we have been together for 17 years, 2 kids, but somethings missing. she works at a bar/resteraunt, 4 days a week till 12 at night, on her days off, she leaves at 6pm comes home at 12:30
at night. i really only see her 15 hours a week. their is no real sex,
but she says that this is the type of person she is. that she has to shop everyday, hates sex,wants to be alone,and does not like to do things. but she never says where she is, and her phone im not aloud to use or see. am i wrong to feel like she is cheating on me.
or can it be something else.
2007-01-15 04:38:12 · 36 answers · asked by crazy 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She's trying hard to keep her secrets...That should tell you that she's not being honest with you and that there is definitely something going on. You have accepted this behavior for a long time, why the issues with it now? It has been said that the person who first contemplates that the mate might be unfaithful is the one who has in fact been unfaithful...especially in a relationship where actions like you mentioned have been tolerated and over time have become accepted as the norm.
2007-01-15 04:48:49 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not say she is cheating on you, but rather living an entirely separate life. Probably has an entire family some where else. Where is she from 6 to 12:30? Every day she does this? Give me a break. You need to man up and follow her azz or hire someone to follow her. Get some pictures of what she is doing, then divorce her cheating azz.
2007-01-15 04:50:14 · answer #2 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the phone thing sounds suspicious, if she didn't have anything to hide she shouldn't mind you going through the phone. Also I don't think many husbands would stand for their wives going out without telling them where they are going. As for going out on her days off to go shopping, were is she shopping that stays open till 12:30?
All of this could have an honest explanation, but without her explaining any of your questions you will never know. As her husband you have the right to ask, if she fights you on her where-abouts you have the right to be suspicious.
2007-01-15 06:41:25 · answer #3 · answered by Archangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, something is definitely up, especially with the phone who is a forbidden zone to you. Unless she works part time for the CIA, FBI, Israeli Mossad, or perhaps has a secret super hero identity (Bat girl, or Super Woman), there is no reason why you are not a full part of her life. In any case, she is not treating you with love and respect, and it seems there is no communication or intimacy here. Get yourself together, sit her down, have all your arguments prepared and ready. Make sure to know yourself what you want, and see if she is willing to work with you on this marriage. After you try all you can, without success, to save your marriage, it is up to you if you want to stay or leave.
Good Luck.
2007-01-15 04:47:42 · answer #4 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oooohhh, that's not good. Whatever her reason, it's not good. No sex, being shady, not telling you where she's going, those are all signs that she's cheating but don't be too hasty! If things have been like this your entire marriage I wouldn't be surprised but if this is a sudden change, something is definitely up. It sounds to me like she's pushing you away. Maybe she feels neglected by you and she's doing all this to make you notice her, miss her. Or maybe she is cheating, either way, sit her down, tell her how you feel and ask her to be honest...But when you ask her to be honest be ready to accept what she has to say...
2007-01-15 04:43:02 · answer #5 · answered by Shawni 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am sure there are some valid explanations and you should give her the benefit of the doubt and try to talk to her.
don't accuse her of anything, just let her know that you are there for her and that you love her, and that if she needs time or space you understand but that you would like more communication about what she is up to. let her know that you want her to be safe.
otherwise, get an investigator to get the scoop, but beware cuz if she found out and wasn't doing anything i am sure you would not have a wife anymore.
and remember, she may not want you to touch the phone,---and, as if you let her tell you what you are allowed to do---- but if you really wanted to see it, you can find a way or make a way!
2007-01-15 04:45:57 · answer #6 · answered by don't be rude. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been together for 17yrs you should know if this is a change in her behavior. If it is then you two should probably seek some help. Sounds to me like she's thinking about leaving. You need to find out why so it can be fixed. Good luck
2007-01-15 04:43:12 · answer #7 · answered by irlefw 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have you talk to your wife about your suspicions. Ask her whats the deal, because it sounds like to me that she is hiding something and you have the right to be alittle concerned. If yall are married there is no such thing as secrets and she should have thought of that before she had a family and 2 kids.
2007-01-15 04:43:02 · answer #8 · answered by homie_j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be cheating or it could be she is looking for alone time. Either way you are getting shafted. What's the point in being married to someone who doesn't want to be around you. My advise would be to move on, but I realize that is easier said than done.
2007-01-15 04:57:40 · answer #9 · answered by Cyber Stalker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The phone thing sounds suspicious. Have you tried following her or have one of your close friends follow her and see where she goes the days she's not working? You may also want to sit down and talk to her. Tell her exactly how you feel.
2007-01-15 04:44:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋