I don't what to do. I am not a citizen here. I married my husband a few years back. At first he was sweet kind, but slightly on the "macho" side. As time has has gone on he has become more and more controlling and physical with me. He 's gotton to the point that the house has to be perfect when he comes home, I have to do everything he says, I can never talk back or disobey him in anyway. If I fail to do any of the above he will either yell and scream, spank me like you would a small child (its very embarassing but oh my god does it hurt.....) or he will ground me and force me to stay in the house and take away the keys to the car, etc....... I'm afraid if I leave I'll be deported. How can I put up with this and cope untill I get my citizen ship and leave him???????
2007-01-15 07:36:17 · 14 answers · asked by Man of the house 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I should have my citizenship in about a year.
2007-01-15 07:36:42 · update #1
Marry me and I will get you one.
2007-01-15 07:39:52 · answer #1 · answered by DJB 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Is a citizenship worth you being treated like child for another year? Look at the way he treats you. He has no right to do that to you. He even hits you!!! I've been abused myself. I know how you feel. The only way you'll get deported is if he reports you, but a divorce will take while so by that time you might be eligable for a citizenship. Get out of this relationship and Good Luck. I Wish you Well.
2007-01-15 07:53:12 · answer #2 · answered by K9Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look at it this way: If it weren't for him, you wouldn't be here. If you don't want to be with him, you should go back where you came from. What did you think? That you would just come over, use him to get citizenship, then dump him?
It's sort of like a prostitute that wants the money (citizenship) but doesn't want to pay the price (getting along with her husband).
That said, were I in your shoes, I'd make a decision: Am I going to try to work this out (because I love him and want to stay with him)? Or am I going to leave?
If the latter - just pack your bags and get out.
If the former, you might try counseling.
I know if I ever married someone from another country, one condition would be that upon divorce, they must leave the country and never return OR pay me liquidated damages of $100,000 for infliction of emotional distress.
2007-01-15 07:40:15 · answer #3 · answered by A_Patriot 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry to here about your disrespectful control freak husband.
I'm not sure on the legal aspects of your case because I'm not sure about non citizenship in these matters. Look for a legal aid society or try your countries embassy to see if you can get pointed in the right direction. It sounds like your husband is using
you legal status as a shackle to hold you hostage. The abuse will probably get worse as your citizenship qualifications draw nearer. There has to be a limit as to how far he can take the abuse. You may just have to hunker down until he crosses the line. You need to find legal advise to know where that line is.
2007-01-15 08:19:01 · answer #4 · answered by Del C 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't put up with that crap for one second! You need to contact the police. Do you know that him spanking you without permission is assault? You are a human being and deserve to be treated better than you are. Separate from him and move away, stay married until you get your citizenship and then you are home free.
2007-01-15 07:40:21 · answer #5 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is an exception for people who are abused by US spouse to be able to stay in the country.
Have you gotten your permanent green card, not the conditional one? If so, you can get a divorce and still be able to stay. After a few years, you'll be able to get citizenship on your own without him.
2007-01-15 07:50:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Call the police. Deported is better than dead, and you won't be deported as long as he's in custody, or being kept away from you by court order. If you're a citizen in a year, divorce him and get away.
2007-01-15 07:41:05 · answer #7 · answered by loon_mallet_wielder 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you can show abuse, you can get citizenship even if you leave / divorce him. Start to gather evidence of abuse... call the police when he hits you, take photos etc. You can call the citizenship helpline at 1-800-375-5283 for more information about what you would need to prove abuse.
2007-01-15 09:17:08 · answer #8 · answered by growing inside 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Call the police or a crisis center to get away from your horrid husband. Hide from him and don't let him find you.
But if you get served with divorce papers, don't sign them until you get your citizenship!
Then take him for all he's worth. ;)
2007-01-15 07:49:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anne-Arky 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
story always told,american dream u started out with a sacrifice and guess u saw what u have seen ,if u want to continue hold up another year,never depend on some one in yor life ,depend on yourself,
2007-01-15 07:43:34 · answer #10 · answered by reifguy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go home if you can't take it!
OR put up with it for the time being until you gain citizenship!
Only two choices I see!
2007-01-15 07:40:09 · answer #11 · answered by me4tennessee 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋