http://urbis.com/media/view/55343/modern-mind
2007-01-15 09:54:45 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
I sense a lot of feeling in this poem it is very good indeed.. if you fixed it up a little bit it would be good enough to publish.. try looking at books at the library that have poetry trying looking at the different styles.. When writing a poem though you need to keep on style if you are going to rhyme line after line rhyme line after line if you are going to rhyme every two lines then do that it makes the poem essentially better.. :) Also.. I would erase the so I'm saying parts and leave the rest.. that would help it too
2007-01-15 10:01:36 · answer #1 · answered by godsgirl200718 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son was listening to rap and as I read your poem the words went right along with the rythmn; you could get it published. I liked it because you were saying what your feelings of confusion are. I could relate to all of those feelings. And that means you are a good communicator.
But I wonder if you want the confusion to end? The fog of confusion comes about in our minds and hearts a lot of different ways. One way to end it is to get some real and valid points to go by all the time.
They become your anchor. The waves may still lap overtop of your life, but your anchor of hope shared by you and your lady, become the way you sort out everything. Read the Bible, go to a study group, and find a lady who does too. Then your poetry will be even more dynamic. You'll have new answers! And knowing your talent, you'll know how to tell it other people.
2007-01-15 18:08:43 · answer #2 · answered by QueryJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to submit the poem, make sure you go back through and fix the spelling errors. Also, it's more of a paragraph than a poem....
Just work on it a little more and then just submit it to places. Why not just go for it?
2007-01-15 18:26:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Jean! I though it would make a great rap! You need to study other poetry and poetry formats to write great poems...
2007-01-15 18:26:34 · answer #4 · answered by Ralph 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. it needs multiple revisions.
keep writing. your craft will get better with time and practice.
take some creative writing and poetry classes at college.
2007-01-15 18:04:07 · answer #5 · answered by Dreaux~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO Try this one ROSES ARE VIOLETS ARE BLUE YOUR POEM STINKS AND SO DO YOU
2007-01-15 17:59:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I didn't really enjoy it, sorry.
2007-01-15 18:00:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOT AT ALL
2007-01-15 17:58:09 · answer #8 · answered by Abhi S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋