my marriage is over but i cant seem to stop wondering what she is doing or who she is with, the funny part is that i feel nothing towards her but i guess being that ive been with her for 12 years and married for 8 its hard to know that she is with someone else. how do i deal with this? i want to just forget it all and get it off my mind. HHEEEEELLLLPPPPP!!!!!!!
2007-01-15 02:51:33 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Welcome to the world of divorce. You need to just move on. Get hobbies, go out with friends and when your ready a date. If living alone is driving you nuts get a male roomate. This is the beginning of your new life. Have fun.
2007-01-15 02:56:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you're feeling is completely normal. Although you might not feel anything for her anymore, you just can't erase someone who's been in your life for 12 years. You have to give it some time. Get involved and busy with other things. Join a gym, or volunteer at a boys club / big brother, go out with your friends, meet new people, pick up a hobby, etc. The busier you are, the less time you'll have to think about your ex. Good luck!
2007-01-15 03:13:26 · answer #2 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need counseling and help to get past this and start to heal and to move on with your life without her.... Alot of this is probably insecurity on your part and feelings you are not wanting to deal with... You need to let her live your life and you need to live yours is all I am saying.... I wish you the best in getting the hellp you need and getting past this. How long have you two been what you call over!!! Maybe your should try dating again or meeting new people and friends to hang out with. Hope this helps some:) I can understand how you are feeling.
2007-01-15 02:59:57 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am going throuhgh the same thing...we were married almost four years and even though it was an abusive relationship i still wonder about him.....he was very aggressive and just down right mean to me and i am so glad i am away from that but i still find myself worrying about him....i even went as far as when we seperate a while back i let him move back in because he didn't have any where else to go.....washing clothes even makes me think about him and i wonder if he has somewhere to wash his clothes.....the only thing that helps me is the closure of the divorce and i moved anything that reminded me of him out of the house...then i just try to stay busy and i actually started back to school...try finding something that you like to do and wrao yourself up in it.....the more your mind is occupied with something else the less time you have to worry about her...
2007-01-15 03:08:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its natural for you to wonder what your ex is doing and what she is upto.
I got divorced 3 years ago and although i have no feelings for my ex, i do still wonder what hes upto and would love to get some info on him.
You were with her for 12 years, dont force yourself to block her outta your mind because that never works.
Ofcourse dont get obsessed over wanting to know what shes upto either.
Get on with your life and the curiosity will start to calm down naturally over time.
Good Luck!
2007-01-15 02:58:08 · answer #5 · answered by Flower Power 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My gut feeling would be to say to try to move on. Have you been dating? Keep your life very busy. Are you exercising? Take a class. Fill your life and then maybe you will start thinking less and less of her. . One other thought is to maybe write everything down to get it off your mind. I had a friend that would write stuff down and then burn it! Hope that helps
2007-01-15 02:57:49 · answer #6 · answered by winslow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the call to get professional counselling...make the move to get up and get active. Physical activity is a great stress-buster and I found that if I let myself have those "crazy thoughts" when I was out walking that my body just released that stress and I always felt a little calmer.
2007-01-15 03:04:35 · answer #7 · answered by windsorcaper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do to relieve these thoughts is fill your time with work or play keep yourself busy and time will heal you. It won't take it completely away but it will help. The reason it hurts is to make you think and be more careful choosing your next mate.
2007-01-15 02:59:41 · answer #8 · answered by dlk426 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that this is normal to feel. Maybe your feeling like she is just moving on to easily or something like that. A relationship that last as long as that is not going to leave your mind as quickly as you would like it to. Are you sure you do not have any feelings for her as you say? If you don't then don't dwell it will get easier.
2007-01-15 03:13:39 · answer #9 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It WILL pass with time.
We cannot just sever a part of our lives and expect the process to end there.
What you are going through is normal and temporary
2007-01-18 21:27:11 · answer #10 · answered by tillermantony 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋