My wife and I got married about a year ago and we started out very strong. We fell deeply in love and neither of us really ever had that feeling with another human being before. Over the course of the year, we started falling back on old patterns of behaving and started seeing negative in each other and started nit picking each other. We also started fighting a lot over control issues (money, blending the children issues, ex. issues, in laws). It seems that we both resorted to try and get control over the relationship and the deep love was replaced by controlling behavior and independent sometimes selfish motives. Now we’re trying to get back to respecting and loving each other again. It’s been a real roller coaster trying to get things back the way they used to be. Part of me wants that deep intimate in love feeling we used to have. I’m trying to look at all the arguing as part of a normal adjustment phase. We lost some respect for each other and are now trying to reinvent our marriage. Is arguing during the first year and losing some respect for your partner normal in adjusting to marriage? The more I think about it (even though the arguing seemed intense sometimes) I think it’s part of a marriage phase to fall in love, realize your partner isn’t perfect and things bug you, argue a lot, accept their faults, and then move toward cooperation. I was married before and never argued (I think that was our problem). Just need some folks to tell me if this is normal for the first year. We still love each other to death but issues after marriage were very hard to adjust to and it seems we made a lot of mistakes and disrespected each other a lot when arguing.
2007-01-15 08:17:14 · 6 answers · asked by survivor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think it's normal.
Making changes, seeing how far one can take control, all of these I feel are normal.
The love that brought you together is still there, it's just been put on the shelf, and all you have to do is bring it out, dust it off, and make it very useful and number one, once again!!
2007-01-15 08:25:53 · answer #1 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very normal but i sugest you need to learn to respect each other and love each other for who they are.... You both may need counseling as well to help you get through thuis stage of your marriage... Sometimes love is way more then a feeling it takes commitment and what you call forgiveness of each other faults as no one is perfect and agape type of love.... Hope this helps some and I wish you the best in your marriage. I am here if you need to talk as well.... I wish you both success and hope your marriage gets better again really soon.... Here is a great website at http://www.marriagetoday.org
2007-01-15 16:31:51 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My aunt and Uncle did that there first year or two and he finally started behaving himself and they are still married and happy twenty years later. Normal - yes ! Don't bring up the past in conversations or arguments keep the topic on the present and learn how to compromise. Maybe also decide to never raise your voice even if the other person does. Good Luck and stick to it. Remember how you felt in the beginning!
2007-01-15 16:31:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is 100% normal.Actually you are blessed because I see couples who after a month of marriage are pulling their hairs.Realize that marriage is wonderful, but it is hard because it's now a 2 in 1 deal and not all about you or not all about her.Hang in there and stand till death separates you.
2007-01-15 16:28:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe its normal. It sounds like you really want to make this work, and that is a good start. Just hang in there.
2007-01-15 16:31:35 · answer #5 · answered by Layla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes.. its normal... plz don't lose something so good for what u going through now... if its really bad, get help ... but dont lose it....
2007-01-15 16:22:56 · answer #6 · answered by Princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋