Both my husband and I are in the military. We've been married for a year now but only spent 4 weeks together. He'll finally be stationed with me as of Wednesday. We love each other to death but I know that we'll have to get used to each other again. Can anyone tell me what to expect when he gets here and we start living together? Is it true that the first year TOGETHER is the hardest and why?
2007-01-15 08:30:53 · 9 answers · asked by K9Girl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The first year is likely to be the most passionate, and every year is likely to seem the hardest (at times).
The only sure expectation is the unexpected.
Life responds to fears, joys, tears, as it is fed by our attitude to it.
Let your apprehensions be exciting and vibrant.
It takes a lot of growing in a house to make a home
2007-01-18 22:08:33 · answer #1 · answered by tillermantony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, well, to couch this in military terms... you have to set up your "Rules of Engagement." With every person, there are buttons that should not be pushed and some that need pushing. Living together as man and wife will cause some of both types to be pushed.. it's inevitable. HOW you both react to those hot spots will determine how easily you resolve problems and come to terms with your compromises. Both of you should keep firmly in mind that NO ONE is keeping score, this is real life and you are both on the same team. Marriage is a case of watching one another's backs and being there for each other through thick and thin. When he is down, you comfort him, and when you are down, he does the same. PLEASE, neither of you make the mistake of thinking that because he (or she) loves you, they can read your mind. Not gonna happen. If there is something you like that he does, let him know. He will be more likely to repeat the behavior. If there is something he does that you don't like, let him know in a non-confrontational manner. Blame is not a good thing in a marriage. This man is supposed to be the most special person in your life, treat him that way. Spoil him a little, but he should do the same for you. In order to keep your marriage in balance, you must both be giving to the other what they need and what they want... with love.
One other thing, try very hard to NEVER go to bed mad... it's really not a good thing. Oh, and if you get mad, don't withhold sex... you're punishing yourself when you do that. Making love is definitely a part of marriage that should take place often and be done extremely well and with much love.
Good luck!! :)
2007-01-15 16:44:59 · answer #2 · answered by Peanut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a coincidence!!! My husband and I are in the military also. We are reserves to finish college & to become officers. Anyways we have been married for 8 months and we have experienced some hard times, but more good. So I do somewhat agree with that saying. Please don't expect a fairy tale & a happily ever after. Don't expect anything. Take it one day after another. And communication is the gold key to any relationship.
2007-01-15 16:46:27 · answer #3 · answered by STARS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unless u have previously lived together then yes the first year is always the hardest......each of u must get used to the way the other one does things....expect S E X and lots of it (sorry but I am hoping u were looking for honestly here)
2007-01-15 16:35:53 · answer #4 · answered by sunbun 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's the honeymoon phase. the one when you are getting to know what each other is like to live with.
IF you keep an open mind, and remember your love, I'm sure it will be just fine.
Good luck and many happy "love sessions".
2007-01-15 16:39:06 · answer #5 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably the most noticable thing is.. your use to being without him, and he's use to being without you... so you will both have your own way of doing things, your both independent, etc. It won't take long to re-adjust though! It'll be like you were never seperated to begin with!
2007-01-15 16:38:11 · answer #6 · answered by CEP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage requires patience, forgiveness & WORK from both...
There are lots of little things that you will discover that you may
not like...
Communication and consideration is the key...
Don't forget to be feminine & submissive as his wife..
2007-01-15 16:38:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take it as it comes. Leave your expectations behind.
2007-01-15 16:36:30 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its the easiest
2007-01-15 16:42:11 · answer #9 · answered by tinkerbell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋