My boyfriend recently told me that he was with his friends and their wives and they were telling him "You can't leave us. You can't leave." My boyfriend is moving from New Jersey to be with me. He's 29 and I'm 19. He made this decision to move to be with me, so that we can get married. I'm still in college and the cost of living is much lower here in the south, he made this decision to move. I never asked him to leave his home and family, he wanted to. So they are like "No, you cant leave. You're gonna miss our birthdays, football games. Everything, well, you have to come back in May, June for this birthday. Why can't she move here? You've got friends you're leaving. You can't go." So whats he supposed to do? Stay a bachelor just for the sake of having friends. I cant move, I'm in college. So he should stay in New Jersey so he can go to their kids birthday parties? WOW.
2007-01-15 04:08:29 · 16 answers · asked by brittneyafoster 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Am I overreacting? I just feel like...what a selfish thing to say...why cant I move? I should move up there so that they can keep their friend? What if their friend is 29 years old and wants to move to be with his fiancee and get married? Ugh
2007-01-15 04:10:16 · update #1
Don't get me wrong, I understand they are close friends with my fiancee and they hate to see him go, but he's moving for the better. He's moving to be with someone he loves, thats something you are happy for someone for and you wish them the best in life...
2007-01-15 04:13:55 · update #2
Tell him that he should move away, just to get a feel of how living some place else without all his family and friends. He can still visit, call, email and send gifts. He's not moving to another country. He's moving a few states away!
Why can't THEY come out and visit? It sounds like to me that they're just going to miss him a lot and will miss him being so near. They'll get over it, especially if he tells them, "In love, you learn to give and take. This is one of my gives. She's going to school. I don't want to take her away from someplace she's already doing great at. I'll be back! I'm JUST a phone call away."
2007-01-15 04:21:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should not stay where he's living just for the sake of some selfish friends. I moved from NY to FL and my friends and family were heartbroken when i left BUT they loved me enough to be supportive and realize it's what i have to do. If this is his decision then they should support it. He can't live his life just for his friends. Does he want to loose his love just for a few birthday parties and football games? I know from experience that being friends doesn't end with distance unless you are lazy. If he moves he can always go visit and bring you with him. No, you aren't being a baby, his friends are.
2007-01-15 12:13:42 · answer #2 · answered by blhenne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What.... are his friends 10 or 12???? Surely adults aren't carrying on this way!!! You have a goal. You are in college, and you need to stay there. You are using common sense that will benefit both of you when you say the cost of living will be lower. He is a grown man and he is making a grown man's decision. His friends need to understand that this is a wonderful opportunity for growth in a new place and it will allow a loving relationship to develop further. And what... they think we don't have football games in the South?
2007-01-15 12:21:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your BF is 29, he is an adult, and wherever he moves to is HIS business. He is entitled to live his own life and not revolve everything around his family. I was engaged briefly to a man several years ago, but broke it off when I realized EVERYTHING in our lives would revolve around HIS family. Example: we had to have a baby within 2 years of marriage, so his aunts would not be upset. I could go on but you get the idea. I am glad for you that your man is not like this, but please wait till you finish college to get married.
2007-01-15 12:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by MeRmAiD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let Time Tell... If He Wants To Be With U And Get Married then he will move for ya'll to have a life together...
2007-01-15 12:22:53 · answer #5 · answered by B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you aren't selfish to say that. I just think that his friends are upset because their friend is leaving to be with his girlfriend. Don't beat yourself up about it because his friends will have to understand that it was his decision to make. I think that you should be very happy because your boyfriend CHOSE to stay with you rather than his friends. Hey, this shows you how much he really loves you.
2007-01-15 12:16:06 · answer #6 · answered by sMarTie_gUrl001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow the 29-19 diffrence just made me stop reading the question but Good Luck wit that
2007-01-15 12:35:12 · answer #7 · answered by HaHa Thats Funny!!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves you and wants to be with you, they need to understand that he is making a sacrifice so you can continue to go to college and you two can be together at the same time.
2007-01-15 12:15:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your now being a baby! His friends are, if he wants to live a happy life and get married, his friends are holding him back. I'd say they weren't even his "friends" if they are holding him back from his 1 true love.
2007-01-15 12:14:25 · answer #9 · answered by sillyshas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about what his friends are saying. They're gonna miss him that's for sure, but HE'S the one that made the decision. You didn't pull his arm or anything. don't worry about them.
2007-01-15 12:14:57 · answer #10 · answered by Angel_Face 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋