my friend is getting a little tired of her husband and she found out that her husband is getting porn emails on his cellphone and she saw her cell phone and saw his emails and told him about it:when she talked to him about it her husband said "its not my problem that my friends are sending me this" so she asked me for help and now im asking you for help. Please help my friend so she wont have to suffer anymore.
2007-01-15 11:36:19 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To divorce over such a thing is serious overkill. I'm not saying it doesn't need to be adressed, because it does..... I'm just saying NO marriage would survive if people up and divorced at the slightest sign of trouble.
She needs to find out what the deal is. Maybe he just likes porn? Of course he does he is a guy. Once she learns to accept that she'll be happier.
On his cell phone, though? He is doing that to hide it from her. Why? Well - she is obviously ballistic about this.
They just need to talk. I don't even think they need a counsellor.
2007-01-15 11:40:45 · answer #1 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is suffering? Sorry, but it doesn't seem like suffering, it's more like a guy stuck back in high school, with friends to match. None of my friends would be likely to send that stuff to me. At least, zero so far. Hubby wouldn't get porn if he didn't want to get it. But your friend shouldn't act surprised, because this isn't a new thing, in fact she has known from the start, that he liked porn, because he's liked it from the start. He'll outgrow it eventually, but then God only knows what hobby he'll come up with then. She could end up with a mate into chain saw sculpture, down in the basement until 3 AM.
2007-01-15 13:11:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real question is why is your friend getting a little tired of her husband? How long have they been married? The real problem is not the emails, it is something deeper. They need to have a real 'heart to heart' sit down kinda talk and discover how they feel about each other, and if they are committed to make their marriage work. Marriage takes work. You have to keep each other in the for-front of your thoughts...keep it spicy and interesting. A weekly date night is imperative, I think. You don't need to spend alot of money to spend time together and talk, and romance, and treat each other with respect and love. What brought them together in the first place, is always going to be there--you just have to remember to keep it alive.
2007-01-15 11:50:45 · answer #3 · answered by Nisey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try counseling and go from there. Even thouh his friends are supposedly sending him porn on his cellphone he has the right to tell them to stop. But I would say that he's doing it himself and blaming others.
To be honest that kind of problem does create problems in marriage's because it broke up my second marriage
2007-01-15 12:12:27 · answer #4 · answered by lana1meyer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce and marriage should not be treated as simple day to day activities. Every possible means should be taken to preserve this sacred union. It is vital if a child or children are involved.
If love is still involved, then it’s definitely not too late. If they are having troubles communicating, then counseling is the best approach. It will allow the two of them to discuss their concerns or worries with a mediator to help.
If love is gone, this is far more difficult to resolve this type of problem.
Communication is vital to any relationship; especially marriage.
2007-01-15 11:47:08 · answer #5 · answered by last_of_the_romantic_men 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think at every marriage deserves a chance I would suggest to her that they try counseling first and see if that works. Sometimes a marriage just needs a little extra attention. But if that does not work she needs to consider a divorce. If she has tried to talk to him and he is not hearing her maybe counseling will help. If he really loves her and it is his friends e-mailing him he will tell them to knock it off. Tell her to try to make it work and if it doesn't then she needs to cut him loose.
2007-01-15 12:20:19 · answer #6 · answered by JANET 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs to use a little common sense.
If her husband uses the excuse that his friends send them to him,
(even if it's true) then her husband should tell his friends 'not' to
send that crap to him.
BUT, my suspicion is, that her husband 'likes' to look at this stuff,
and if he didn't he would 'and could' BLOCK those emails.
That way they'd never even reach him, but since they are on his
cellphone and she saw them, then it's plainly obvious that he
'DOES' look at porn..
Everything that we get on T.V.,, computors, cellphones etc,
can be 'blocked' if it is undesireable..
Your friend needs to learn a little more about 'blocking', then she'd
realize her husband is lying about it..
2007-01-15 15:30:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i am strong beliver that when your married your married for better or worse, that means no matter what and its not a big deal that he recoves porn messages, we all do it would be a problem if he was obssessed with it. i think your friend just needs to maybe communicate with him and ask him whats going on and try to spice up their bedroom life, but sweetie porn is everywhere its nothing to get a divorce over i mean when you get married you make a promisse to you partner and your god so she should try to just work it out.
2007-01-15 11:45:45 · answer #8 · answered by brown_eyedgurl22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never suggest divorce. Go to counseling. Divorce is a terrible thing and the rates are too high!! People just don't take the marriage commitment seriously enough today.
2007-01-15 11:41:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is not a big enough issue to wind up in divorce unless she wants out of the marriage for other reasons. Communicate, communicate, communicate.
2007-01-15 12:10:29 · answer #10 · answered by meteor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋