why is this?

Question

all my life ive thrown myself into relationships really fast. and they never seem to last more than a few weeks or months. my parents have been divorced could this possibly be the reason?

Answer 1

Sounds like you're a person that devotes themselves completely to a relationship. Although this is a very good quality in a man, you also have to learn to take it easy. You should always take things slow and watch them develop slowly. Don't rush things and don't force them either. If it's going to work it's going to work. Just take it one day at a time; one step at a time.

Answer 2

No, the problem is that YOU THROW YOURSELF INTO RELATIONSHIPS TOO FAST.

You jump in before you're ready, and my guess is that the women break up with you. Think about it: you're probably coming off as a little needy and it scares them.

Jump off the dating train until you figure out why you even need to be on it. Yes, everyone needs companionship, but it doesn't work unless you are confident and happy with yourself first. Until you are, you will always be looking for someone else to pick that slack and make you feel better about yourself. That's no one's responsibility but yours. Without knowing why your parents divorced, it's hard to say that's the reason for your failed relationships.

You have to ask yourself if it's the person you want or they way the make you feel that you find appealing. Do they make you feel something you don't feel on your own? If so, you need to figure out how to appreciate and love yourself more. Be responsible for your own happiness.

Answer 3

No, the reason is your own attitude/maturity level. "All my life" implies you weren't born yesterday. So, you should have had ample time to get past the things your parents did in their life, and come up with your own M.O. There's nothing wrong with being decisive in relationships - but you have to work on developing your self-awareness and your intuition for this strategy to be successful. If you are not able to interpret your own feelings and reactions, or those of the people around you, you're setting yourself up for failure by "rushing into" things. Develop a habit of analyzing yourself, your feelings and your reactions, and interpreting them. Keeping a journal can be helpful for some. Always ask: where did I go wrong? Why did this happen? Next time you're in a similar situation, you'll be able to anticipate possible scenarios. Good luck.

Answer 4

It's easy to blame your parents divorce. But that might not be the case. The reasons why you are a certain way don't really matter that much. What matters is the reasons you choose to change. And then making that change. Maybe you rush into relationships because you don't want to be alone. Look at that, face it and then resolve to overcome that fear of being alone. Try not dating for awhile until someone worth it comes along.

Answer 5

Logical fallacy: false either-or.

You are compartmentalizing your options into two and only two categories, and saying you need a yes or no. The answer is neither and both.

People are complex. The divorce probably had some influence on your bad relational habits, and your mother probably had some influence on the types of women that you find yourself attracted to. They are contributing influences, but not single nor deciding influences. In that way its both.

There are hundreds or thousands of things that make you who you are and they come from genetics (nature), environment (nurture), and your own choices. In part the choices you make make you. You are neither a slave to your biology, nor your upbringing. In that way the answer is neither.

If you are looking to blame someone, look in the mirror. Blamers are often their own biggest problem.

If you are looking to change the situation, you cant change your genetics, or how you are brought up, but you can change how you think, and you can make choices that lead you down a very different, and very much better road in life.

Answer 6

No, it's NOT the reason.

You need to step back a minute and see why all the relationships failed.......before moving on to new ones.

Write the names of the relationships, write the reasons for the break up, the pro's and con's too.

Now with this list, you should be seeing a pattern, rather it be YOUR fault or the fault of others why they failed. Don't be objective on YOUR WRONG doings either. BE HONEST with your lists!!

NOW, are you seeing a pattern? IS it something your NOT doing or something YOU ARE DOING?

IF so.........make the CHANGE!!

IF all the relationships have alot in common on where their the ones at fault, what are their wrong doings?
Maybe your picking the same kind of relationships.

Must be OPEN for CHANGE and honesty within yourself!!

Answer 7

It could be part of the reason, but you can't blame your parents for your own mistakes in life. Maybe you just don't know what you want, so when you jump into a relationship too quick, you hit the breaks quickly at the first thing you see that you don't like. Fear of commitment maybe? I think you can answer these questions yourself.

Answer 8

No, you never learned to make good choices about people and haven't learned to be discerning about who you get involved with. It's not a "relationship" if it's only been a matter of weeks or months - that's called dating.
You should read the book "Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who's Right and Avoiding Who's Wrong" so you can stop choosing the wrong peope

Answer 9

Possibly, but more than likely you are going too far too fast. Consciously slow down. Most women may find a ride in a race car that goes from 0-70 in 0.3 seconds exciting but would not choose to buy such a vehicle. The one they buy will not burn out, is built to last, is attractive inside and out, is slow when they need it to be slow and fast when they need it to be fast, and doesn't require a lot of maintenance

Answer 10

Who knows....you don't really give a lot of information here. Maybe you're coming on too strong because you're desperate for the family you missed out on because of your parents' divorce. If you're really worried about it, go speak to a professional.

Good luck and best wishes!