How to "learn" not to be NAIVE?

Question

Despite the question, I don't know it is *bad* that I am Naive.

I kinda knew... but in being with my new "girlfriend" she made the observation of how Naive I am.

Maybe some of you have experience here either observing it, or learning NOT to be?? If that is even possible.??

I do look at life as half-full despite all the incredibly hard knocks. But how do I come off as not immature or the bad side of being naive? I am very trusting until someone gives me a reason not to trust.. of course in that case the criminals probably love targets like me for example cause you only *need* to be fooled once.

Any advice?

Answer 1

I think you're mixing up a few things. Start by looking up the definitions of each of these words: naive, optimistic, trusting.

Being trusting and being optimistic is ok. Being naive is normal until experience replaces it. Don't turn yourself into someone you're not just because someone else tells you you should be more this or less that. Grow in your own way at your own time. I have been naive as well and negative experiences changed that. But I still refuse to believe that distrusing everything or losing my optimism is the way to go. Just learn and make the best of it.

Answer 2

Believe is right. Being naive is not so good. Trusting people until they give you a reason not to trust them is good though. You are optimistic about people and things. Obviously to go somewhere that is, say notorious for crime, and not putting your wallet in your front pocket because you believe people wouldn't do that to you, is naive. You need street smarts-common sense. But to believe that people are generally good and to go into new situations with a good outlook, how can that be bad? Is your girlfriend kind of pessimistic? Does she have low standards of how things will turn out? Maybe she's been let down a lot and is protecting herself. Maybe by telling you that you're naive she is trying to protect you from getting hurt. Just make sure you are realistic in your life and don't set yourself up for definite failure.

Answer 3

The only real way to 'outgrow' naivitae is through experience. Unfortunately you will probably have an experience that causes you to trust people less. I hope that it isn't a very traumatic one.
The experience is unique to the person experiencing it - I mean that what one person feels is a serious event is not so serious to someone else. Thats why you may still have that optimistic attitude.
Anyhow, being naive is a very good thing. It means no one has hurt you enough to ruin your good outlook on life. I hope you never outgrow it. God bless you!!

Answer 4

You only learn not to be naive through experience.

It's good to be naive but also bad. It's good because it gives you a different perception of the world--through rose-tinted glasses is the phrase I like to use. But it's also bad because it's easy for people to trick you. I guess another word for it is gullible.

The fact is, you don't want to be naive; you want to be optimistic. So instead of being naive and gullible, be optimistic but strong.

Answer 5

Life experience will help you learn not to be naive.Unfortunately there are bad people out there who will take advantage of a trusting person. Trust is something that should be earned and not given freely.

Answer 6

Life experience takes away naivativity

Answer 7

You grow up out of naiveness. If you are already done with that phase, too bad for you.

Answer 8

Usually via the school of hard knocks!

Answer 9

Life experience is one, but most of all, you can listen to other people's experiences too. :)

Answer 10

life experiences, which come with age. You will overcome it.