TS question?

Question

I know that TV is nothing compared to the real world but I've been watching my soap that has introduced a transgendered mtf. Is the pain within yourselfs as real as what I'm watching? I feel so sorry for this actor that's pretending to be a TS. Please tell me that you don't feel that much emotional pain? That's just who you are & are meant to be. Don't ever feel ashamed. Is my soap portraying this mtf's pain realistically or is it just a TV show.

Answer 1

One of reasons there aren't accurate numbers for transpeople is because of the suicide rate, so yes it can be very tough. My parents wouldn't let me transition. During those miserable years, I almost killed myself a couple of times. I've suppressed a lot my childhood. I had hallucination's and almost ended up in a mental institution. Yes, the emotional pain can be very strong.

Answer 2

Despite anonymous girls words, Transgendered is considered a group category including Transvestite and Transsexual (also included under TG is other groups such drag queens and a few others).

This is an accepted definition. Just because she doesn't wanna be associated won't change the definition.

A TS person goes through a great deal more than a TV. They start to live the life of the gender their mind tells them they are.

I saw first hand, the hell my ex-bf went through (FtM). Being screamed at for being in the wrong bathroom, for instance (for both male and female bathrooms), the looks people gave him when they couldn't figure out if he was a guy or a girl, and a dozen other things.

They're suicide rate is far higher than just gay/lesbians, they have a MUCH harder time getting a job, until complete transition, they are rarely protected by normal anti-discrimination laws, and are beaten and killed at a vastly higher rate. I suspect the soap you watch is underplaying the hell they have to go through.

Still, to be who they really are, it's more important to go through the hell and be themselves than suffer with who they are not.

To consider the hell they go through, the ~ $100,000 in surgery costs (more for FtM), it's important to see this to realize how critical they view this transition to their proper gender.

Answer 3

Yes, this is who we are meant to be. No, that does not mean that we are necessarily happy after we make the transition. The emotional suffering I've gone through in my life has changed who I am as a person. It has made me stronger, but it has also made me weaker. People put us down every single day, calling us 'unnatural' or 'sinners'. The body I was born in makes me miserable. Everyone born the right gender takes their body for granted. I wish they wouldn't. They have no idea how lucky they are.

Answer 4

I don't know for sure, but I'll bet that although there is a lot of pain involved in this type of person, it may not always be that extreme. Remember that the shows are there to entertain and get people interested, so they over-dramatize things sometimes. But yeah, I'm sure being a TS or TG person, life is not any fun. Probably even worse than just a 'regular' gay person.

Answer 5

The pain is real, dear. Some handle it better than others. Even the strongest trans person has their weak moments, I've seen my partner go through plenty.

Answer 6

It can be very difficult because not only are you not excepted by straight folks but a good amount of the gay community will not except you either

Answer 7

I really can only speak for myself, but I'm an incrediblly happy TG. I dress when I can and love life fully. I have no problems with that side of my life, but suspect it may be due to maturity.

Answer 8

I am one of a handful of people who are offended because they call the character TS and TG interchangably. I will tell people right up that I am a transsexual and proud to NOT be a part of the TG community.

There are now TWO communities, thanks to how TSs have been abused and marginalized by TGs and LGBTs for years. The newly accepted definition of TG excludes TSs. TSs are now strong enough to stand alone and have their own community. TGs are part of the LGBT, TSs are part of the larger mainstream community.

TG comes from transgenderist, which was invented by a married, TS-hating, male transvestite. Now TG is used to mean all who are gender variant, and the TSs in my circle all claim that we are not gender-variant, but that true-TSs are gender conformists and only believe in two genders. So technically, if TG by definition refers to gender benders and gender non-conformists, TSs are excluded. TSs get the procedures they get in order to conform to mainstream society and be accepted as one of the existing genders, not trans-anything. A TG who is critical of TSs has said before that TS surgeries are designed to destroy one's transgenderness.

So those of us who are getting or who have SRS surgery, we prefer to be called transsexual, and not transgendered, and we prefer that term to only be used for us. Trans+ means to cross, and +sexual refers to the physical body. So that implies only 2 genders, and it implies surgery. To cross from one body configuration to another requires surgery. If you don't get the surgery, you haven't crossed sexes. We are not changing our gender. Gender refers to inborn brain wiring that cannot be changed. So calling us transgender would be inaccurate at best and insulting at worst.

So my friends use TG to refer to everyone but surgically intended/fulfilled TSs, and TS to refer strictly to those who need, or at least have a strong desire for, reassignment surgery. Of course, we do not draw the line at being able to get the surgery, only wanting it. If a person cannot afford the surgery or are too unhealthy to get it (eg., diabetes, heart disease, AIDS), then we would judge their TSness by their motives and intentions, not their ability. My particular group also opposes surgical elitism.

Oh, and one other point about the soap character that offends us. The character is also painted as gay. For TSs to truly have rights and to assimilate as mainstream (the goal of most TSs as opposed to most TGs), society needs to be made clear at EVERY possible opportunity, that TSs are not gay. Yes, a person can be gay and TS, but society cannot be trusted to know that at this point. If a person is transitioning fully to female with surgery, and they are attracted to males, they are a heterosexual female. If the same person were attracted to females, it is correct to call them a lesbian. Likewise, a female to male who likes women is straight, and a female to male who likes men is a gay man.

True-transsexuals generally have the most intense level of pain. They cannot be made content to be seen as gender variant, or as living in a non-traditional role. Inherent to being a true-TS is the need to be seen as a traditional member of which ever gender they see themselves. It is not enough for the TS to be a non-op, a transgenderist, or a feminized male, the only thing that will satisfy them is COMPLETE transition with surgeries. Such persons see transgendered persons as diminishing their plight. Comments to a true-TS that she is still a woman without surgery or should live an alternative lifestyle offer no comfort and are seen as insulting. Those of us in that category see our condition as a birth defect. We are not men who choose to become women (or become like women may be more accurate), but we are mainstream women with all the same characteristics as natal women who are striving to correct a physical birth defect. In some cases, handicap may be the better word. If you have the complete heart, mind, and soul of a woman, but are believed to originate from a male body, there is no way you can function, because others won't let you. You can pass as the gender of which you should pass, but once someone finds out your history, you are NEVER treated fully as a member of the gender you believe you are ever again. The TS need to be ALWAYS treated as the gender they believe themselves to be. The other gender categories tend to be more forgiving or ambivalent, since it is not really a need for them per se.

One other gripe is patronizing behavior. If you identify someone as TS, do not go up to them and pretend they are suffering moreso than they actually are and pretend you are their savior. Most TSs can see right through that. We tend to be intelligent and independent. What we need are not people to make things better for us or get in our way and fight for us, but mostly just friends who treat us like equals without trying to get into our gender business.