He's married again, and i have a great b/f.The problem is that my ex comes to see me at work often, and is always calling me.I feel there's a BIG bond between us.His wife told him not to call me, so i told him OK i'll never call you again.He got very desperate and said PLEASE NO i want to be your best friends forever.Since that day we alk every day, he comes to see me at work too,but just like friends, because he says he's in love with his wife, and i also respect y b/f. Everytime i see him , i feel like crying, he also flirt a lot with me.Like telling me things he wants to do with me.We
share 15 years together.What do u think ?
2007-01-15 11:16:40 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stop talking to him, if it makes you cry, it's not healthy. Move on, because it sounds like he wants to be more than just friends, and not in a good way. A phone call on a special occasion or holiday might be appropriate, but what he is doing is absolutely wrong.
2007-01-15 11:25:48 · answer #1 · answered by Smokin' Dragon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's really look at this. Have you noticed none of this is your fault? You had an abortion because he "made" you, you banged that other guy because you were "weak and vulnerable". You need to start behaving like an adult who has a child and start accepting responsibility for your actions. Why in the world would you decide to marry this guy, have a child with him and then take him back after the two of you split? I'm sure you will survive being single Your husband didn't make you have an abortion; he gave you ultimatum and you accepted. Stop comparing how he treated his ex to how you were treated. He clearly respects her and doesn't respect you. Why should he? You've done nothing to command it. Grow up, start accepting responsibility for your actions and move on. Is this really someone you should be living with? I say leave him, get some serious therapy and don't date for at least a year. You're too emotionally immature.
2016-05-24 18:24:39 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a case of bridges not been burned. Why did you get divorce is you were unable to move on with your life? Divorce and marriage should not be treated as simple day to day activities. There are a lot of people’s feelings and lives involved. Both of you are at fault for the current state of things. Going behind his wife’s back to contact you and you are letting it happen. If marriage is taken lightly the first time, what’s to stop it from happening again.
You need to make some serious decisions. He is married and the choices you and he make will have long term effect on more then yourselves. Here are a few things to consider before doing something so damaging.
Never attempt to enter a relationship with the plan of changing someone. Are you truly in love with this person? Are you willing to live forever with any and all the things, which were REASON for the divorce? Forgive and forget without remorse or calling the things back to mind? Are you willing to go to counseling to make certain that the next move is the best move?
If he says he’s in love with his wife, then he needs to spend more time with her, not you. If he’s telling you he’s in love with his wife, yet still seems to be pursuing you, it’s not for your benefit; it’s for his own selfish reasons. You should think seriously about why he’s doing this and if you agree with my last statement, then you need to put a stop to it. His wife should be his best friend, not you.
Just another person’s perspective. I'm sorry if it seems harsh, but there are a lot of potential damage to keep going the way you are.
2007-01-15 11:36:24 · answer #3 · answered by last_of_the_romantic_men 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being able to remain friends with an ex-husband is an awesome thing. However, the fact that you obviously still have feelings for him makes it a bad idea at this time. You need time to get past your feelings for him, and that can't happen as long as he's coming around all of the time. If I were you I would tell him exactly how you're feeling and ask him to give you some space for a few months. Let him know that you what nothing more then for the two of you to be friends, but that you need some time first. If he really wants your friendship he'll respect your needs.
2007-01-15 11:31:09 · answer #4 · answered by Mystical Illusions 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it doesn't upset you to be around him and you desire to have him as just a friend, then maybe it isn't such a bad idea. I can see why it makes his new wife uncomfortable but that's something he needs to handle and work out with her. If he cares about his marriage then he will make the right decision and same for you if your boyfriend is uncomfortable with the idea. But I would make sure that there are some ground rules so that he doesn't try to have his cake and eat it too, if you know what I mean.
2007-01-15 11:24:13 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's time you put down some boundaries and move on. He is your ex, and re-married. If there are no children involved it's time to cut all ties. even if you have children, flirting and other things along these lines are highly inappropriate. Where is it going? does he want to get in your pants for old time's sake? what will it do to you? friends do not flirt and jeopardize your relationship with a significant other. You should ask him to stop visiting you at work and try to take a break from him for a while.
2007-01-15 11:37:22 · answer #6 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we will always love our ex's, but he is remarried, he wants to keep in touch, seems he is not as in love with the new wife as much as he was with u, but he is still the same man u divorced, or who left u. the same problems u once had that caused the divorce are still there. u have not gotten over him yet, and he hasn't u. seems like in the real near future he will leave her and want to reconcile with u. he wants there to be a connection, his new wife feels threatened by u, wishes u would just go away. good luck to u. but it rarely ever works out when we take an ex back. we always seem to remember why it was we divorced them in the first place after awhile after the new wears off again.
2007-01-15 11:28:51 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to part from him, tell him that IF he loves his wife he will comply with her wishes. There is NO reason he should be contacting you unless it has to do with your divorce or if you have children, them. You are also NOT respecting your boyfriend if you allow your ex to come around and flirt with you during your working hours.
2007-01-15 11:24:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this will lead to more, and you guys will end up cheating on your boyfriend and he will cheat on his wife, and that is bad. If you guy want to keep going, then break up with your b/f and he should break up with his wife and you guys get back together.
If not, then stop talking because even though you might deny it now, it will build up more and more and one day something will happen and it will break a lot of hearts that you guys didn't intend on breaking.
2007-01-15 11:23:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That man wants his cake and eat it, and you are in the process of graduating from the status of wife, to ex wife and , he hopes, mistress. You must put an end to this to regain any form of self respect
2007-01-15 11:22:20 · answer #10 · answered by luciloobomber2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋