My son is 8 years old and does not want to do his homework.?

Question

He is very bright and catches on quickly, but he is slacking on his homework to the point that the teacher is afraid he won't pass 3rd grade because of his missed assignments. This kind of ramification doesn't seem to affect my son. When he's doing his homework he comes to me and says I don't want to to do my homework anymore. How do I "make" him understand the importance of this at such a young age and why he "has" to do it.

Answer 1

When I was that age I NEVER did my homework. Every report card was the same: I would get E's in everything and a U in homework. I would get told over and over and over again that I was going to fail. But I did my work in class and I passed all my tests and I never failed.

If your child goes to public school, there is no way they can hold him back in 3rd grade for not doing his homework. In fact, a private school probably wouldn't do that either. Not as long as the child is able to do grade-level work.

The truth is, your son probably realizes that the threat of failing is an empty threat. Unless there is an immediate and direct consequence, he won't want to do the work. The way I see it, you have two choices. You can get on his back and FORCE him to do the work, with clear and consistent punishments for failing to do it on a daily basis. Or, you can encourage and urge him and try to get him to understand, then let him make his choices and deal with the consequences at the end of the school year.

How you want to handle it is obviously up to you. But I should point out that, despite never doing a minute of homework throughout elementary school or junior high, and despite being a pretty serious slacker in high school too, I went to Berkeley and graduated with honors. I now have two masters degrees and am a teacher myself! So do your duty as a parent and try to get your kid to do the right thing, but don't stress about it if he won't. I'm sure he'll be fine either way.

Answer 2

Did you want to do homework when you were eight? I bet you didn't. The problem is, you can talk and talk to him about the importance of doing homework but at this age, kids don't think about the consequences. They're only interested in fun and what gives them instant pleasure so homework and failing doesn't even enter their mind no matter how you emphasis it.

What you should do instead is motivate him to do it. Get a star chart and every time he does his homework give him a star and, at the end of the week, take him on a nice trip or give him a treat. Don't make homework boring. Sit with him and do it in ten to twenty minute bursts, giving him short breaks before telling him to come back to it. Promise him that you'll give him Friday nights and Saturdays off if he promises to do his homework on the rest of the days. Let him choose a nice programme to watch or an activity to do as a focus for when he finishes his homework (and if he doesn't, don't let him watch TV or go out to play with his friends).

He also to learn consequence but it needs to be in a manner that has immediate repercussions. Not doing homework means punishment right now because he's not thinking about failing the grade four or five months down the line so that isn't punishment for him. But he can also learn homework doesn't have to be all boring. With your help and rewards, it can be something that he does then can have fun after.

Answer 3

Personally I'm of the idea that homework is more for those who need extra practice. I don't think homework is all that important, but I know others who do. However, if you do want to make sure he does his homework, you won't be able to by explaining it's importance to an 8 year old. They understand the reward-punishment system better. Or if they see you working right along with them. But I know many times I don't feel like I'm getting much accomplished with homeowork, I would try to make homework feel like he's acomlishing something. I was also a very bright 8 year old, and it got me into many advanced classes, some of which I know that I have to do homework for. If he's anything like this, as soon as he gets into advanced classes (our elementary school had a program called GT for GIfted and Talented) he'll realize that homework is how you keep up with the class. Though with some classes it's really not neccesary for very much homework to be done in order to get the lesson.

Answer 4

Don't try to convince him, show him. Create a space where the two of you can do your work together. If you have work to do for your job, do it at the table while he is doing his. If not, create work for you to do such as copying recipes, family budget matters, or start doing research about something you just want to learn about. Make sure you approach your joint work time with a positive attitude. The more of the family that can be a part of this, the better.