Before you women start, maybe they ARE better off with him if I hate him enough to not see the kids. I want NOTHING to do with him. He moved out after he became involved with another woman. He now wants a divorce but has dumped her. ( I actually feel sorry for her). But I want nothing to do with him. The only way that can happen is if I give him complete custody of the kids. NOW I understand how men do this a lot. Leave the wife and the kids and start again. Live and learn.
2007-01-15 10:33:04 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The kids need to know they're loved by both parents, get a family member to pick them up for visitation unless you can't keep from badmouthing him or stuff like that.
2007-01-15 10:44:05 · answer #1 · answered by Polly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't punish your children because you don't want to see your husband. I can appreciate the hurt and humiliation you must feel at having been cheated on - but it is nothing to do with your children and they need their mother more than ever now that their parents have split up - their world is now upside down too!
I suggest you think about options such as involving a third party - perhaps on the days you would like to see your children, someone such as a family member or neighbour could pick the children up for you, so you won't have to see your husband.
I know this might be a lot to ask of someone, but perhaps (and I am sure) with time you will begin to get over the hate. Time heals all wounds.
2007-01-15 10:44:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What, give complete costody? You may hate him but it's clear you don't have any feeling's for your children if your thinking about giving comlpete custody, just because you don't want to see him dosen't mean your kids have to suffer, what happened between you and him should not interfere with your kids,,, and i know for a fact because i felt the same way at one time, but, i always let him see them no matter what. That is being selfish on you part. ss my opionion.
2007-01-15 10:46:52 · answer #3 · answered by sweetemtation_123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In order to stop hating your husband enough to see the children, you need to put your children first!! This means actually, for once, make your kids #1 priority. How you feel about your husband has no meaning whatsoever & will destroy your children if they are exposed to your anger.
How ridiculous can you be to not see your kids because of how YOU feel??
2007-01-15 10:43:15 · answer #4 · answered by Daiquiri Dream 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate my ex too but I know that he is a bad parent even though he give sthe apperance of being supper dad. He is too anal to raise kids so I MUST see them at least half the time so that they are not ompletely F-----d from living with him. Based on what you are saying, you husband is a selfish person. Try to instill some other ethics in them.
2007-01-15 10:44:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take some time for yourself before you see your children. If their dad is stable then you must find some help for yourself so you can deal with what has happened.
I know you are hurt, angry, sad, depressed, etc., but for the sake of your children, you must get some help to deal with your issues. Then, once you are healed enough, you will be able to be a great mom for your kids again and being around your ex won't bother you like it does now.
2007-01-15 10:42:13 · answer #6 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok so the kids are better off with him...that is obvious since you don't love them enough to set aside your feelings for your husband and be a mother to your children.
2007-01-15 11:37:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you love your children? if you honestly cannot stand being a mother, then by all means give up your children. look, my ex did terrible things to me and i wish him nothing but death. but i love my kids. i could never walk away from them. ever. and i refuse to cause them pain by denying them their own father. it sucks. but until they turn 18...i will have to have a conversation at some point wth that bastard. but there are ways to limit contact. voicemail, have visitation pick up points at a police station, having a lawyer deal with all the legalities. even having a mediator simplify everything for you. do it for a little while. 6 months even. if it's still too hard for you. then by all means, let him have the kids.
2007-01-15 10:45:53 · answer #8 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can understand your not wanting to have anything to do with your ex, but we're talking about your kids here! that is a completely separate issue. i could never leave my children no matter what my hubby did to me. my children are me. you don't even have to see the guy if you don't want to. go to the courts, establish your custody, and have a third party pick them up. that way you don't even have to see him.
2007-01-15 10:42:24 · answer #9 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are completely immature and selfish. You're putting your own childish "I hate him soooo much" before the needs of your children. It's quite sad that you hate your husband more than you love your children. Maybe they ARE better off.
2007-01-15 10:42:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋