How long did your 'affair' last for? What gender are you?
2007-01-15 05:41:13 · 38 answers · asked by Just me. 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
In my first marriage...yes. In my present marriage, absolutely not! I am a 37 female answering this question, just for your information. Even though I cheated in my first marriage and had more than one affair, I vow to never to it again. Once affairs and cheating are revealed, it seems you never live it down and it forever haunts you. I did it out of loneliness and getting the extra attention I craved at the time, but it isn't worth it in the end. It causes a lot of pain for all people involved. I have been married to the man I'm with going on 3 years, but together for over 6. He and I both cheated on our spouses with one another, and that also causes problems (for me) anyhow, always being concerned that my husband will cheat on me since he cheated WITH me. But we both have also been on the other end of things where we were the ones cheated on by our ex-spouses as well, so we both feel very committed to our relationship and have no desire to ever go down that path again. I would not recommend anyone ever doing it if they are contemplating it. If you can resolve the issues in your marriage, do so first. Otherwise, get out of the relationship before moving on with someone else.
I didn't fully read your question before so am adding to my answer. In my first marriage, when I started cheating, it was after 11 years into the marriage before I EVER became unfaithful. However, my ex-husband HAD cheated on me once at least that I knew of, but a couple others I suspected but couldn't never prove. When I started cheating, it started out with infatuation at first and gradually led into a full blown affair. It was with a much older man than me who also happened to be a near by neighbor, who before the internet came along, I didn't he know he existed. We continued our affair for more than 4 years, but it was gradually becoming harder and harder to sneak around to see one another because suspicions were starting to rise with people and opportunities were becoming less and less. I am from a extremely small town, so it's a wonder I never got caught, quike frankly. But during this affair, I had been going out to bars with a best friend and next door neighbor. Since I was an attractive lady, it didn't take much for me to get attention from guys in the bars. Most of them I danced with, but that was it. I steered away from having any one night stands or anything like that. But that is where I met my "now" husband, who I became extremely attracted to as he did me also. While he and I did do some "touchy, feely", we never had sex till some couple years later. It got very hard because I was so torn between being still married, and having a serious affair, then started to have feelings for someone else. There was also a couple other guys, one was my husband's best friend, who I hung around with all to the side. While it was not all innocent, it also was not very sexual. It was mainly the attention I was getting and how it made me feel. My self esteem was building immensely knowing that so many men wanted me who weren't going to get me. But the husband who I am now married to was the most persistant one. That is why he won out, plus he made my heart just melt. To this day, when he cleans himself up to go out somewhere with me, I think he is sexiest man I have ever laid my eyes on. He's just plain gorgeous in my eyes. So I have no reason to ever want to venture outside the marriage again. Even if he isn't so good looking down the road, I will still always love him and want nothing more than to be true to him. I do value fidelity in a marriage, in spite of my sordid past. But like my husband tells me, what I did in the "past" is in the "past". There is no reason for him to mistrust me based on my past because that is not who I am now and he knows he can fully trust me. And he is right.
2007-01-15 05:50:48 · answer #1 · answered by jims_prettyeyes 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes the old wisdom is the best thing to consult on these questions. Christ says if you have lusted after another you have indeed committed an adultery. Basically saying that the thought was just as bad as the action. Therefor every married person is an adulterer. I am a male. Yes I have. I wish I had not. Marriage survives and we are happier than ever.
2007-01-15 06:18:05 · answer #2 · answered by Rob 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Had an affair: Never
Gender: Female
2007-01-15 05:52:23 · answer #3 · answered by AmyB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO--- For 25 yrs. had a trusting and loving marriage.
Trust is what it takes!!!!
If someone can't be trusted then they don't love them enough,
or they should move on and not hurt a person is such away that can rip their heart out and make them very leary of another relationship and happiness. You may find happiness in those actions, but your mate also will deserve happiness. If you can't give it, let them know and let them move on.
This person maybe ready for children, and not wanting to waste wime with someone who doesn't care. A child shouldn't be in that sort of home either.
2007-01-15 06:36:35 · answer #4 · answered by lana s 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have never cheated on my wife. Been together almost 12 years.
2007-01-15 06:05:01 · answer #5 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I've never cheated, and I never will cause its happened to me and I know how it feels. I would never be able to inflict that pain on someone I love just because I had a moment of desire!!
When he cheated...it was a drunken one night mistake.
2007-01-15 05:53:57 · answer #6 · answered by CEP 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes one time, one night. and that's all it took to end my 12 year marriage even thow to this day she has no idea i cheated. Once you cheat on someone you love, you change you hate yourself so much you don't want to live. how can you ever love anyone again. It made it impossible to live with the guilt so i had to justify it by thinking and accusing her of not loving me and cheating till one day it came true.
2007-01-15 06:12:01 · answer #7 · answered by ch0ch064 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I've never cheated and never will for 4 reasons.
I have strong morals and values
That is the ultimate way to hurt someone
I am mature enough to end my marriage
I would never want it done to me
2007-01-15 05:51:35 · answer #8 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Never cheated.
2007-01-15 05:45:12 · answer #9 · answered by kisses 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, only sad, pathetic people do that to someone they stood up in front of God and everyone and said they'd love and cherish forever.
2007-01-15 05:46:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋