Geting that spark back.?

Question

I love my husband. But there have been somethings that have made our relationship strained and I am more or less apathetic towards him. I love him, but I am having a hard time giving myself to him again. I cannot bring myself to joke with him the way I used to and I always want to talk about the past. How can I bring teh spark back into my marriage? I love him, but sometimes I think about leaving him. He has not changed, he still cracks jokes and tries to make me laugh, but I can't. I don't even tell him I love him anymore. What are some fun ideas for me to try with him?

Answer 1

I've been with hubby for almost 15 years so I TOTALLY know where you're coming from. I've had a few episodes this past year where anything and everything hubby did was annoying. I blame it on hormones and am seeing the Dr to try to figure out things. I'd find out what is causing *you* to feel this way. There's something else going on in your psyche that is causing this emotional rift. Have you thought about talking to a therapist? Do you two have chances to get away solo? A weekend away at a B&B?

Answer 2

take a road trip/vacation with your husband. No newspapers, no TV, no children. We are currently winding down a trip from Los Angeles to Arizona. The long drive was a beautiful opportunity to talk, remember why we love each other and we witnessed the wedding of a cousin in Phoenix. Sunday we drove to Flagstaff, where I lived as a child, saw my old school and the house I lived in and had a drive to the Grand Canyon, which my husband had never seen. Unfortunately, he slipped on some ice and it required a trip to the emergency room. Being there for each other in good times and bad, in sickness and health...is what it's all about. I really didn't want to be the adult today and have to drive back to the hospital but he has done the same for me.
Sometimes the magic isn't really lost, it just takes different forms

Answer 3

You have to get on with being happy and feeling good. If you ned to loosen up get you a wine cooler or 2 (not enough to get drunk just to loosen up) Make up a snack tray and watch a movie while you eat diner. If you have kids a blanket so that you can rub on each other a little if you like. Go out and eat diner with friends or have some over. This will get you talking some more. If you can not talk to each other then you are telling your friend that tells her hubby and he tells your hubby. Just make sure that your friend kind of knows the idea of the comunication. Do things each of you like to do oe use to do. Go out and roller skate on the cheap nite at the rink and then go eat diner. Just figure out what you would like to do. There is a pizza place up on court square and we are going up there to sit in the tables out front and watch people and cars go by. Get togethr with him and just try and do things together and the talking will come even if it is about nothing. It is still talking. Get away from the tv and pc. The newest truck I got (4x4) with an auto transmision so that maybe I could get the wife to go with me and drive a bit. The only reason I am on the computer is because my wife is at work. When she is home I stay away from it. It is her time then not its.

Answer 4

If you still love him do not give up easily..Try, if possible, to get away together and stay in a room don't sleep until you both have had the chance to talk about everything that is on your minds, the past, present, and what you hope for the future. Hopefully, something good will come out of it and you get past the feelings you are having now. Either way you will have tried. Please don't give up until it is impossible.

Answer 5

It sounds like you two need counseling; if he won't go then you owe it to yourself to go alone.
You need to find a way to forgive him or decide that you want to move on--but living in the limbo in between is not fair to either one of you. A counselor will help you sort this out as well as help you figure out if you're suffering from mild depression (there are a lot of symptoms other than the usual three or four that we always hear about)
As for fun ideas...I'm not sure--spending money to try hard to have fun is not going to work if there's an underlying problem. You could try to recreate the beginning of your relationship when you went out on dates--what activities did you two enjoy? Another option is to try something new that neither one of you has done before--something to bond you together (examples--skydiving, learning to sail).

Answer 6

You need to talk to a counselor and take care of your inhibition. You say you love him but you don`t say what put a strain on relationship. You can forgive, even if you can`t forget.You have to make up your mind that you want this to work. Sounds like your husband is a very fun loving guy. You don`t have an abusive husband. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. GOOD LUCK

Answer 7

Maybe you 2 should try 2 have sum time 2 talk 2 each other without playin around & tell each other how u truley feel about each other & sum of the things that u guys can do 2 help each other out

Answer 8

Women have two lists:

The short list - this is why you married him - all the wonderful things that you love about him.

The long list - this is all the crappy stuff he's done since you married him.

You need to pull out your short list. Why did you marry him? What was it about him that fired you up and got you feeling all warm and squishy. Men seldom change and whether you know it or not, you are happy about that. You don't want a wimpy man that changes at your whim.

FP

Answer 9

First, sit down and talk to him then spend more time with him get together and go see a movie together that is starting and then you have to try holding hands together and go things you used to do that you don't do anymore later it will all come back and I hope every thing work out for you both and save your marraige.

Answer 10

Try dating each other again. Go out and h e fun like you did when you where dating. Try not to dwell on the past, sometimes it will come back to bite you.