My dad recently passed away and my stepmom was rude as hell to me(she has always been mean to me) she didnt like my mom at all since they were both pregnant for the guy at the same time...that was like 22 years ago..why does she still hold that grudge towards me...ive always been scared of her....scared of what she thought of me but i dont care anymore. She told me not to start anything with her at my dads funeral and i was like why would i do that and she said cuz your the evil stepchild...does every stepmom think that their stepchildren are evil because they came out of someone that their man once loved and cared for...i dont understand...help
2007-01-15 07:20:52 · 12 answers · asked by LUCKYGIRL 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My real mom is a crack head so she took care of me all of my teen years...i swear i have no decent immediate family left
2007-01-15 07:29:29 · update #1
I always respected her she was nice to me in the taking care of me material things financially you know but when it comes just down to her attutude towards me it was rude...she does that with everyone but more so towards me she is just a plain out mean person, but on the inside she isnt i know that. At my dads funeral she told someone she had an image to uphold she couldnt show everyone that she was all warm and fuzzy inside...i dont know why she does this she would probably be better off letting everyone see her true colors instead of trying to intimidate everyone all the time....i dont know i was just hurt when i asked this question...but reassure you that i never treated her wrong...i was scared of her...did anything she wanted me to...i guess kind of like cinderella, she has 2 other sons with my father and they were treated better by her...not my father he treated us all equal..but i know something noone else does and i know i can go on im not saying i cant im strong thanks every1
2007-01-16 03:06:28 · update #2
thing is is that your stepmom has fear written all over her . She is afraid even know your dad is passed on she still sees you and do not want to share your dad with you.....Don't mind her .....just make sure when you get married you man will be entire yours. God Bless!
2007-01-15 07:31:55 · answer #1 · answered by Tellie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a step mother and I Love my step daughter even though she made me a grandmother before I was ready. My own two daughters are too young to be having babies, so I really wasn't ready for that. She's not married, and seems a little immature about some things, but I love her just the same. The only thing that really gets to me is that she and her daddy, my husband, seem to think that he did a better job of raising her than I did of raising my two girls. They are 13 and 16. No drugs, no pregnancies, straight A's, just having a hard time accepting his different concept of the way a house should be run.
I'm very sorry for your loss. And also for your real mom's bad influence.
How do you treat your step mom? Try stepping back and looking at the situation from an outsiders point of view and then try to change yourself toward your step mom, because you can only change yourself and not any body else.
If you don't plan to have any sort of relationship with you step mom anymore, I wouldn't worry about it.
2007-01-15 07:45:51 · answer #2 · answered by Angel L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say that its that, I think she is just a big baby about the whole thing, she has some sor of resentment towards you b/c you are the result of a love once shared by your dad and mom and she probably wishes that never happend. This is called childish, I dont know why some people act the way they act but they are out there. I have a step mom that I dont care for b/c she was always trying to turn my dad against me by lying on me every chance she got so I stopped visiting my dad b/c he couldnt see what she was doing and didn't believe me when I told him, so there are just going to be people like that and there's nothing we can do about it but be the bigger people and walk away and let them be.
2007-01-15 07:26:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
my dads girlfriend was the same way.she hated my mom,cuz she knew that my mom could have my dad back if she wanted him.she was rude to us,and acted like we were a bother.your stepmother has a very big job on her hands,and she isnt doing it.talk to her,and tell her that you dont know why she doesnt like you{even though you do}.tell her that the last thing you want to do is fight with her when your father has passed away.he wouldnt want that.ask her why she has a problem,and then tell her that you dont want this to continue.if she doesnt stop,talk to your real mom about it.
2007-01-15 07:27:57 · answer #4 · answered by Abby 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My partner has 2 children from a previous relationship and there is no way that i think they are evil! Some people do hold grudges against their partners children from another relationship (i don't know why) but not all.
2007-01-15 08:42:33 · answer #5 · answered by Bree 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, not all stepmoms are like her! Some stepmoms are very nice, loving people. She's a nasty b#@$h for sure. That's a horrible thing to say to a child. She's misdirecting her anger at your father on to you. Sorry to hear that you lost your Dad sweetie! Please get some counseling, and ignore that woman's nasty remarks.
2007-01-15 07:27:04 · answer #6 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like an awful person, and she's probably very insecure too. She needs to get over herself and respect the fact that you both love your father.
2007-01-15 07:24:43 · answer #7 · answered by Julie K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now that your father has passed away, there's no need to ever have anything to do with her again. That is unless you lived with your dad and stepmom. If that's the case and you are of legal age I would rectify the situation by moving out as soon as possible. If she hasn't changed in 22 yrs, she's not going to now.
Not all stepmoms are evil, mean, a ***** or otherwise. I am a stepmother to 4 grown children. When i first met their father the youngest one was 15 y/o and then there was a 16 y/o, 22 and 23 y/o. I got along with all of them except the 16 y/o. None of them lived with us at the time when we first moved in together however the male 15 y/o did eventually come stay with us for several yrs, which worked out ok. The female 16 y/o was a total spoiled rotten bitchy brat who sided with her cheating mother in the divorce. The 16 y/o was such a ***** to me. I just ignored her. I told her ONE time that her behaviour was not acceptible to me and until she either matured or changed her behaviour I wanted nothing to do with her. And I stood by my word. And I could have been a ***** to her and I am very good at being one when I so choose but I knew for me to act this way towards her would only hurt her father, not her. When she would call and her father wasn't here, I let the answer machine pick up (we had caller ID). When she got pregnate and wanted me to come up to the hospital to see the baby, I explained to her once more that I wasn't comfortable with our relationship and I didn't feel comfortable coming to the hospital. I told her I felt she was only being 'nice' because she just had a baby and was feeling all 'maternal' and all that good stuff. She was upset and of course had to cry to her father about it but he stood by my side and told her she would have to deal with me on this issue, he wasn't going to get in the middle of it. It took her about 3 months but she finally did come around, apologized for the way she had treated me the previous 3 yrs, asked when her son got old enough if he could call me grandma, ask me if I would be her stepmom "for real"! And we've gotten along ever since. Her father and I have been married 8 yrs, dated for 3 yrs and lived together for a yr b4 we got married and for the past 5 yrs, she has been nothing but a pleasure for me. Yes, she still acts immature at times, still throws temper tantrums (at 28!) and still cuss's like a sailor when life gets in her way but she knows around me that i expect nothing but RESPECT and she does give it to me.
So, if you want to continue a relationship with your stepmom, I would sit down with her, tell her what you expect from the relationship and if she wants anything to do with you she will act and behave in the manner that any parent would with a child. If she can't do this, then you want nothing more to do with her.
Not having any "decent" family left is not the end of the world. Both my parents are deceased and I'm only 44. I have 2 other sisters and 2 other brothers. 1 brother has made it ok in this life, rich, nice home, wife, 3 kids but the others are not so great. They all have drinking or drug problems and we very seldom have anything to do with either other. The other brother I havn't seen in 7 yrs. my 2 sisters, we get together at christmas and that is it. I only recently found out where the 1 brother was living. I ran into a friend of his and he told me the brother was living in a town about 3 hrs from us. I have no desire to have anything to do with my 1 bro and 2 sis cuz everytime I do it's always drama, drama, drama. Either that or their so stoned or drunk most of the time they don't even remember that we seen each other. The 1 rich brother, he lives out of state and we talk on the phone at least once a month. He travels alot for his job, his wife goes with him so it's really hard to catch them at home! I survive. I always worried about what would happen with mom died. dad died something like 25 yrs ago. And I always worried when mom died that I would be left alone with no one to love me unconditionally. And I am alone with no one to love me unconditionally. Yes, I am married and am sure he loves me with all his heart and soul, but we all know that these days most marriages don't last forever. but I will survive with or with out my mothers love. I didn't think I could do it, but here I am typing this so I guess I have survived. And you will too. ppl are stronger than they give themselves credit for.
2007-01-15 08:18:40 · answer #8 · answered by suzyq 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no that is not the case. i think that she is a bad apple. don't let her negativity get you down. you owe her nothing now, and really don't need to be around her if that is the way she feels.
2007-01-15 07:25:35 · answer #9 · answered by don't be rude. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is such a hard situation for all concerned and your dad should have straightened this out along time ago.......why would he allow this to go on.
2007-01-15 07:33:29 · answer #10 · answered by ladybug 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋