Best Friend Rivalry?

Question

She's changed, and it's obvious. Has diff. values, and a diff. attitude towards things. She's still the same w. me - when it's just "us". but around others.i'd never wanna be her friend. She just seems so.. FAKE, like she's tryna impersonate others. the guys love her, the girls admire her, and so did i, but that was before she became this barbie who only turns human when we're 1 on 1. @ school, she couldn't care less about me. but outside of school? > it's all about our friendship! what's true? I've confronted her about it, and she just says she wants to prove to 'em other girls "what she's made of" --- but does that mean excluding me & changing? it's an act, she knows it - i know it - but what does this seem like? is she using me for support? > that's the only main reason y she calls. n i'm the only person who ever hears her shYt - while everyone else sees her perki side. i'm starting to really feel confined, i'm not as social - but i'd like to be out of her shadow...

Answer 1

Is she the only friend you have? Does she scare off other people from being your friend? If yes, she might be too toxic to have a close relationship with, and you might just want to limit how much time you two spend together. While you might be the only constant rock in her life, she's got to know that her dual life is all a lie, and that you need her to be "real" all the time. If she's looking to "prove" herself to these other gals, she's just wasting her time and efforts. They really don't care about her, and are probably laughing at her. Yes, she's using you. She needs a safe place to come to, so that she can relax and be herself. She's not as strong as she thinks she is, and shows it by hiding out with you. You just might have to tell her you're busy, next time she wants to come over. Then, make sure that you ARE busy. You don't want to play HER game, with lies and deception. Maybe get more involved with school activities, or join a group. Get out of her shadow. Tell her you need her to be herself all the time, and don't want to stand by and watch her games anymore. If she stops being your friend, then she's more shallow than you thought. If she's truly your friend, she'll listen to you and work out these issues in her life. Life's too short to play mind games, especially with someone who's mind has seemed to have left the building! <*)))><

Answer 2

Sounds like she is moving in a different direction than you. You can still be her friend, but maybe your interests are changing. It might be time to find new friends that are more like you. That doesn't mean
you can't still be her friend, but you can't change her. You can just be a good example for her. She may need your support, but that doesn't mean it's okay for her to use you either. Sounds like she is
just testing her wings. It might hurt to watch her values change, and
maybe you can help guide her, but it's sometimes frustrating to do
so. You sound like a good person and a good friend. Keep yourself open to new friendships and don't let this one get you
down. Things like this happen all the time. It's just part of growing
up. She may come around.

Answer 3

I'd say try having an honest conversation again and see what happens, but ideally I would try to get some space/distance from her for awhile to really sort things out for myself and to give me time to connect with my other friends who may end up being a better friend. Take some time apart.

Answer 4

Well just tell her if you aint going to talk to me around others then you cant talk to me at all. And leave it at that. Say it how you feel. Like if your annoyed say it like that and if this doesnt bother you too much then just bring it up in the next conversation. True friendship is rare. I seem to always be trying to please my friends in one way or another. A true friend is someone that talks to you about you and enjoys th things you do. Goodluck.

Answer 5

The truth is, your once great friendship is dying and people change and move on. I don't see if there is anything that you can do but to try and make her realize it or you can make new friends and cut it off completely. You don't have to cut it off completely but find out how much you mean to her.

Answer 6

ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT A REAL FRIEND IS LIKE FAMILY. THEY LUV U UNCONDITIONALLY. THEY TELL U THINGS WETHER U WANNA HEAR THEM OR NOT. THEY NEVER CHANGE U GROW TOGETHER. IF SHE HAS CHANGE AND U REALLY HONESTLY HAVE DONE ANYTHING TO INDUCED THIS CHANGE THEN GET U A NEW FRIEND BUT TAKE UR TIME BEFORE U GIVE SOMEONE THAT TITLE AGAIN. I HASE TO BE EARNED NOT JUS THROW AROUND

Answer 7

I understand wanting to have that one close friend that you can tel eveything to, but she can't have it both ways. Either she's your friend ALL of the time or none of the time. If you can't make her understand that she needs to act like your friend in front of others, too, then you need to cut her off in private as well. Join some groups, make some new friends.

Answer 8

OMG this happened once to me... i have to say tht shes NOT my friend anymre and once ppl knew tht they stopped hanging around her so now she has no friends (not trying to be harsh)...
But seriously, if she is behind you 110%, she has no business being your friend. I know you're probably fed up with all that 'go talk to her' crap, but seriously, you should. Actually, do it in school so she really relizes what you're talking about... otherwise she'll say ''idk what you're talking about Jane, you're my BFFL'' But get some different friends, tell them you're story, and get them to relize what a crappy friend she was... btw stop listening to HER, YOU talk for once... see what happens...

Answer 9

you will slowly drift apart until she see's that the only person she needs to please is herself, and eventually she will become unhappy with who she is, and that's where you come in as a best friend, she trusts you- so let her go thru this phase, and she will come around eventually- just be her friend, because that's what friends do

Answer 10

u should just get her to change. let ur heart led u good luck =)