I know its long, but plz help.?

Question

I need some advice..Please dont be rude...I cant handle it at the moment. Ok..here is the story. when I first found out I was pregnant my baby's dad and I had been broken up...we fought off and on like crazy for 4 months...things leveled out and we got back together..We moved in together and things were going great. Now, currently 30 weeks pregnant...my guy and I broke up..again (he dumped me..again)...I moved out and now he is doing EXACTLY what he did last time we broke up...Treating me like I dont exist..talking to other girls ...we have only been broken up for a week and he is just being soo rude. Its hard to get over him completely..because I am carrying his child. We broke up cuz for almost a week straight we kept nit-picking at one another about dumb stuff..then it would explode into this big deal. I am soo aggrivated. Why is he treating me like I dont matter and how can he just blow me off? I know I need to move on...for my baby's sake and blah blah blah..but just from

caring about someone...what do you guys think is going on...and what would you do..really put yourself in my shoes..dont just say O dump him..cuz feelings are involved. Please...be considerate...I really love this guy...when he isnt being a jerk. He told me last night..I love you..but I dont want to be with you right now as a relationship just cuz you hurt me and I am done..but rather than showing he is hurt..he is just being RUDE...he told me after our baby is born that we would be talking about her a lot..so he was sure we would prolly work things out..just not right now...whats the freaking deal? Is he just running from responsibilities or what? HELP.

Answer 1

This guy is being manipulative and mean to you. Please, please, please get out now. Go file papers to make sure he has to pay child support.

Think of all the pain he's caused you. Do you want your child to experience the same thing? "Daddy kicked us out," "Daddy wants us back," oh wait, "Daddy has a new girlfriend," etc.

He is not in love with you and does not want to be in a committed relationship with you. He does not want to be a consistent part of your life, or the baby's life. HE THREW YOU OUT AT 30 WEEKS!! That should be enough to tell you the kind of guy he is!

It's the hardest thing you'll ever have to do, but also the smartest. Please leave him.

Answer 2

I feel really bad for you, and I have been single and pregnant and dealing with an immature guy as well. Here is the thing - YOU cannot do anything. He does not seem to want this situation that he has a great deal of responsibility in. You cannot control him and if you take him back you will live in fear of him leaving you again. He is immature. Think of how you will look to your baby if you put up with this - if she could see you. You will be her role model so show her that you are a strong woman! You can do this without him (though he will have to pay support) and any girl that would date a guy like this (who has a pregnant girl that he is treating badly) will leave him - and that is when he will come back to you. Just be done with it. Get a good therapist that you can talk to about these issues. Just because you are having a baby together does not make you the perfect family when you are together. Keep your focus on being a great mom and eventually finding the right guy for you! You will believe me, as long as you don't settle!

Answer 3

Yeah that's what he's doing, he's staying away from you and the UN born baby. if u love him stay with him if he let's you. Trouble is he's not there is he. Get a DNA test done and get child support
you said you love him, OK you can love him, truth is this, is he acting like he loves you? He said he loves you but, he seems not to want to be around you right now. Well love has no time barrier. Real Love is always. Try to do yourself a favor, and realize he's not in love with you. Move on and get a good education a good job, get child support and do good. The best revenge is to live good. U are not the only woman to go through this. millions have. Over come it. I'm so mad right now i can't even type good. Oh and he said after the baby is born he might come back. No i would tell him you can't come back and get a job fool, cause you're gonna need one once the DNA test comes back. My son had been with a girl years ago they were together for five years, she got pregnant then my son fell for another girl and didn't want the pregnant one anymore. After the baby was born he had to get a job to pay child support they have gone their separate ways now and the baby is now 16 . Please don't get pregnant again without good planning. I don't know why but your question really touched me.

Answer 4

What men in general do not understand is the hormone imbalance that comes with pregnancy. I have been married to the love of my life for 3 years and with this baby we almost got a divorce. I was so emotional all of the time, we were both stressed, and we argued a lot. I got proactive and talked to my doctor about the possibility that I was depressed and they diagnosed me as such. They put me on an antidepressant and lo and behold, the fighting mellowed out. Now, I am not saying that this is the case with you and your boyfriend.
Now, as far as the manipulation, it is not ok. You need to stand up and say that to him. If he has the respect for you that he should as the mother of his child, then at the very least he should not tell you about the other girls and only try to be supportive to you. For your part, you are having a baby. Try not to stress ( I know that is easier said than done) and grow your baby. I hope things work out for you.

Answer 5

I am sure this is hard, but you have to respect the fact he does not want to be there and just try to communicate and stay on good grounds for the baby's sake. Just because you love him does not mean you should be with him, if does not seem like you guys are on the same page right now at all. Give it some time and if he is for you it will work itself out. Don't push him and give your self some space to try and heal. Most men don't really handle emotions well so he acting childish right now. You have to be the bigger person. I wish you the best of luck and keep you head up for your blessing that is on the way :-) smile

Answer 6

Here's the absolute best advice I can give you: The only person's behavior you can control is your own. Someone cannot fight with you if you don't fight back. Resolve that you won't yell, won't be petty, won't be vindictive, and won't be a victim. Don't put off filing for child support because you don't want him to be mad, chid support is something your child is legally entitled to. Resolve that you won't feel guilty about taking him to court because he promises that he will give you money for anything you need for the baby. Child support is based on a mathmatical formula that ensures a minimum level that he must pay, if he chooses to give more that will be wonderful. If you get back together then you don't have to enforce it, but get the legal order as soon as your baby is born. Having the money paid through a system rather than directly to you takes the emotion out of it.

Answer 7

Wow,.............. Well, I would say dump him, but that is me and I am not pregnant with his baby. But, my friend had this guy she liked, he liked her, it didn't work out blahblahblah, so now he treats her like crap and when he was drunk he told me he is mean to her because he likes her A LOT still and he wants her to move on so that way she will ignore him and he will no longer be interested. Yeah, I know it's confusing and sounds like a soap opera. But he figured it was better off for both of them if they weren't together and the only way he could do it was by being an A** to her. Maybe the same thing is happening here. He loves you, you love him but you both cause too much pain for one another for it to work, (or work at this time anyway) so you would both be better off away from one another till you really have everything together for it to work.
Bottom Line is its a mess so dump him!
Okay, sorry that was way too long and confusing. Good Luck!

Answer 8

Well, I understand your predicament. I have been in the same spot once, last year. I was pregnant w/ my boyfriends baby & he broke up with me a couple of days before i was to have it. It tore me up! I had a miscarriage & lost the love of my life. He actually started seeing someone..so that was horrible for me. A few days after it all, he came to his senses & told me he was scared about the whole thing, being a father & not having money, you know. So really, i think your 'ex' boyfriend is just SCARED...and it could be the whole responsibility thing too..cause that is A LOT of responsibility, but if you guys really love eachother i think he will come around..guys can be a**holes...but he will realize what he has lost & come back to you.

Answer 9

honestly it sounds like he just wants to do his thing right now, then he thinks he can just jump back in to being th egood guy when the baby is born. i know you don't want to hear it but don't give him that chance or go back when the baby is born (it will only be good for a little while) i was in your shoes i know exactly what your talking about but just to let you know i went into labor early when me and my bf broke up b/c i was so upset and stressed so be careful he honestly has no respect for you or your child if he wants to be like this now. you or the baby don't need it or deserve it regardless of what he says or does.
one of the best things i learned just recently is that you can love someone and not be with them, i know its hard and it will take awhile to get used to but honestly if its happened before and it is happening now (so close to due date) then it will continue to happen and trust me you don't want your baby (the innocent being) growing up in that kind of atmosphere, it will be hard but it will be better for you and the baby in the long run. i'm not saying move on and get over him b/c it is nothing like that, be by yourself or with family (you don't need him no matter how much you think you do right now) concentrate on your life and your future and now your child's future, he/she deserves the best and being born into bad relationship won't help unless you prove yourself stronger.
why would you want ot get back with him after the baby if he's been with other people? why not set yourself higher standards for you and your child.
guys can do a lot not only physically but emotionally be stronger, and smarter you have someone else to think about now, it doesn't matter what he does or says you and your child don't need him and the sooner you let go the sooner you will learn (that he is a waste of time) you deserve better (he can't even treat you right when your 30 weeks pg)

Answer 10

First of all, the guy didn't want to be with you but he didn't want to tell you that directly. Then you two got back together and you got pregnant. He is going through a lot of things right now and that doesn't excuse his actions but you have to listen to what he has told you. He's told you he didn't want to be with you right now. So, you have to accept that. Yes, you can be hurt and miss him but you need to give him space....if you want him back. And secondly, you need to take care of you and your baby. And maybe it's a good thing that he's gone because you won't be sad and depressed and dealing with all his rudeness. He's being rude because he didn't want you two to be together and now he's going to have to deal with you for the next 20 something years - unless he decides to leave you alone forever. So, accept that he's not going to be a part of your life and pregnancy. Take care of yourself and your baby by eating right, exercising and going to the doctor for checkups. Stress can seriously affect your unborn child and you don't want to do anything that will harm him/her. You're not the first or last woman who's baby daddy didn't want to be with her. Find strength in that and live a life that you can raise your daughter in a successful and loving environment. You are going to be responsible for everything that your child becomes and you are going to have to prepare yourself to provide her with all the love, attention, education, and responsibility that you can! I believe that you love this man but in reality this isn't a good relationship to be in because he doesn't respect you and you don't love yourself enough to believe that you deserve better. Get it together because you don't want to pass these traits you have right now down to your daughter. Good luck.

Answer 11

You say that you don't want to hear dump him...but in reading what he is doing to you...you need to move on. It is not healthy for you or your unborn baby to be fretting what this idiot is doing. He's done it to you twice now...he's going to keep doing it. Move on...you can still have contact with him becaseu he is your baby's daddy. IF you feel strongly about trying again...go and talk to a counsellor. Go to counselling together.