The different priorities of men and women?

Question

I'm hoping this generality does not hold true, and I would be happy to hear from anyone who contradicts it.

I was maried for 10 years, and I adored my wife. After she asked me for a divorce, I realized we had different visions of the place of a "partner". In my mind, she was an end in herself, important just because she was her. After listening to her reasons for divorce (money, etc.) I realized I was only a means to what she wanted in the world, and that she was more interested in gaining those things then trying to get them with me. Since then I have seen the same pattern in the words and behavior of most of the women I have interacted with. Without any ethical judgement, since it may simply be a difference in function of the feminine, is this inevitably the focus women? Will women always value what I might do for them more than me as such?

Answer 1

Mmm, this is a very good question and I'm glad you asked it. Every women wants to feel safe with her Husband and every man wants a faithful wife.

Let me elaborate. Not every women wants a man with allot of money, he could be working as janitor but as long as his financially stable she will feel protected and safe. It's hard to think about love when there's no money for the children. Things like dentist, clothes, school supplies, toys, food, glasses, medicine etc. Even if she doesn't care about money for the sake of the any children she might have it would be in the children's best interest for her to be with a man who is financially stable, not rich, stable.

Every man wants a faithful wife, he wants to know the kids are his. No matter how much he adores her it will be hard for him to love her if she's sleeping with half the town and the kids turn out to be not his.

Do you see where I'm going with this? I think men and women have the same priorities, the continuation of their genetic legacy. I hope this helps you.

I think your wife did love you but perhaps and I hope I'm not being hurtful, she didn't feel....safe?

Answer 2

I am a woman who has not only always taken care of herself financially but supported my loved ones also. Husband #1 went to college and waited tables off and on when he felt like it; I took care of normal day-to-day living expenses including rent and car payments. Husband #2 was a basically a roommate and only paid exactly one-half of what the house payment, etc. was and this was only when he was working. The man I have been dating now is generous but doesn't make much money either so I often treat us to a night out or buy the groceries to give him a good meal. This done, by the way on a modest secretary's salary that has fluctuated between $15,000 and $23,000 a year. It has never been my goal to achieve financial stability, but mutual affection and dedication.

Answer 3

This is a great question! I can honestly answer that no, a lot of women aren't like that; but there are some who will marry for a paycheck etc...if a woman knows who she is, what she wants, has values and morals etc...then she'll marry for the right reasons which is to be a partner and grow with them. I'm seeing someone who's been married to women who are just like what you're describing; and they aren't happy and are in financial distress. I'm a tightwad myself so I'm not materialistic etc..

Answer 4

I can only speak from my own point of view. I have heard women talk about marrying for money or marrying a man who can take them places and buy them things. I married the forst time partly because I knew that he would be able to take good care of me and that I would not have to work when we had children. I mean, I DID love him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but I didn't really want to struggle.

This time I am marrying specifically for love and love alone. I know that I can take care of myself and my children financially and, in fact, haven't gotten dime one for child support in 18 months. The man I will marry has taken on the financial burden of another man's family as his own. He is worthy of my respect and admiration for so many reasons and that's just one of them.

I think some women and in specific cultures a woman is made to think that she needs to "marry well" while she still has her looks because otherwise she will be left out in the cold when her husband leaves her for a younger woman. Men do that you know. Just as women look for money, men look for youth and beauty. You've seen those old ugly men with lovely young wives, wearing diamonds and furs. I think that's one of the reasons that some women are always looking to find greener pastures with another man. They feel that love may come and go, but money will allow them to at least live a more comfortable life. A lot of women put up with very abusive marriages just to maintain the cash connection. Sad, but true.

But - There are plenty of women, and men, in the world who value their partner just because and money has nothing to do with it - either does health, looks, social position, job, education, etc. Integrity and true love are out there.

Answer 5

it truly is the form between a hungry human being's ingesting from a street-aspect save and the cock-tail social gathering in a Saturday club. no human being would devour indiscriminately on the club Dinner. the shop keeper of a sweet-shoppe is customary with that he could no longer devour each and each of the goodies kept on the marketplace. After a tiring adventure i'd more suitable have an interest to position asleep in the laps of my sweety, it truly is more suitable romantic, simply by the undeniable fact that's mine and that i favor no longer to be hurry. you're speaking about married and unmarried.

Answer 6

Generally speaking, initially in a relationship, women look for what a man can provide while a man looks for what the woman looks like. The importnace diminishes as you get to know the person as a person. Hang in there. With your attitude you will find a good woman.

Answer 7

Good question. I hope my response is understandable.

I have a live in boyfriend now. ( first in 17 years). He's use to giving all the women in his life all his time and money.
I'm the type of woman who has gone without!!
I get very upset when we agrue, it's mostly about his ex wife or all his girlfriends! Anyways, when he's told me all he's done for them, and now comes out and says that he was attracted to ME because I never had, so he feels he never has to give! That makes me feel not so as important as the others! Am I making sense?

He's good at waiting on me when I'm sick, but honesty, I'm use to careing for myself, so it get's on my nerves. :-)

I'd like for a man to treat me as good as he has others in the past..........am I wrong to want that after being single so long?

Answer 8

. Men are hard wired to reproduce. This attracts them to women with hips suited for carrying young and breast suited for feeding young. They are not conscious of why they like boobs and butts, they just do. Modern women see it as shallow but play into it anyway by dressing in a way that accentuates their figures or even gong so far as to reconfigure themselves to what men find attractive.
Women are hard wired to nest. They instinctively look for the man who can provide the best possible nest and protect her and the young from danger. They are attracted to power. In the past that meant a strong muscular body. Today money=power. Whether a woman is consciously aware of it or not she is attracted to this power.

Answer 9

I can only speak for myself, but I would expect that most women want someone who can provide for her, and if we are really lucky we'll end up with someone who wants to give us the things we want and not just what we need.
I don't mind helping or contributing financially but I feel like ultimately it is the mans responsiblity to provide the necessities.
Women value the total package...deep down inside most women want the fairytales a man who will sweep them off their feet and give them the world.

Answer 10

negative---these are just the women u have met recently

I would rather be with someone because I love them than for any other reason...and I do mean for any other reason...if they have money or not is irrelevant...and actually I find the men with less money are more prone to be open, caring, sharing, loving, etc. because they are not obsessed with their money....I prefer just a simple southern man---not a complex city dweller