i can't get any support from my boyfriend?

Question

I'm 24 weeks pregnant, and for the last 3 weeks, my boyfriend has been going out nearly everynight. he comes home from work, gets ready, has a sandwich for dinner and is out the door again. i've told him that i need to spend time with him, but its just going in one ear and out the other.
after Xmas, he came back on night at 4.30AM after saying he's going to be back early (i.e, b4 11pm). in the morning when he woke up he was going on and on and on about this girl Cyd. just this last week, she's been txting and phoning him non-stop and when i asked to meet her he blew his top. in all fairness to him, i had said that she's a cow (nicely put 4 u guys on here) thats trying to get into his pants, and now he won't let me meet any1 that may know her.
i feel terrible for doing this, but last night when he fell asleep, i looked at his phone. he's deleated all his messages, and all his call list. i wish i hadn't cuz no only does it make me really paranoid, but i feel super guilty now!

just before we went to sleep yesterday, he told me that yes she IS after him (so look at that,i were right all along!) but he will not try txtn her less or phoning her less. i need support during this time in my pregnancy as i am terrorfied that i'm going to lose the baby, but i tell him and he don't care! how can i show him that i'm not some evil little pregnant woman thats at home, and that im still his girlfriend who loves him to bits? he never says i love u to me anymore, and if i have sex with him i just feel dirty now as it feels like he dnt wana do it with me anymore. can someone PLEASE help me? offer any books or articals that may help him understand how im feeling at the mo? or why i'm so annoyed about this girl?

Answer 1

You have a right to be suspicious. I would talk to him without being confrontational. And then I would enlist my family and friend in support because he may not be committed to this relationship. I hope, for your sake, he is trying to sow some wild oats before settling down with that baby. Best of Luck to you lady.
Right now. Call your parents and your friends. You need support. You need to dump his sorry butt. Your parents are a great place to start. They love you like nobody else.

Answer 2

It sounds like he's cheating. You have to think, why would he not want you to see his text messages and why would he delete his call log, duh, he's hiding something. I know this is a real sensitive time for you but you don't need any kind of stress in your life right now. This situation is taking your mind away from where it should be, you and your baby. I personally don't understand why your boyfriend even had a female friend that he talks to on the phone all the time or texts. My fiance knows better than that, the only time he was ever talking on the phone to a ex or a friend was when we first met and that came to a hault once we were actually together. That is so disrespectful on his part and on your part for still being with him because you're allowing him to do the things he's doing. And if he blows up at you for asking questions and won't let you meet this female and anyone that knows her, come on now.

Answer 3

Sounds like yopu are in a right mess an am srry for hearing this dilema. Dont feel too guilty about going through his phone. You want some answers that he wont give to you, so all you was doing was trying to find out for yourself. Obviously you are going to be paranoid cause you are pregnant with his child and want to make a good life for you and the baby. Is he happy to be having the baby with you? Has it scared him? It sounds to me like he is going out as much as he can and enjoying what seems like an almost single life. Maybe this is his way of showing you he is scared and not ready to be a father? If the boot was on the other foot with other blokes with you, how would he react? It does sound like he has a dirtly little secret that he dont want you to know about. Hiding things from you and deleting his messaages anmd stuff. You need to ask yourself is this going to be good for you and the baby when is born? Are you going to be left alone to fend for you and the little one. Maybe make a list of all the good things he does for you and the bad things he does to upset you. Which one out ways which. You need to be 100% sure on this for both you and the baby, because when it come along you are goingto have a lot of responsibility and are going to be stuck in a lot more than you are already. Sit him down and have a chat with him. You have said it goes in one ear then out the other so maybe your approaching him in the wrong way i.e moaning at him etc. But in all honesty if he cares for you and respects you, under no circumstances would he entertain calls and texts from another woman. I hope this helps with your thinking and hasnt given you more of a burden. Good luck and i hope all goes well for you.

Answer 4

First of all I want to tell you that you are on hella strong woman because his *** would of been out by now if i were you. Now that doesnt not mean that it is a best decision. I am going to tell you something that I cant lie about but most likely he is talking to Cyd and it looks like it may be very serious. Just for the fact that he probably spend Xmas with her because he showed up at your house at 4:30 am because thats when stuff is over anyways is untolerable and unacceptable!!!! You are strong for still staying with him. If you do care for a baby a lot and you have a feeling that you may lose him or her then let him know WHO IS THA PREGNANT WOMAN IN THE HOUSE!!! If he is not going to change his behavior, appolozige to you and completely make it up to you, you shouldnt let him pass a doorway. You need plenty of rest , love and care around you and you not getting it from this man. Matta fact he is making you more stressed out then you need to be. Please think of yourself and your babe and if you have to stop seeing him just while you carrying a babe then fine, be with it. I know its easy to say but at this point babes and especially you health is whats important!! Stay safe and healthy!

Answer 5

he had no right ot give his phone number to another girl when he is supposedly commited to you and certainly had no right to blow his top;p sounds very immature way of handling things. Why are you waiting on him hand and foot anyway ; what did his last servant die of? Sounds like this pregnancy is scaring him and possibly making him feel trapped (isn't that the same for a lot of women though and they just get on with it) but if he hasn't got the guts to voice his fears to you then he is not a man. I think it is time you guys actually went out together - when /why did you stop 'dating' each other? Even with a baby there are still places to go as a family. tell him he can't have his cake and eat it- if he wants the single life then boot him out; he cannot be single and part of a couple and ultimately your life would be strss free without him.

Answer 6

Sounds like your boyfriend is cheating.... if he blows his top because you call him, deletes all his messages, has NO call list... come on! Have you checked the phone bill??? I looked at my husbands, just out of curiosity, and he has a whole buncha calls from work and from me but nothing else. I looked at his phone (just after reading this) and his call list is there and so are all the messages (i didn't read them mind you). If a man goes the extend of deleting it all, then he's hiding something. Men are lazy by nature and can't be bothered to **** like this unless they have to. Trust me, i've been in a few relationships and they are all the same LOL. Not to mention, my husband doesnt like going out without me, let alone while i'm pregnant (I'm 36w now). OMG it's unheard of. You and your man need to have a talk... if he's doing something ot make you feel paranoid generally it's for good reason, especially if you were not paranoid to begin with. Listen to your gut, it's always right.

Answer 7

I really feel for you.A woman needs support when pregnant and you arnt getting any.You must really love this guy as i couldn't put up with his behaviour.You need to think of yourself and your baby.And on the other hand some guys just cant cope with pregnancy but that doesn't necessarily mean he don't want your unborn or you just try and have a good talk to him about how he is treating you and explain that things arnt easy for you either after all being pregnant is exhausting and can leave you feeling a bit insecure and down.I hope get the result you wanting and look after yourself.Goodluck.xxxxx

Answer 8

I truly hope that it's just his way of releasing his nervousness about being a father soon. I hope he's not interested in this Cyd either. Why doesn't he want you to meet her? That sounds suspicious in itself. Maybe she doesn't know that he's got a pregnant girlfriend, and if so, Why not?

This is all a bit fishy to me, especially the phone thing if this is not normal for him (I don't know, he may be very efficient with his texting, and delete his lists regularly), but there may still be good reason for it. (Don't jump the gun, as this could be more damaging than good). It may just be his stress relief, but it doesn't excuse him of ignoring you. Don't tell him about looking at his phone, btw.

Speak to your family and possibly one of his mates (If you trust any of them) and get them to sort him out. He's not giving you nearly enough attention (If my g/f was pregnant I'd be looking after her as much as possible. I wouldn't go out for a night!). From what I can see from here, he's not ready for parenthood!

All I can say to you is, be very careful and I wish you the best of luck. I'm on your side but just don't jump the gun.

Answer 9

maybe he has now just started realising the responsibility that comes with having a child and that he will have to make a commitment and he is scared. its not your fault, some men just dont like commitment, they get scared. best thing i would say prepare yourself emotionally and stop relying on him all the time try and be indepedent and get close to your friends and family. and incase things go wrong then atleast you will be mentally prepared.
you need to take care of yourself and avoid stressing about it. this will harm you and most of all harm your baby. am sure you want the best for your child and this is something that you have to do i know it may sound hurting and tough but you have to care for yourrself now. if he is willing to support you he will, otherwise you can never force a guy to do something he does not want to do.
and because you have no idea whats going on, dont assume just yet you may end up creating problems with him. get busy, get something to do that gets your mind out of the whole situation.
be strong all will be well soon.
bless.

Answer 10

Dump his ***. Run from this relationship as fast as you can. He's cheating and not being too secretive about it anymore. You and that baby deserve more than this. If it's his place, pack everything of yours up and find a relative to stay with until you can get a place of your own. If you don't work, he thinks he has you stuck there. He is having his cake and eating it too, so to speak. Do you want him bringing some kind of STD home to you?? If you contract an STD from him while still pregnant, depending on what it is, it can cause damage to your baby either now or during the birth. Run as fast as you can from this dope. He doesn't deserve you.

Answer 11

Mmmm, I can see why you are getting paraniod about this, I think my missis would be aswell. She is heavilly pregnant with our 2nd child, and I couldnt imagine her going through something like this, especially at this time.
If he wont let you meet her, get her number of his phone when he gets a text and call her. it may not be entirely the right thing to do, but it may put you at rest.
Either that or sit him down and give him a damn good talking to.
{Q- is this your first child with him?}
tell him whats on your mind and see if you can get any reassurance from him.
If this is your first child....maybe he is trying to express his desire for freedom, as it is a daunting time { especially for you}.
remind him what he has got, and you need the support from him.
It's a great time in our lives to bring life to another, and we should respect the reasoning behind why we make that decision.
Yes ....child birth can and does add it's own problems and stresses, but nothing we cant handle as individuals or a team.
I am sorry you are feeling like this, i am sure he is just letting his hair down and not messing about.
Keep your chin up, and dont let it stress you out too much as this will be transferred to your child.
Hope it works itself out for you both.
Oh....and hope all goes well with the birth.
congratulations....{and DONT feel guilty!}