He has been very irritable lately. He has become abusive. I told him to stop it or he can go home to his mommy & daddy. I also told him that I am not speaking to him right now.
2007-01-15 08:25:48 · 33 answers · asked by Sweet 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Putdowns are about the most penetrating weapons of abuse on all levels of growth.
Good For You sticking up for yourself.
Whats the matter with him ?
Tell him to grow up or you will call supernanny
2007-01-18 22:14:28 · answer #1 · answered by tillermantony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I looked at your old question from a couple months ago about him wanting to see other people, and I have to wonder if he has gone ahead and decided to do that despite not having your permission.
By suddenly acting like a jerk, he might be trying to tear you down so that YOU will leave HIM, and he can concentrate on the other woman (or women).
Or maybe he feels so "powerful" having a wife at home and a girlfriend on the side that his male ego is in overdrive and he thinks he can do or say anything he wants cause he's hot sh*t.
Maybe he and the girlfriend are fighting or broke up (maybe it was because of you) and now he is taking it out on you.
Regardless of the reason, this is wrong and dangerous. I would get some help to try and put as much distance between the two of you as possible before his abusive behavior goes to the next level. Once you are in a safe place ( with friends or relatives), you can arrange to have supervised discussions with him. Don't try to approach him when it's just the two of you home alone. You never know what someone is capable of.
2007-01-23 04:29:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is abuse. your husband is guilty of spousal abuse and if you are not doing this to him...are you? then he is only going to keep doing this and worse. I used a few choice words on my wife and know i know i was a fool for doing this. i ended up in a lot of trouble and embarrassment but thank God I saw the light and do not do this anymore. At the time I thought I was right and did not know how this hurt her. Guys are different and usually call each other bad names and they probably think its OK to call their loved ones the same way. Or maybe your husband observed his parents doing this..abusers sometimes were victims of abuse.
whatever the reason if you don't see some improvement soon get some professional help as this abuse probably will only get worse. by the way..not speaking to him ...that may be what he wants in the first place..he may be enjoying the silence..go figure.
2007-01-20 16:36:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not speaking is not going to help.
But something has changed and it has upset him.
From what you have said he was not abusive before, but now is. Is that verbal or physical.
Sounds like it finally got to the point where he was not going to just "let it go" anymore and is now attacking back.
Better talk. Better find out what has happened that has set him off.
And if it is something that has changed with you don't get upset. He sounds like he's REacting to a change or to activities that have been going on for some time but that he has let "pass" as not worth fighting about. Now he's escalated to insulting to get make a point.
Find out what it is.
If he tells you the turth don't get mad, see what can be done to correct the problem.
2007-01-15 08:35:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is having an affair and he wants an excuse for you to throw him out. He would feel guilty if he just left on his own. Name calling is a form of abuse. You are doing right by not speaking to him. If the situation gets really out of hand go to a family members house or to a shelter and get some help. Good-Luck.
2007-01-15 08:36:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would laugh it off and say "Yeah okay little dick!" See how he likes it when you throw it back at him. As a man I can tell you that we love to talk tough! But we have very delicate egos underneath our armor plating! I guarantee that you calling him "little dick" or "spare tire" or "Al Bundy" will cut a lot deeper than him calling you "punk" or "stupid" or "slob". Sounds childish, but it sounds like he could use a dose of his own medicine. But the more you take it from him, the more it encourages him to keep dishing it out. DON'T give him the power!
2007-01-23 03:56:52 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt put up with this,and you dont have to.I have 7 sisters,and every one of them have had an abusive boyfriend.2 of them are in a relationship still with their abusive boyfriends,even though they get the crap beaten out of them.It only gets worse,believe me.You dont want it to go any farther,a man never has the right to abuse a woman.One of my sisters has let it go so far,that her boyfriend at the time beat her with a cord,and left marks from it.I've witnessed 2 of my sisters get abused,and its really hard to watch.Especially since I'm not even 16 yet.I was 15 and one time I was 13 or 14.I didnt have any option but to step up to this guy the first time,and when me and him were face to face my sister stepped in between.He pulled her down by her hair and told me to call the cops.As I tried to go,her boyfriend grabbed my arm(Even though I was holding his son!),and tried to keep me from going to the neighbors.My sister let her 2 daughters and son see her get beat,which will always leave them with bad memories,which isnt healthy for them.You may not have kids now,but just think about when you do,he'll still be abusing you,dont stand for it.Get out of the relationship and find a REAL man who dont feel the need to hit you.Some body who wont call you stupid,but a guy who will tell you your perfect just the way you are.
*ANSWER MY QUESTIONS PLEASE!*
2007-01-23 06:39:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Sweet,
Right now, this man is not able to understand the Golden Rule and it's possible that he never will. One day soon he will hurt you with more than words. Don't put children into the mix. The man has major problems that you cannot fix by yourself. You might try counseling for a bit to see if it helps, but don't allow this situation to continue without finding some help soon. If he does not improve....GET OUT. He will kill your self esteem and quite possibly his behavior might escalate to killing you. Without some outside help, you have a lose/lose situation. Praying for you, Sweet, get moving!!
2007-01-15 08:32:41 · answer #8 · answered by Peanut 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it right back to him, hey it takes one to know one. Oh hell no, abusive, either verbal or physical, no one deserves it. Yeah, send him home to his mommy and daddy and you go on with your life. Some will say "oh he might have something on his mind", but what in your life together, every time he has something on his mind he has to attack you, Hell No, don't be a sitting duck for abuse, there is always someone out there who will treat your better and then there is also someone out there who will treat you worst (this we hope not), but to sit and stew in crap, it isn't worth it. God Bless.
2007-01-20 21:29:18 · answer #9 · answered by Bethy4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's verbal abuse. No one should speak to you that way, especially not your husband!! I would be extremely upset and let him know that that's not acceptable!! If you don't let him know earlier in this relationship, he'll think it's okay. I don't know your circumstance, however my mother has always said.... "Make certain you always look your best especially once married. Too many women allow themselves to go once they marry.... unfortunately, the husbands begin to regret who they married because they feel like they've married a whole different person!"
2007-01-22 19:06:24 · answer #10 · answered by Excited Bride 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋