spank? give up?

Question

what to do i have 4 kids and 2 of them just dont care... i have tried spanking ..time out .. takeing EVERYTHING out there room ...yelling...knees...poster boeard with good and bad behavior...consistancy... there father and his family has never backed me up ...but went against me when i corrected the kids.. we divorced 6 years ago and i cant get them on the right track ..all i can say is I love my kids to no end but at the end of the day i go to my room every day and cry my @ss off because seriouly NOTHING works i am thinking about haveing them live with relatives . they create HAVOC in the home .. i dont want to do this .. I am begging someone to plzzzzzz help me!!!!!!! I cant take the disrespect from them nomore and the NO's from them when i ask them to do something...they seriously destroy the house and will not pick up after thereself!!!!!!!!!

most important I HAVE tried taking i feel like i am talking to my self . I tried reading verses out the bible to them and hasnt worked!!!!!!!!!!!

i meant i tried TALKING sry for spelling error

Answer 1

Bring them to a Christian Church and maybe they will turn to the Lord. If they do that, The Lord will begin to work in them and they will learn the commandment to, 'Honor thy parents'.

Answer 2

You have to get tough. You are reacting to their actions rather than them reacting to you. You should be in the position such that when you walk into the room, their little brains are thinking roughly, "Oh crap, it's Mom." Not in a negative sense, but in the sense that they better have their act together. It's sort of like a good teacher vs. a bad teacher. There is not a difference in the knowledge that the two have, the difference is in the attitute and personality and presence of the individual. You don't yell, that just creates the chaotic atmosphere. You should be calm and in control. Be firm, expect compliance, don't ask for it. One last time clean the house, get it all straight, and start from that point. Know in your own mind the house will stay clean. The first time you see something that needs done and caused by them, tell them, don't ask, tell them to clean it up or whatever the case is. If you get the answer no, you drag that kid into his room and spank his butt either bare or on underwear, and hard. I'm not talking about abuse, I'm talking about a stingy hand spanking. Drag them back out to where the problem is and physically force if necessary that they clean it up or fix it. Repeat if necessary. You have to take control and be firm and command respect. Stop being nice, that comes after you have control.

Answer 3

It all depends how old they are! If there still young 6-8 and under. They have they wrong idea of who the boss is. If there a little older it will be difficult. I never did things like that because there was no way i would get away with it. There getting away with it. If they see you lose control, they will lose control. They learn how to act by watching how u act. My parents were vey calm and corrected any outburst on the spot. There was no way in hell that I was getting away with talking back.
I am a firm believer in spanking but to a point! If they are completely out of control..spanking wont do anything. There is more of an issue. Never spank when ur angry or upset. If u spank them tell them why u are doing it and that u love them, so they know its never out of anger! That builds resentment!
But the world stops at disrespect! And let them know that! Pull the car over, stop what your'e doing. So they know it will NOT be tolerated, and do it calmly! Demand it. You will need to be "hilter" for awhile, and u will be hated. But sound like they have been getting away with things too long!!! email [e-mail]

Answer 4

ask around and not here but people u no. reward good behavior and if these don't work then try stand your ground a little firmer. take them to one-on-one counseling with just the counselor, u, and 1 of the kids. do it for both of the kids but dont have them do a counseling session together. reading ur question, it seems like they only do this when they're together and the counseling won't work if they're both in there acting like hyenas. so instead try and find out whats on each of the kid's minds and treat them more as individuals instead of one peice. spend the equal amount of time with each of them and as much time as u can. this is what i always wanted from my mother but i never got it and sometimes i'd lash out. hope this works for u and the best of luck!

Answer 5

You need to stop reacting. They are getting what they want from your negative attention. If they will not pick up after themselves, start throwing away what they leave lying around. If they won't do dishes, make every meal spaghetti-o's or tuna fish sandwiches. If they lie around and watch TV, give the TV to charity. Take most of the "stuff" away and you will begin to have an impact. Kids are very materialistic, and you can see to their needs without catering to them. The military proves that every day.

Answer 6

spank the toddler the position the clap will be heard precise decrease back to the bones of the primate The clap is heard purely contained in the room yet contained in the generations that it will be surpassed right down to love a the wings of a butterfly, the vibrations of air- the chaos idea is produced onto the inheritor I had somewhat idea you've been making a poem about the 5 finger shuffle (basically depending on the call)

Answer 7

Sounds stressful. I can only tell you what I would do... I would become the b-i-t-c-h mom. Sounds like right now everything they do is your problem... their behavior needs to become their own problem, not yours... If they aren't ready for school outside, take the way they are, bad breath in p.j.s etc... and when you drop them off hand them their brush and a change of clothes to use in the school bathroom... I garantee you, you will not be late again. if they break something of yours, break somethign of theirs or throw it away. If they don't eat their breakfast, then save that soggy cereal for supper... (in the fridge so it doen'st go sour). I would become the 'don't you EVER show me disrepect again" person. If they mouth you off, then obviously they don't deserve for you to be nice and buy them things.. and so take something away.. if they end up sleeping in a bare room with a pillow and a blanket.. I think that they will then start to care... when they show respect, they can then EARN their things back...

and they need to work in my opinion. I was raised on a farm, and working and doing chores really gives a sense of responisiblity and improves your attitude alot. My kids have lots of chores and when do them with a good attituded get rewarded.

And is a good 'start behavior'. You want them to 'stop' certain things.. which need one punishment. To get the to 'start' something that you tell them to do... gets a different kind of punishment...

One thing that works really well is to set a egg timer. when that timer goes off, if the room isn't clean, you go in with a garbage bag. they then owe you chores to earn they things back if you choose not to throw it out. If they can't be responsible with it, they don't deserve it.

It sounds really harsh... I know.. I don't usually do these things because my daugther is really great... but believe me, if I let her... she would be attitude with capital letters.. she has tried everything.. but only once. and we have a peaceful happy house. I am strict but fair. I show respect, but I derserve it back.. and if you don't feel it, fake it because I am the authority figure for the next few years...

That is my opinion... you can fix this... you just need support.. and the good news is, that when you get this fixed, you can start being nice mom again.. and only use these tecniques as required, which will be hardly ever if you are consisitent and predictable with punishments

Answer 8

Maybe try family therapy?? That is all I can really think of unless you want to send them off to like boot camp or something like that

As someone else said you could try throwing away everything they leave laying around or giving it to charity, my mom did that with my little sisters stuff because she use to leave her stuff laying around and after about a month she stopped leaving her things around the house and kept them in her room

Answer 9

Sit down with them and tell them you love them dearly. Try to explain as best you can why you need for them to work as a team. Give them a big hug. Sometimes when kids go crazy they are trying to tell you something...

Answer 10

spank them and keep doing it till they get the message. or you could send them to a boarding school for problem kids. do not listen to any one who says "nanny 911" that is a pile of BS. YOU have to start being the parent and stand up to your kids.

Answer 11

try talking to them calmly tell them how there behavior is making you feel .that you are all on the same team. reward them when they show good behavior. don't wash there clothes unless they put them in the hamper don't wash there dishes unless they are in the sink. don't buy them any food treats or sodas or anything they really want only the food they have to eat. until they earn it by cleaning up after themselves keeping there rooms clean.