please, please, please help?!!?

Question

I have been ttc for 10 months and every month before my period i always hope that i am, i even take a test(which always says negative) even though i know i'm not. But as usual i always come on and i get so down and i cant take that feeling anymore, so my partner and i have decided to have a break from trying but i cant get it out of my mind. How do i forget about it and enjoy life? I do try but every month i always look for signs of ovulation and then get my hopes up and it starts all over again. any advice would be very gratful. Thanks

Answer 1

a lot of research helps, good luck and you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know the feeling as I was there once too.... patience is key but i would think after 10 months that maybe you should talk to a doctor and have some tests run on both of you to make sure there isn't a medical reason as to why you have been unsucessful thus far.

Answer 2

This is going to sound really gross but my friend and her sister both did this after a long time trying (separately of course) and swear it worked.

After your partner has ejaculated, put some semen on your fingertip and smear it on the end of your cervix. It might just help it on its way a bit.

Otherwise, as everybody else has said, just try to relax. Don't think of it as trying to have a baby, just enjoy the sex. I was trying for a year. My periods stopped and eventually I thought "well it's just not going to happen." I left work (not for this reason!) and immediately I had a period and the next month I was pregnant. The second time, my periods stopped again so I thought we weren't going to have any more and lo and behold I was pregnant again (my periods didn't stop because I was pregnant, have no idea why they did).

It's so difficult because it becomes all consuming and you can't think of anything else. My doctor started investigating us for infertility after 6 months of trying so maybe you could go down that route?

PS don't just have sex when you think you're ovulating. You can conceive a few days after you've had sex because the sperm hangs around for a while. Just 2 or 3 times a week, at any point in your cycle. This might take the pressure off a bit too..

Answer 3

You poor thing, it must be really hard for you. It took us a while to conceive as well and it is very disheartening when it doesn't happen. Try to remember a few things though, firstly statistically 97 out of a 100 couples under 35 with no medical problems will conceive within a year of trying. If you have been trying for a year it is advised that you both go and get checked out. You never know, there might be a simple explanation why it hasn't happened for you yet.

Secondly, I know it is a complete catch-22 but the more you stress the more difficult it is for your body to do its job. Try to just relax together, have bath, give each other a massage, try to enjoy each others company without being focused on trying for a baby. If you do feel relaxed and have sex, then don't forget to then lie on your back for at least 20 minutes afterwards, preferably with a pillow under your hips to elevate them slightly. This helps the sperm go in the right direction.

Also try reading Zita West's book Fertility and Conception, it is really good at explaining what is going on and what is good for you.

All the best luck.

Answer 4

Try this: imagine what you had to give up for a child, the sacrifices you'd have to make, the sleepless nights, the always having to find some babysitter if you want to go out, the always putting the kid before your and your partner's needs, the not being able to go on holidays without a heap of extra luggage you have to carry around, together with the baby, and the pregnancy itself, which can be horrible, the constant sickness, swollen legs, backaches, looking like a stranded whale, the horrors of giving birth -( I've had it all).
Then convince yourself you don't want a baby just yet. The moment you succeed in that, you're pregnant. Believe me.
Good luck!

BTW, I'm not a child hater at all. I love my little one to death. Just playing devil's advocate....

Answer 5

It sounds like this has become a vicious circle. youu get stressed over it; produce cortisone(the stress hormone), cortisone reduces chance of conception. Bear in mind you have only been trying for 10 months a nature can take up to 2 years. Gorget about conceiveing; go on holiday and relax. Make love under the moon after a couple of glasses of wine. Come back refreshed and start again in 6 months.

Answer 6

First off I wish you the best of luck...getting pg!
Secondly, trying to get pg is a life changing thing. It is ALL consuming when it doesn't happen right away. Just try to keep doing the things you love (which in turn will help you relax) Maybe try staying away from places that have/sell baby things? I think the thoughs will always be in the back of your mind, so try to fill it up with other things you love. Hopefully once you relax, you'll get pg!

Answer 7

U may be all tensed up as u r constantly trying too much and too hard. Have a rest 4 a while and dont make it that u have 2 try certain dates. Try and get away 4 a break, who knows what happens? just take things naturally and u may get a shock.

Have u both been tested 4 infertility? if not get it checked asap.
So just take things easy, dont make specific dates just take it as it comes, it has worked b4. Good Luck

Answer 8

I've been through this twice and both times we decided to stop "trying" is when i got pregnant. I suggest you go on a vacation for a few days by yourself the next time you ovulate so that you get away from the urge to conceive. It worked for me- the next month it happened for me both times!

I know how hard it is to see that negative test or see that your period has arrived again. I started working with toddlers at my church- kind of a see the worst of childhood behavior- to get my mind off of it.

Best of luck to you- and even though its hard- relax.

Answer 9

Oh I wish I can tell you it is easy to forget about it. But for our whole lives we try not to get pregnant, then we decide we are going to try, so you would think, bam you are pregnant. Unfortunately it is not that easy for most women. I dint think it gets any easier. We have tried for over 18 periods. They have tested me, done surgery on me and now are putting me on hormones. At first we just did it and did not pay attention, but the longer it does not happen the more you think about it.
My solution was to go back to school for my masters! i know it sounds drastic, but think about something you want to start doing, just to keep you mind off of it. AND buy HPT by BULK!!

Answer 10

i have heard that if you do it every few days and dont worry about it u have more chances of getting pregnant. my sisters have tried this and they have kids of their own. dont look for the signs just have fun. making babies shouldnt be a chore it should be fun. if you still cant conceive then just have fun and remember that having sex is not just about trying for a baby but also having fun with your partner.
remember to have fun and you should be fine. another reason why u cant conceive is propably cause you are stressing your self out. u need to find a stress release. something that makes u unwind. have fun and good luck