* we were not even fighting as I went to bed at 10pm, by 4:40, I have the 2 little girls in bed with me and we are only trying to sleep
* He takes both sets of car keys, leaving me with no keys
* He takes my vehicle
* He takes the only vehicle with the baby car seat in it, she doesn't even feel well so even if I had to bring her somewhere I can't....
* leaves his cell phone at home - he's unreachable
* So drunk, unreachable, and I come to find out he gets cigarettes and goes right to his ex wifes house....
so we know where he runs to now.....
* And he gives me such grief if I practically even mention my oldest daughters dad...
2007-01-15 06:45:25 · 43 answers · asked by mikki 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you let him get away with this & imagine what he will do next
2007-01-15 06:50:03 · answer #1 · answered by SoccerBoi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
" How can we resolve this? Am I being unreasonable?" Yes, in my opinion you are and I think you would find a lot of fathers would not be so patient with you. In my opinion you are fretting about nothing and in fact interfering with the relationship the kids and their father have. "He usually writes to me all day so I know he isn't bonding with them every minute." I think you are exaggerating. What he's saying is that he wants to be "available" as much as possible not live and breathe them 24/7. They have lives too so don't expect them to be home every waking moment. When they're not home there is no reason why he can't still be in the house. "In fact, he rarely spends time with them even when he is there." Now how would you know that? You are not there. "He tells me he stays and sleeps in the spare bedroom and his kids have attested to this." Do you have a basis for doubting his word and the kids'? This is a control issue. You are unable to control what is going on over there and that is really affecting you.......needlessly I might add. "The kids say their mom (who divorced him 10 years ago) and their dad are simply friends - that their mom has a boyfriend (doubtful)" Why is it doubtful? Are you saying they are lying? How would you know she doesn't have a bf? You don't. Why would you not believe them? "- and that nothing goes on - they simply like having their dad there with them." That should be good enough for you. Be happy for them. "On one occassion the kids left on a field trip for 2 days and he continued to stay there!" So what? What was the man suppose to do, pack up and stay elsewhere until they returned? Again it is a control and trust issue with you. You need to examine that. "Any other solutions?" Solutions? I can think of only one. If you cannot get past your insecurities, trust and control issues and see the bigger picture then end the relationship. If he wants to stay at his ex's place that's his perogative. You should be thankful that they are on speaking terms and that she is not the ex from he** who could be making his life [and yours] miserable. You grossly underestimate that. Instead of trying to support the man for trying to be a father to his children you are actually sabotaging the relationship by putting unreasonable and unnecessary demands on him such as expecting him to stay in some hotel while he's visiting. Underlying some of this is that you have issues with the ex and you resent her having any sort of relationship [frienship in this case] with her ex. That should not be any of your concern. You also have trust issues and this does not make for a good relationship with anyone at the present time. Your demands are quite unreasonable in my opinion. If I were you I would end the relationship and find someone who has never been married and has had no kids. I don't say that to be cruel to you but to be honest. You need to be realistic and start seeing this from the father's and kids points of view. Just as an aside: Some of what you have said makes little sense. In one sentence you have said that he sees his kids "every" 3-6 months. Later you say it's for a week at a time every 3 months. Which is it? 3 months or 6 months? Depending on how long the visits are that is more than some fathers see their children. You have said you "doubt" anything is going on. So why all the drama? I find your appraisal of him and references later to "his manhood" being threatened revealing. It again reflects your own insecurities. Are you being unreasonable? Let me put it this way: Pretty much everything you have said is all about you. It is not about him or his kids or their relationship with the father. If you're giving him an ultimatum that this is a "deal breaker" be careful what you wish for. He just might take you up on it.
2016-05-24 07:19:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all your husband knew what he was doing. He took both keys for you won't track him down. Left his phone for you don't call him. And do you get a long with the ex. Because think about it why didn't the ex call you in tell you he there at her house drunk in come get your man. He sounds like he up to know good. Now that you know.What are you going to do about it. Do you think he will do this again. I believe you know the answer.For now on hide your keys and pause. Trust me he will do it again. Wheather or not your fighening. You seen it don't make a differents. I know you don't trust him. And all that grief he gives you thats to make you feel bad and your doing something wrong. And now you know its been him doing the wrong.It's sad that your ging to have to live that way. I know I did it for years. And let me tell you it's not wroth it. I know you think it could or hope it will. One day your going to realise its not. Just don't waste yrs. Read ten stupid things women do to mes up their lives by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger
2007-01-15 07:43:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl friend
I have that I was drunk a thousand times. Don't let nobody to tell you to leave your husband. If you are going to stay which I think you should give him a chance to get a taste of his own medicine ( i don't mean cheating). You have to act like it doesn't bother even though I know that it is going to be hard. I have to do this all the time, works like a charm and let him know that you are not putting up with the unnecessary when you have two children and he is not one of them. I will pray for you and your family. I am going through a similiar situation.
2007-01-15 06:58:55 · answer #4 · answered by ALEISIA B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is when you call the cops and report your car stolen. Then change the locks on your doors and throw all of his crap out in the yard in big ol garbage bags or better yet just drop them off at his ex's house.
That behavior is not to be tolerated. He needs to grow up, and you hon need to get a spine.
Good luck and God Bless!
2007-01-15 06:50:27 · answer #5 · answered by The OTHER Boelyn Chic 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he'd always been perfect, respectful and normal in every way, and all of a sudden he freaked out and did the things you're describing - I think I would help him check into a psychiatric facility the next morning, and I don't believe he would object. But please don't try and tell me this is an isolated incident. If he often acts along these same lines, it is your own damn fault for sticking around. Stop being a loser, kick him out, and get a life. You have no one but yourself to blame, and no one to help you but yourself. Take control of the situation.
2007-01-15 06:53:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
c'mon what is your question?
you arent seriously considering staying with a man who openly goes to cheat are you?
if he hasnt done anything sexual he needs help with that alcohol, ive been sober 9 yrs plus so if i can anyone can.
if he had sex with someone else just call the police and have him locked up next time he gets drunk, then move out while he's incarcerated, very little to talk about ... so dont
2007-01-15 06:51:07 · answer #7 · answered by THEMENACE47 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You obviously need to break up with this guy. Why do women have such low standards for the men in their lives?
2007-01-15 06:52:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You 1) report him for auto theft 2) report him to the cops if he's driving drunk 3) leave the worthless loser.
2007-01-15 06:49:12 · answer #9 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
you need to clean house!!!! get rid of the zero and find a hero!! ex-wife oh hell no what is he thinking drunk or not!!! he sounds like a fool and if i were you i would call the po po get my car back and change the locks!!
2007-01-15 06:51:06 · answer #10 · answered by notyochic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you and your girls need a very long vacation from your bf. And you need more self reliance.
Why/how does he: Take YOUR keys, and YOUR vehicle.
That would NEVER fly in my home.
2007-01-15 06:52:22 · answer #11 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋