My wife and I blended families and when we argue, we tend to gravitate back to split camps (like she then spends time with her and her daughter and I go and play with my two kids). I was used a lot in my first marriage and she was used a lot in her previous relationships. We seem to bring that into our marriage. We both think the other is going to use each other and sometimes it rips the fabric of blending the families apart. Problem is we never used to think this way. We used to do everything for each other. Now we second guess the others motives even though we both have admitted we do it because we’re scared of each other because we do love each other so much. I want to sacrifice everything for her and she does with me as well but something is keeping us from doing it again. Should I set the example and just start doing everything for her again and just take that leap in the hopes that we’ll get back to the way we were? I’m waiting for her to do the same thing but I guess one of us has to take the first leap again. We were very unselfish when we first got married now it seems we’ve gone back to being a little selfish. Anybody else have this problem? Is it a normal part of marriage?
2007-01-15 05:18:23 · 7 answers · asked by survivor 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you have a lot of love and respect for each other but this problem could cause a break-down in your marriage.
Your family could be helped greatly by family counseling....to help you learn to be one family and not branch off in times of trouble.
I'm from a blended family and it all worked out wonderfully but it would have been so much easier if we'd had a bit of outside help.
2007-01-15 05:23:50 · answer #1 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is normal. I have been married for 19.5 years-in a blended family situation and we STILL do this. It's so childish and we both realize what we're doing so we immediately put a stop to it. Go ahead and make that "leap of faith" and chances are she will follow. If the two of you really love each other. then it will all work out in the end. It's tough when you've been hurt badly before but you must start somewhere and SOON!
Best wishes...
2007-01-15 05:29:10 · answer #2 · answered by Pam C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I actual have been married now for terribly almost 15 years. We each and each had 2 teenagers. We went to a marriage counsler earlier we've been married and on no account lived mutually. the 1st 5 years have been a severe project yet we the two went into it understanding it may be. Come on you're speaking approximately 2 different families with different regulations and techniques for raising infants. i assume notwithstanding I understand your frustration, i don't see the variety you could desire to possibly be waiting to thrown interior the towel after some months. sounds like the countless concern is that the lines of verbal replace have unquestionably been disconnected and that i propose you paintings on that via some severe counseling. that's going to unquestionably assist you to interior the long-term. It additionally seems such as you like putting his teenagers down, who by ways had no selection in picking you for a step-mom and are probally appearing out because of the fact of it. #a million you could desire to quiet down! a variety of of human beings circulate via and experience the variety you do yet you have have been given to attitude the sitituation once you're actually not so indignant. Get help now so which you will understand one yet another and get a extra advantageous potential on a thank you to enhance your loved ones mutually. in case you do not kiss this marriage sturdy-bye. sturdy success!!
2016-10-07 04:55:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the others. Maybe seek some couseling. At the very least, re-introduce the caring and sharing and doing for her. It would really help if you two could sit down and talk about what is going on.
Blending families is difficult, but obtainable. Don't give up and work to resolve these issues before it gets worse.
2007-01-15 05:26:04 · answer #4 · answered by Wondrin Dude 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need marriage counselling and family counselling to reintroduce the trust in your relationship.
2007-01-15 05:22:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is one of the major problems when one marries with "excess baggage". I have no answer for you...but for myself...have learned that I will not marry again into a situation with "excess baggage"....no baggage for me now!!!!
2007-01-15 05:28:08 · answer #6 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One word: counseling.
2007-01-15 05:21:27 · answer #7 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋