married ladies is this weird what do you think of this,men please give you opinion too?

Question

my husband and i have been married 3 mons and dating for 5yrs.he has been divorced for 6yrs from his 1st wife but still listed in the phone book with her as her husband.also if i look up any sites on line(anywho,yahoo people seach ect)he is still listed with her at their old address(where she still lives).my husband is not bothered by this at all.i have asked him to have his exwife fix this(as he told me only she can)and he always says whats the big deal everyone knows where i live.after 3 yrs of us arguing over this he said he asked her to fix it.well its still not fixed.now heres where it gets even weirder he is dead set against about being in the phone book with me.he has come up with 100 reasons but none of them make any sence.so tell me why could he care less about being listed on the internet,phonebook with his exwife but makes a fit when i want to list us together?i know its not that he still loves her as he left her and he may just be scaried to ask her as she is very nasty

but that does not explain why he is dead set about us being listed together.and yes his exwife knows he married me

should i just let this go as this does seem like a little thing to agrue over

Answer 1

Sounds suspicious to me. Are you sure his 1st divorce was final? These days you never know. I hope you don't have a nasty surprise waiting for you. Good luck and may trust grow between you. (Or may you find something better if he's not true.)

Answer 2

Is your husband the kind of man who takes the path of least resistance? Does he mention things that are bothering him, or does he hold it all inside and/or withdraw from even small conflicts with you or others? If he is the kind of man who "rides the wave" instead of making hands-on changes in his life, then his decision not to confront his ex-wife OR be listed with you just means he doesn't see any reason to disrupt his life as it currently exists. I would suggest that you try not to take it too personally. After a while, it won't matter. What DOES matter is how he treats you and if he makes you feel loved and supported in other ways. The phonebook thing is just an errand.

Answer 3

First of all, especially on the internet, those are not updated very frequently. I looked myself once on the white pages online and I was on at an address I had like 5 years ago. As far as him not caring about being listed with her, maybe he jsut doesn't want to deal with the drama. As to why he doesn't want to be listed with you, that's really strange. I have no idea. You should point out the two points to him and ask him.

Answer 4

I'm thinking that he is scared to ask her to change all of the info since you said she is a nasty person. or maybe not scared but he just doesn't want to deal with her anymore so he just lets it go.
but the thing about you two getting listed together would bother me too. this is a big deal just because hey...he did it with her, why cant he do it with you as well?
you need to be more firm about the situation with him. tell him how much this bothers you and that you don't want people thinking that the two of them are still together. also if he is just too lazy to change it let him know that you will take it into your own hands for him and change it yourself.

Answer 5

Yes, he is correct in telling you that only she can fix it. And, the first thought that comes to mind..is does she know that he remarried...(you answered yes) Next, thing is ... maybe he doesn' want her name to appear alone..as she may appear single to others??? Heck..I really don't know...Or ..maybe he thinks it shows that he still lives there.and there is some tax write off thingy?? Just brainstormin' here.. BUT...I AGREE it should not be with her name and you 2 should be listed together. I will say my name is listed in the phone book and not my hubby's. He's never minded though....WEll good luck.

Purple drama is right..he may not of moved on emotionally.

Answer 6

Youre correct in thinking this as weird. My gut instinct tells me to tell you to check about his first divorce,like see his divorce papers, etc.. This wont be the first time something like this has happened so check it out especially since he cant seem to be able to confront his ex over something as trivial as this. If theyre divorced then it doesnt matter how nasty she gets, but something is very wrong here. If Im wrong I apologize

Answer 7

OK, the whole, her still listing their names together, let it go. Sounds like she is holding on to the past. He's moved on with you, so let it go. HOWEVER, I do think it's strange he won't list his name with yours. You might ask him what was said in the little "chat" they had, that might be preventing him from switching it over. And not to upset you, but just because he left her and married you, doesn't mean he's moved on either!

Answer 8

I think you should focus on the positive things about your relationship and don't let minor things bother you.
Men are not that focused on little details as much as in more important stuff.
If he is a good husband and respects you, enjoy it and don't let anything else get in the way of your marriage.
Good luck

Answer 9

Well from a mans point of view...I have no idea why he wouldn't want to be listed with you.... unless he has poor credit and has bill collectors chasing him. Who cares if she's nasty...I think he can take his name off of hers without her say so.And he should!! He's not with her in person and shouldn't be with her in the phone book either!!! He should be with his present wife in the phonebook.unless he's a wanted fugitive.

Answer 10

Sounds like he doesn't want people to know how to contact him (by putting his name in the phone book.) If they call his ex, she can say they got the wrong number. I would be suspicious that your new hubbie is diddling on the side. But heck, I'm a P.I., what do I know?