He happens to be black how do I tell my daughter to stop seeing him without people saying I am racist.
2007-01-15 04:55:38 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If that is your only objection, you ARE racist. The world is getting smaller. Yes, it may be a hard relationship for them, because of people just like you, but let them decide if they can handle that. If she was raised by you, unfortunately for the poor guy, chances are she is probably just doing this to get a rise out of you. The more you ignore it, the sooner she will drop him if her feelings are not genuine. If they are genuine there isn't a darn thing you can do about it. Dealing with your predjudice will strenghten their relationship. I wish the guy all the best. I wish you some tolerance and appreciation for diversity.
2007-01-15 05:03:18 · answer #1 · answered by amazingly intelligent 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are asking to be able to do, is almost impossible in the United States. Any effort of you to discourage this coupling will result in you being accused of being a racist. YOu can see what I mean by Belinda's answer above. The question is do you have the guts to take the racists on who will charge you with the racist label.
I find the situation we have allowed ourselves to get into in this country, totally unacceptable. Blacks have either on purpose or unwittingly painted themselves into an position where they are untouchable. No truth can every be said about them if it is even slightly negative, because they will charge you with being a racist.
Pretty cool for them. It is like a free ticket to be terrible people and never be called on it. Pretty cool if you are black. You can act-up or out and every white person is scared into not saying anything about it.
I think anyone who accuses you of being a racist when you are not, should be charged with being a racist. See if you can pull that off.
You will need a lot of help from the black community before you start your campaign to stop this coupling. Good luck with that. You will have to first convince a number of blacks you are not a racist and then get them to defend you when you bring up your concerns about the coupling. Don't think you can pull that off, but maybe you could.
What do you think?
Would be great to hear back from you in 30 days to see how far you have gone with this and if your efforts were successful.
2007-01-15 13:12:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you didn't say how old she is .my daughter is 17 and living with a 34 year old i don't approve has been going with him since she was 16. I only found 3 months after they moved in together so i know how you feel. just tell your daughter you are there for her and that the door is always open, making a big thing out of things will only make her more determend to keep seeing him.
2007-01-19 01:50:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a reason you don't approve of him other then the color of his skin? If not then maybe you should try to really get to know him and see why your daughter likes him so much. After that if you still don't approve of him then talk to your daughter about the situation.
2007-01-15 13:28:06 · answer #4 · answered by jessica c 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You disaprove of him because he's BLACK. That's a pity. ok black people have a bad rep and all like gangs and being rapists. you're judging him from the outside. that's just wrong. and if thats the only reason you want her to not see him again guess what, YOU ARE RACIST!!!you should tell her not to see him if
1. He's abusive
2. MUCH older than she is
3. pushes the relationship too fast
4. Disrespectful towards her
5. Drinks/Smoke/does drugs
Reason's to back off:
1. if she's happy
2. he cares about her
3. YOU CAN'T RUN HER LIFE ITS HER LIFE SO BACK OFF!!!!!
2007-01-15 13:03:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
look im sorry to say this but you cant run your daughters life... does he make her happy? if the answer is yes then please back off.... a parent should always put their childs happyness before their own... if she is happy then there is no reason to split up a good relationship... ok he is black... so what? its just a different skin colour, not a different species... if she was dating a two timeing **** wipe then yes, you have the right to express your concerns, but just because he is black is no reason to split them up... if you do tell her she may end up resenting you and im sure that is the last thing you want.... if you really need to talk to her about it i suggest saying something like "right listen and dont say anything till im done... i dont approve of your relationship but i am happy to let it go on so long as you are happy"... that way you can express your concerns and allow your child the happyness she deserves... but unfortunatly she still might rebel... just bight your tounge and let her be... its hard but remember you love her and im sure as a parent want her to be happy... good luck
2007-01-15 13:02:30 · answer #6 · answered by natalia121 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You'll be a racist, because you are one.
You will need to do some serious changing.
Your daughter has opened the doors for you to try your hand at being a decent human being.
Take the opportunity to get to know this guy. FOR him, not his "color" of skin. You know he's human! Just like you and me. There are good people of all colors and bad ones of all colors.
Get with it and see if you can become a non-racist.............take the challenge!
2007-01-15 13:01:30 · answer #7 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can say what ever you want but to be honest its more than likely only going to cause animosity with doing so and she will do the opposite of it to spite you.I am certain that your daughter is young and will more than likely have another guy she spends her life with than this guy.All you can really do is be patient,remind her the consequences for making poor choices in life and hope for the best.If he is a good guy to her and she cares for him all you can do is be supportive and let her make her own life.
2007-01-15 13:02:01 · answer #8 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The more you interfere and try stopping this, the more likely you are to fail. There problem as I see it is that she has chosen to date someone and you need to interfere. Just get a grip and say little or nothing. We raise our children to make choices and good decisions, but beyond that, they are going to do what they choose. This isn't easy, but there are much worse things she could be doing.
2007-01-15 13:02:28 · answer #9 · answered by Jan C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I bet that situation is a hard one, im not racist, but then I dont know how I would react if my daughter did the same thing, I would try to be open minded but dont know, SORRY that I was of no help
2007-01-15 13:00:42 · answer #10 · answered by bob 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋