i brought up the option of using an anonomous donor of Asian descent. my wife is against it, bc she says that the child will have noone in its life to teach it the Asian side of its culture. because our brother in law is African American, she's ok w/an anonomous African American donor, because the child can learn that part of their ancestry through him. i say that it doesn't matter what nationality the donor is, so long as the child is loved, irregardless of their ethnicity. who is right?
2007-01-15 10:36:15 · 9 answers · asked by kelleygaither2000 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
It is not as clear cut as who as right. Sit down to together an consider the pros and cons.
Discuss things like how and who will teach the child about race. Take into consideration as the child ages how they may feel about being different and how you will handle this with them.
Discuss why you want an Asian child, is it purely for looks is it stereo type based?
Also discuss the idea would you like the child to look like both of you? Since the child will be getting DNA from only one of you perhaps consider a donor with similar traits to the the one who won't be conceiving.
No matter what you decide I wish you both the best.
2007-01-15 10:51:07 · answer #1 · answered by Care 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When having a child it isn't about being right or wrong. It's about deciding what is best for both of you. Is there importance to you having a child from an Asian decent? What's the importance of having a child from a different ethnicity? You have to figure that out. If you decide it's not that important why not just disregard ethnicity all together. Don't you decide based on looks, intelligence, and other things as to who is going to donate the sperm? I saw that once before. I don't know I would just figure out what is really important to you both and then decide.
I'm just throwing another idea out there. Why not adopt? It's very fulfilling and I'm sure whatever ethnicity your child would be they'd still be great.
Either way, best of luck and congratulations!
2007-01-15 10:46:14 · answer #2 · answered by .vato. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would think that even though both of you are not of asian decent, you could still teach the child about it. As long as you are to be good and loving parents, I would think that it doesn't matter what the nationality is. Just my opinion. Goodluck with whatever you two decide!
2007-01-15 10:41:56 · answer #3 · answered by *Logan's Mommy* 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see her point, but I think that you can teach your child about it's ancestry no matter what it is. Just remember that the answer isn't right or wrong it's compromising. A good exersize since you will be doing a lot of it from now on.
2007-01-15 10:48:36 · answer #4 · answered by shexshedsxtears 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also agree that it doesn't matter what nationality the donor is, as long as the child is in a loving home. But keep in mind he/she may be asking when they get older about his nationality.
2007-01-15 10:42:37 · answer #5 · answered by Katie Girl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can you teach a child of color when you are white? Just because you have someone within your family that are black does not mean a thing.
Why can't you just go with a white male donor? Then you wouldn't have to worry about explaning their hertiage to them
2007-01-15 20:29:21 · answer #6 · answered by Jasmine_ Shante_ P 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are going to do this, go with a caucasian donner. The kid will have enough problems as it is.
2007-01-15 10:49:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i know this probably doesnt help...but in different ways...ur both right
2007-01-15 10:46:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that ur right...
2007-01-15 10:43:11 · answer #9 · answered by emoteddybear02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋