okay, i lyk this guy nd so does my friend. she's been kinda obsessing over him nd i think she made this guy ask me out for her cuz i didnt even kno he was still in skool nd it turns out that they are close. i;ve tried talking to her but i dont know what to say or do! i just need some advice b cuz i dont want a ruined friendship over a guy!! HELP!!
2007-01-15 10:24:26 · 14 answers · asked by new@make-up 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
okay, i lyk this guy nd so does my friend. but i lyked him first nd she knew it nd now she's been kinda obsessing over him nd i think she made this other guy ask me out for her cuz i didnt even kno he was still in skool nd it turns out that they are close. ive tried talking to her but i dont know what to say or do! i just need some advice b cuz i dont want a ruined friendship over a guy!! HELP!!
2007-01-15 10:41:14 · update #1
well not to be mean but she seems like a *****!! she needs to grow up and u need to tell her that wht she is doing is not right and its childish and that she already knows that u like him thin talk to him face to face without her there and tell him how u fill about him!!!
2007-01-15 10:28:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your friend to 'let nature take it's course', and that there won't be a next time in asking the guy for her.You are right about ruining your friendship.You friend sounds manipulative,so don't let her force you to do something that you don't want to do.As far as the guy is concerned, just be your self, if he likes you he'll notice, if not move on. Don't play games to get a guy to like you and remember that guys aren't property. Good luck.Grandma.
2007-01-15 10:33:55 · answer #2 · answered by nancy e 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no guy is worth ruining a friendship over. If you are going to go for him you better make sure she won't mind. If I were you I would look for another guy. I always say the best thing you can do for your soul is to take the high road. Good luck though, it won't be easy.
2007-01-15 10:29:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Surviving The Break-Up Blues
We all crash and burn.
Perhaps you’re kicking yourself for not seeing the signs. Maybe you feel like you’ve been played for the fool. Perhaps you did the dumping and are having second thoughts. Before you go and drop out of society or start buying Mint Chip Ice Cream by the pallet, think about what just happened. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Maybe you just got saved from living for decades with the wrong person. At the very least, you can be thankful that you are not a celebrity, so your angst and embarrassment isn’t plastered all over every grocery checkout stand in the known universe. Small mercies.
Break-Up Survival Kit • A journal, pens, a glue stick, scissors • A stack of really good DVD’s • A gym membership and workout buddy • Aroma therapy (incense, oils, etc.) • Hot new shoes (women) • New video game (men)
If you’re lucky, you only go through a painful break-up once or twice a lifetime. Here are a few tried and true ways to weather the emotional storm:
Reconnect With Your Support System
Nothing beats a long talk with a good friend or close family member. They can be your sounding board, a supportive voice when self-doubt creeps up on you,or just a reassuring hand on your shoulder. It’s nice to have someone to lean on when you feel your life is falling down around you. Maybe put together that Saturday night movie club or a gourmet dinner club.
Scream
That’s right, vocalize your hurt. Give it a voice - a shrill voice with lots of rage and expletives. Then when you have no voice left, break something. Then stomp on it. Then cry. Repeat as necessary.
Make A List
What were the good parts of the relationship? The bad parts? Put them into columns and take a good hard look. Learn anything? Does it tell you anything about qualities to look for in a mate next time around? It should.
Do Not Call Your Ex
Oh look! There’s your cell phone! Their number is on speed dial! You’re two thumb twitches away from (dumb de dumb dumb) telling them exactly how they ruined your life. STOPPP! Do not call your ex! Delete him or her from your contacts list on all your phones. Write off any belongings you still have at his/her pad. Cut the cord and buy a journal…or some shoes…or something. Just, whatever you do, don’t call. It’ll just slow down your recovery. Consider making this pact with yourself.
The “No Contact” Contract: I hereby pledge that I will not prolong my anguish by attempting to contacting my ex or to orchestrate any elaborate “accidental” meeting with him or her. My healing has now begun and I will avoid re-opening those wounds like I would avoid a bear trap in the woods. I promise that, by “contacting my ex” I mean every single form of communication from IM, to chat boards, to friends passing messages, to sending smoke signals from yonder mountain. I will not call or write, I will not try to reach him/her through the spirit world, and I will not think about my ex. Okay, I probably will think about my ex… quite a bit in fact. But I promise that this phenomenon will diminish over time. Signed: (Your Name Here) __________________________________ Dated: (Today’s Date Here) _________________________________
Avoid The Rebound Trap
Take some time to be alone and let your heart recover from the blow. Try to resist the urge to treat the wounds of old love with the anesthetic of new love. What your wounds need is oxygen. Use the time to reflect on what was good and bad with the relationship and what you want out of the next relationship.
Shake It Up
Try a new thing. Is there something you’ve always want to try but didn’t? Better yet, pick something your ex NEVER wanted to try (or never would try). It’ll take your mind off things, reintroduce fun into your life and help you break unproductive thought patters.
Run, Run, Run Away
We don’t mean permanently. Maybe just for a few days. Is there someplace you’ve been aching to explore? Sometimes travel helps you gain a distance and perspective from problems that’s otherwise hard to get. A massage couldn’t hurt either.
Try Retail Therapy
If you’re a guy, perhaps a new gadget will help you fill the void for a week or so. If you’re a woman, well, you know what to do.
Adopt a Pet
Hey, don’t laugh. Animals are excellent grief counselors. They don’t offer unhelpful advice designed to make themselves more important. They don’t secretly roll their eyes at you when you tell them what went wrong for the billionth time (as far as we know). Plus, they tend to keep their eye on the big picture. You know, food, water, pooping. There’s a lesson there.
Work Out
Kickboxing anyone? Hgh-impact workouts are a great post-break-up release. Anything that allows you to use your anger in positive ways is good. Heck, tape a picture of your ex on a speed bag and go at it. Working out also helps you avoid other ruts like over-eating, drinking too much, or channel flipping until your thumb gets carpel tunnel. Or try Gabby Reese & Sheryl Crow’s six-week plan to better health and strength.
Go Ahead and Read "Those Books"
Skim your way to emotional well being. It’s okay, nobody will judge you. Especially if you keep strangely titled books like "Be The Powerful You," or "Good Riddance, I Miss You" safely hidden in the wall safe behind the framed Monet poster. There’s good advice in there.
Get Back In the Saddle
After some time has passed, take a break from self-pity and grab a cup-a-joe with a stranger. Start by definitely NOT trying to find “the one” again. Not ready? Maybe even you just browse the online dating sites… It couldn’t hurt.
I know, I know. What’s the point, right? I myself often wonder that same thing. I mean, what’s the use of going to the trouble of finding someone who’ll probably end up breaking my heart one way or another? Just why do we give everything to someone, when only pain comes in return? Why wait for something that might never come? The answer is “love”. Love truly does conquer all.
Imagine this: Somewhere in the world there is this amazing person walking around who is completely unaware that you exist and that you both are destined to be together. That person is attractive, smart, fun loving, and has an exquisite sense of humanity. Once you meet that person, you will feel as if you’ve been waiting all your life to meet them.
2007-01-15 10:27:35 · answer #4 · answered by Dorothy and Toto 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if your friend and this guy are already pretty close. i'd just suggest you back off. No need to lose a friend over a guy that could be off the scene in a few weeks.
2007-01-15 10:27:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if they guys more important than the friend... see u gotta choose. friend or dude who may reject u? (sry, truth thing goin on here) dont ruin a friendship over a guy. get over the guy, or get over the friend. thats the prob wit love, u gotta choose things. wait till the tru luv, then mess things up =]
2007-01-15 10:29:29 · answer #6 · answered by TillyWilly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to love, there are no friends. It's whoever get there first and you should hurry up and ask him for you first. ANd let him know how you feel. Your gf will get over it. SO go for it first come first serve.
2007-01-15 10:29:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fri st...... Go back to school and learn to spell. Just move on fighting over a guy is stupid.
2007-01-15 10:27:34 · answer #8 · answered by railroad_joe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if shes a real friend then she will understand because ive been in a similar situation. so just talk to her about it.
2007-01-15 10:29:59 · answer #9 · answered by C S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friendship is friendship... forget about it and get a girlfriend
2007-01-15 10:27:48 · answer #10 · answered by Isaac M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋