A buddy of mine has put up with all sorts of crap from his wife. Recently she became very aggressive and disagreeable toward him and it emerged she was having an affair. He's done everything to try and fix things in the relationship and she is constantly walking all over him. I want to hit her with my car, but realistically there is little anyone can do. She is now spreading lies about him, dirtying his name and so on. He's the nicest bloke I know and I hope she dies slowly, but that aside, any suggestions on how he can protect his pention/assets and also get revenge!? REVENGE mainly!
2007-01-15 03:52:56 · 19 answers · asked by Servechilled 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oooooh, get you..........Why dont you start dating him and make her jealous.
2007-01-15 03:58:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Good on you for caring so much about your friend.
It sounds like he has grounds for divorce based on unreasonable behaviour and also having an affair. Whether she'll easily agree to this is another matter. I don't know how the law lies but I think she'll be entitled to less of a settlement if she's caused the marriage breakdown but he's unlikely to walk away without giving her anything.
It's certainly worth him gettting hard evidence of her misbehaviour before going for divorce as well as evidence that he's tried to make it work - so perhaps him paying for Relate or something.
Revenge is never a good idea because it involves looking back rather than moving on.
If you want to support him then help him move on with dignity and in as straightforward a way as possible rather than encouraging any dirty confrontations or revenge plans.
If he refuses your help and insists on staying with her (love is blind I'm afraid) then all you can do is be there for him when he finally does realise she's no good for him.
2007-01-15 12:00:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please no revenge. Will do him no good. Should he get carried he might do something he will regret for the rest of his life. Just say a chirpy goodbye and leave it at that. Sounds like a nasty piece of work this wife of his and i myself have no time for people who mess their partners around but no revenge ok. He will get over it, meet someone kinder or maybe give woman a break for a while. Revenge is not the answer, he cannot gain the people she has run him down to's respect again. Nothing to gain by it. I wish him well and he is lucky to have a friend like you . take care.:))
2007-01-15 12:03:01 · answer #3 · answered by Duisend-poot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may be trying to drive him away in the belief that she will come out of a divorce settlement quite well off. I'd advise him to see a divorce lawyer. he doesn't have to get divorced of course, if he thinks thats what shes after. I hope there are no children involved. As for his reputation, the best thing is that people who know him wont believe it, eventually she will be found out and anyone who didn't know him and did believe it will realise that it was wrong.
He's lucky he's got a good friend who cares about him. Don't let it put him (or you) off finding love, its worth the search.
Divorce is hard and expensive. For his own peace of mind he needs to know why she has turned on him.
2007-01-15 12:14:09 · answer #4 · answered by Em 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being married there aren't a lot of legal ways he can fully protect himself. However:
If their house is in his name, then a lock change may be in order, simple and effective.
Black bagging clothes/possessions to make it clear she's not welcome.
If he's worried about finances, his best bet is to transfer all his cash (savings etc) into a mate's account for a bogus reason (golf holiday or something) and transfer it back once any solicitors have tried to screw him. It's not a lot, but its a slight help.
Also, divorce settlements can often ride on the reasons behind the decision. If she's been playing him then it can only work in his favour, if you can prove it of course.
Plus there's also sueing for slander??
Hope that may be of some use...
2007-01-15 12:07:05 · answer #5 · answered by eq_mastermind 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she wants out of the marriage but wants to take half his money with her.
Any revenge will just guarantee she'll get the lion's share of the assetts.
You are not much of a friend if you encourage him to take revenge and he is not much of a man to let her use him as a doormat.
2007-01-15 12:00:31 · answer #6 · answered by Bill G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you must feel, but this situation is really none of your business. This is their problem and they need to fix things up. It's their marriage not yours. All you can do is be a friend and shoulder to lean on for him. You don't know what really happens behind their closed doors. They can put one face when they are outside, but have an entirely different face while indoors. Let him be a man and deal with his problems.
2007-01-15 12:02:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a good divorce attorney. Make sure that in the divorce agreement it is stated that she is to have no claim to his pension. I did that with my exhusband. He could not hold onto a job and I was able to. As far as the assets go, marital property 50-50 unless he can prove it was his prior to marriage.
2007-01-15 12:00:10 · answer #8 · answered by derose 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just corner him one day and ask him why he likes to be treated like a doormat. I mean really try to make him explain to you why it is better staying with this chick than starting over. The revenge would be for him to leave her and find a woman he can really be happy with.
2007-01-15 11:58:46 · answer #9 · answered by javelin 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
He needs a good lawyer. And although you hate this woman I would not recommend revenge. Good Luck
2007-01-15 12:07:34 · answer #10 · answered by little lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Revenge is bad and unhealthy....
On the other hand if it comes to divorce, it's best to get concrete proof of everything that's going on....especially her infidelity!
Until he realises she's bad for him, there's nothing you can do...
2007-01-15 11:59:39 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋