I love my husband to death and I know he feels the same way. However, when it comes to his little daughter's Mother, he seems to cater to her. This kills me. I will give an example... We got to keep our daughter an extra day since there was no school today. He had arranged with Mom to take her home around 6pm since the Mom doesn't get out of work until 8pm. (Daughter has older siblings that would have looked after her..15 & 17) My husband felt this was too late for our daughter to be getting home on a school night even though she doesn't go to school till 10am. Then the Mom called and said they were closing her work early due to weather so she would be done @ 7pm and he could meet her there if he wanted too. I was furious. Papers state she is to pick her daughter up when visitations are over. He was only being nice bringing her home in the first place since Mom works late!!
I felt that since she was getting out of work @ 7pm she should come get her daughter. Am I wrong??
2007-01-15 10:25:42 · 20 answers · asked by RaLoh 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No this happens ALL the time. She will call with some excuse why her or her husband can't pick her up. It is a constant thing.
2007-01-15 10:34:51 · update #1
Just to clear up a few points. His ex wife and I are best friends and have no issues in raising their daughter.
This is a women whom he had an affair with years ago and she got pregnant so he would marry him. He didn't... now she does all she can to make our lives hell.
2007-01-15 10:48:43 · update #2
Seems the majority of answers say don't sweat it or it's
no big deal, however you are the wife and you do have
a say so about something that is bothering you when it
comes to your husband. Sit him down and talk to him and
let him know it bothers you that he is always delivering the
child to the mother when the mother is supposed to come
and pick it up and explain to him how it bothers you as
you see it as the mother is using him as she is always
making execuses for him to deliver her. Insist that the
mother abides by the court order and he should do the
talking to her about it. No-matter what people tell you
that is your husband and you have the right as a wife to
talk to him and express your likes or dislikes about a
situation in your married life. Good luck.
2007-01-15 13:03:45 · answer #1 · answered by RudiA 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am also a step mom and have some of the very same issues
with his ex. She puts her daughter up to asking for money for
food or other things in addition to child support. she has just
recently had another baby and still has not gone back to work
it has already been 6-7 months and it makes me sick to think
that I have worked all my life and continue to work now while she
sits on her lazy *** and does nothing while we pay all her bills. We also paid for the home she lives in plus child support. But
I finally have decided to try and let it go. It's not worth stressing over if your husbands ex is like most she enjoys seeing you stress over this and anything else that bothers you. Just keep
smiling and make her sick to see you so happy no matter what she dishes out.....YOU be the STRONGER person!!
2007-01-15 10:51:01 · answer #2 · answered by Karen K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are being petty. And besides that the arrangement was made between the ex and the child's father. Not your business. Give the mother a break- she sounds like she has the kids more then 50% of the time. And I agree with your husband about being late. Kids have to have time to wind down and get situated again once they get home from visiting at the parents house and kids like to get home and visit before they have to go to bed.
2007-01-15 10:39:31 · answer #3 · answered by justme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your husband agrees to it, than it's his choice, think u feel the mom is taking advantage, maybe u are feeling a bit insecure that dad is taking daughter home and he and the ex will be talking. get use to it, he will never pick u over the child, your in for a tough fight with life, with this man. understandable why u may feel this way, but he will never see it your way. my daughter fought for years with her husbands ex, over pick up's and times, just everything, his ex caused things, that were in a way disrespectful to the present wife. so my daughter had her own baby by her husband, which took away some of the attention he gave the other kids by the first wife. there will always be trouble, changes, where u feel she is taking advantage, and she is, but he will never see it that way.
2007-01-15 10:44:28 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're wrong but did you tell your husband know how you truly feel? Sometimes we think we're saying how we feel but we skip over important points. Just be honest with your husband without shouting or bringing up issues that have nothing to do this. Your feelings are valid but keep in mind that he loves his daughter and probably wants to spend that extra time with her during the drive to drop her off.
Again be honest with your husband, the relationship between husband and wife comes before all other relationships. Honesty and expressing your feelings will help keep your marriage open and above board.
2007-01-15 10:36:43 · answer #5 · answered by Alaska Angela 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you're not wrong. But unfortunately this is one of the things you have to deal with when you marry someone with kids from a previous relationship. She will ALWAYS be there, at least until the daughter is old enough to drive or 18, so get used to it.
2007-01-15 10:45:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't sweat the small stuff. Things could be way worse. My GF meets her ex half way even thought the ppw say he is to come pick up and drop off their child. Parents do this for the sake of the child. Trust me, when ex's start arguing and fighting, the child/ren will be the ones who suffer.
2007-01-15 10:43:16 · answer #7 · answered by mvas800 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not really wrong but not really right either. You will find times when he does things like this to keep peace between he and his ex for his daughters sake but just remember that he is coming back to you afterwards, so grin and bear it and don't put him in the middle between the two of you, although I think it is permitted to tell him what a jerk you think she is!!
2007-01-15 10:40:39 · answer #8 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as long as the two parents are in agreement, why do YOU have a problem with it? i'm assuming he came right back home. i can't even get my ex to meet me halfway. for 3 years i am the only one that provides the transportation of visitation. how on earth is that catering to the ex? it's catering to his daughter. learn the difference. it may make you more calmer. don't worry. i'm not jumping on you. these feelings will pass with time.
2007-01-15 10:33:39 · answer #9 · answered by Bella 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's not worth making a fuss over. So, he would drive the kid to mom's work instead of mom's house. What's the difference? It's not always about paperwork; real life is different, and should be flexible. I don't see any problem here at all.
2007-01-15 10:31:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋