and bring back some of the excitement.

Answer 10

he is just not very horny all the time! try and give him sexual hints once in a while and he will start to get horny around you regularly. he will assosiate you with sex and will be thinking about it all the time if you keep it on his mind.

good luck gett'en an erection out of 'em!