My husband acussed me of cheating on him 6months ago. He said he had 3 people that told him i cheateded. I have never cheated in the 20yrs i have been with him. We sorted things out as I thought but have found out resently that he has been to a lawyer and raised a divorce case. I spoke to him about it and he said his lawyer had to make the case divorce so he could get thease 3 people in to take statements. My husband said if they dont turn up this will prove that they are telling lies. He said he has every faith that they wont and this will prove 2 everyone im telling the truth. Im so hurt and upset that he has done this without telling me and its a divorce case. I only found out by accident. He said that he will drop the case when thease 3 people are found 2 be telling lies. I dont no what 2 do , iv been in tears since I found out what he has been up2 .Do I trust him! ? Please can someone give me some advice. What would You do if you where in my shoes?
2007-01-15 08:23:40 · 19 answers · asked by flower 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
doesn't sound like he is being honest with you. Sounds like he may be trying to deal with his own guilt. You might want to contact an attorney yourself for a consultation.
2007-01-15 08:29:22 · answer #1 · answered by phonedoc22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously he doesn't trust you...so why should you trust him? If he went behind your back and did this, who knows what else he is doing. It is very wrong that he couldn't feel that he could come talk to you about all this. I don't know if there is something you did that made him think you cheated, but I know the frustration of being accused of lying when in fact you are not. It hurts a lot, and for him to think he has to get a lawyer to get the truth just makes things that much harder. There is a major communication breakdown here, and I know you probably have heard this before, but if you really want to save your marriage, counseling might be the only way. I do wish you luck hon.
2007-01-15 08:30:23 · answer #2 · answered by icequeen406 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand back, be patient, and let this run its course. If you are indeed innocnet here then you have nothing to fear. When all is said and done, and youre proven innocent then its your turn. Revenge of a woman scourned. You will own him forever or you can give him a taste of his own medicine and tell him due to recent accusations about you from him, you feel that you can no longer trust him and want out and are going to sue his a.s off in divorce court unless he prints a rebuttal in the paper clearing your good name. If youre strong enough, you can have a field day with this one. He will treat you like a Queen once hes made a a.s out of himself. Dont worry about any thing here. Its up to you as to what to do here. Good luck
2007-01-15 08:34:30 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough call, many things contribute to this and without knowing the full circumstances I'll try to answer the best I can. I think you need to talk to him and find out why he has to go behind your back and do this and why he feels it necessary to do this to prove to everyone that you didn't cheat. I feel that him believing in you should be enough. The most imprtant hing I can say to you is to stay strong and do what your heart tells you to!! Just talk to him and find out why he is doing this and what he really feels about the situation. Then explain to him how much this hurts you. I wish you the best.
2007-01-15 08:31:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't tell you what you should do but I can tell you that in my experience, how ever little that may be, that the person in a relationship that is accusing the other of cheating in usually the party actually perpetrating the act. That's the way it went in my 11 year marriage. So maybe you should do some checking up of your own
2007-01-15 08:29:55 · answer #5 · answered by shy_wy_redneckgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, pretty low of him. if he went to a divorce lawyer without you knowing, and if he is seeing a divorce lawyer there seems to be something wrong with either him or your marriage.
Somehow this doesn't look like it's only about this incident and he might be just trying to put off telling you that he wants a divorce anyway
2007-01-15 08:31:59 · answer #6 · answered by webby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety, It sounds to me your husband is doing all he can to dump you!
NO one starts divorce proceedings and not really intending to go through with it.
He's probably the one who has cheated, and found someone new.
Sence you have now found out what he is up to, I strongly advise you to get your own lawyer NOW!
He's making you look like a fool and letting you believe his dumb assed tales! GET an attorney! He's going to dump you and take everything he can from you...........don't allow him this advantage.
2007-01-15 08:29:50 · answer #7 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you really haven't cheated.. what are you worrying about?
if your worried about getting caught then there is much you can do..
but if you haven't.. then maybe he's just looking for another excuse to get a divorce.. maybe its for the best.. why would you want to be with someone who is constantly accusing you of cheating its not a good life.. i've been there before.. its not worth it in the end
2007-01-15 08:30:19 · answer #8 · answered by steph 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on who these people are, he may be doing the right thing. These people are spreading lies about you and your husband is shutting them up. In his own way he may be fighting for your honor.
However, lawyers are tricky sobs so I would be tempted to hire one myself just to make sure my rights were protected.
2007-01-15 08:54:53 · answer #9 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he is looking for a way out. Usually when someone is accusing you so much it is He who is cheating and wants to upset you so you won't find out.
2007-01-15 08:30:28 · answer #10 · answered by sexyladyinak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋