I want it over. How to do it is another thing....?

Question

I simply cannot take another moment in this relationship. My boyfriend lied to me again. Over stupidity. Last week I caught him instant messaging another woman. I confronted him and caught him in lies. He told me that he would delete his contact list and that email account, and he did for a few days but has now he has reactivated it. I know this because I am back on his list and the email did not come back "returned to sender so to speak." This is the list that contains me and 80 other women.... anyway... I am sick of his crap. He treats me like crap in person and then IM's me from the college and talks non stop about sex.. yet when we are together he wont have sex with me... He's playing me. I don't believe he loves me... and I can't take another day of this. Problem is we share a child and a house.. how I tell him its over without setting him off? Thanks for reading!

Thanks for all the answers so far. Yes he does get violent. And me having his child was fully accidental. The baby was conceived after he told me that he had a vasectomy. (Jokes on me, I know.) I have been planning to kick him out for awhile. I just thought that he would change. I have been recordign his actions for about 6 months now... therefore I know how to protect myself. And I have called the police preciously on him, another time, when I broke up with him and he threatened suicide. I guess I thought things would change. Joke is on me. I guess I was looking for an easy way to tell him without having him blow up. Guess there is no easy way. For now. I will just continue on with my plan and tell him when I have all my ducks in order so to speak.

Answer 1

Get all your financial and legal ducks in a row, and end it. Just make sure you have everything in order. Speak with a lawyer, especially because there is property and a child involved, it would be in your best interest before you bring everything to a halt. Do not speak to mutual friends or relatives, about what you may be contemplating. It is usually in a time like this when you find out just who your real friends are. Remember, silence is golden, patience is a virtue, and nothing beats the element of surprise. Best of Luck!

Answer 2

If He Is Away At College Why Do You Worry That You Are Going To Set Him Off. At This Point Hes Taking You For A Ride And Doesnt Want To Be Involved With You Or The Child. Take Him To Court For Shild Support. That Should Get His Attention! But Dont Play His Games.

Answer 3

Since you're not married, leaving isn't hard. Depending on the state you live in, you can file for child support. Being apart doesn't mean he leaves his responsibilities behind, and the law is on your side. Since he seems to desire an open relationship with any woman that comes his way, let him have it...without you. If your name is on the house, then you'll have to seek legal counsel to see how you can get out of it. I don't know what the laws of your state say about that, so yo will need to talk to someone. I know this is a very difficult situation, but giving this guy his freedom is the best course of action right now. Maybe, when he sees what he's missed out on, he might decide he was a jerk and do right by you and your child. Of course, this would take a lot of maturity, on his part. And maybe a lot of time too. So, for right now, get all the legal answers that you need, putting everything in place, even to where you will live. If you are afraid of talking to him, talk to someone from a local woman's shelter. They can give you advice on how to do this. You shouldn't do this alone. My best friend works at Social Services, and she handles lots of things like this, especially helping women in tough situations. <*)))><

Answer 4

Honey, you shouldn't even be worrying about him at this point. As far as not wanting to "set him off" kinda gives me the impression that he may be the violent type. If so, I would moved all his stuff out the house and change all the locks and get a restraining order. Or if you prefer, you move out while hes at work. I mean, it sounds messed up, but if you are afraid at his reaction, it may be your only way. In the long run it is worst for your child if you stay in an unhealthy relationship. Sounds to me like he is a playa. And if so, he is not only putting your life in danger, he is also putting his child welfare in danger too. What will to happen to your child if you both were to get sick? Now a days sleeping around is not at all safe and it can lead to death in a blink of an eye. You and your child deserve more than what this man is offering you, someone who puts your life in danger does not love you but you seem to already know this. I say leave and leave now before it gets too difficult to leave. Good Luck. I hoped I helped.

Answer 5

oh you poor thing, better now than later believe me, Ive done it myself, if he lies he will keep on lying, he sounds as though he still has a lot of growing up. Your too good for him and its not fair, life is short enough, close the door and open another, go to the local authority's they will advise you were you stand, then go see a lawyer, its about £10 for an hour and they can help get things sorted. good luck, but in a year a whole new life will have started and looking brighter, after all a yr really isn't that far away

Answer 6

No matter what you do it will set him off. Stand up to him, and end it now. Best if you get off of yahoo anyway. Its the DEVIL, LOL. DOn't play games, like checking to see if he's lieing. He did it once or more and he will again. DO you know why??? Cause you haven't done anything about it. Your still with him right?? SO you yell at him a bit. So what he must not care cause he keeps doing it. Stop playin his games, just end it. There's no good way other than ending it like an adult.

Answer 7

There are several things, you can do. Give him one of those 1-900 numbers or text message numbers and get on with life.
What do you think the child needs? To learn how to treat women like crap? I hope you have a good support base, who know the situation. You can go home to your friends and family.

Answer 8

setting him off is the last thing you should be concerned with..he should have been afraid of setting YOU off..think about what you have to do..with your child and your living circumstances and figure out a plan so that when you tell him its over you know what to do from there..and than drop the bomb one day by saying you no longer feel the need to continue with this relationship..your not receiving the love you feel your deserve and your going to move on..don't worry about what he's doing to say..he is not whats important..only YOU and your child are important..good luck! :)

Answer 9

I'm not sure there are any ways to tell someone it's over and be able to control or even predict their response.

For me, the important thing would be to protect myself and my child first. I would start by seeking out the advise of an attorney - some offer free initial consultations if money is an issue.

Answer 10

If he is that type then there is no easy way of doing it, just tell him that you don't want any of his excuses or promises, you just want out of the relationship with him. He will either grant it or fight you about it. Let him know that he can see his child anytime within reason and as for the house sell it and split the money and move on. Good luck.