Can you ferberize a 4 month old?

Question

My 4 month old goes to bed well but wakes at night. She is not hungry (she hardly eats), she just wakes up and is not able to fall back asleep. Pacifiers, rocking, etc. does not work for her. Please do not admonish me for this method. I'm simply looking into it. Crying it out for a little while works for my child when she goes down to bed and I just wanted to find out more.

Answer 1

I did the Ferber method when my son was 6 months old and it took about 2 weeks for it to work....but boy did it work!! I would suggest reading the book, if you haven't already, b/c some people who don't understand it will just leave their kid to cry and cry for hours or just admonish the system all together. I'm not saying you would or do, I'm just saying that people who are against Ferberizing don't understand the system. It's about teaching your child to fall asleep on their own by laying them down very drowsy and to give them a chance to fall asleep instead of running in at the first cry.

It sounds like that's what you're doing by letting her cry a little and if she goes back to bed then I think it's working. Do you put her down asleep or drowsy? If you start putting her down drowsy, it's going to be difficult for the first few nights but she will catch on. Also, Ferber says to not rock her to sleep because then YOU become a sleep prop that she needs in order to fall asleep. I think doing it at 4 months is fine. I, personally, don't think any sleep systems are needed until 6 months but that's just a personal choice. Like I said, I highly recommend reading the book-he has a new one that has been revised since he wrote the original back in the day. Good luck!

Answer 2

I tried when my son was 5 months, 6 months and almost 9 months and it didnt work until he was older. It took 3 nights of REAL CONSISTENCY but it worked. I know that it is hard but 4 months is still very young and i havent heard a ton of stories of it working this young. Man, I thought my son was never going to sleep at night when i got him to at 9 months but now when i hear stories of 2 year olds that wake at night i feel so lucky. I would say wait a few more months...but not as long as it takes him to be able to get out of his crib. I dont think it is a bad method. My son now sleeps all nights and has wonderful happy days the next day and the days where he may wake at night every once in a while hes so cranky the next day. Your child will not be scarred for life. Mine loves me to death. I'd say hold out a little and get someone to babysit so you can take a long nap!

Answer 3

My daughter is 4 months old today, and she occassionally wakes up at night. I get up to feed her (that's usually what's wrong) and change her, then put her to bed and she's fine. Sometimes though she'll just want to cry. If that's the case, I put her in her crib and set an alarm for about 15 minutes. After 15 minutes, I'll go check on her to be sure she's okay. And usually I find her asleep. Good luck. I know it can be rough. I'm right there with ya!

Answer 4

Before you do anything you should take her to the doctor to rule out any medical problems, such as ear infections and things like that, and if your doctor says it's ok, then go ahead. I always used to critisize people that did this to their babies until I had my son and he would not sleep at night, he would wake up every hour, so I took him to the doctor, found out he had an ear infection. But because he had been waking up so much and nursing everytime he had formed a habit of waking up and relying on nursing to go back to sleep. So I bought a book on this method, tried it, and after only a few days my son was sleeping through the night for 12 hours straight and he has been ever since! So I definatly sympathise with you, and would never critisize a mother, or father, again!

Answer 5

Babies are individually "able" to be Ferberized between three months and six months. No baby is developmentally capable of soothing him/herself before three months. Some do not develop this ability until six months (and you have to teach them, obviously). My baby wasn't ready the first time we tried (at around three months), but was fine with it at four months when we tried again.
It's also possible she's just not getting enough sleep during the day (babies who don't sleep enough during the day often don't sleep well at night - sounds counterintuitive, but it's true). How often is she waking? Once? Multiple times? It could be that right now, she's just one of those babies that isn't going to sleep more than five or six hours at a stretch (I, apparently, was like that). It might work if you slowly move her naps and bedtimes up to a time that works more easily for you, and see what happens. Some babies are just early birds, though, and are going to get up early regardless (even if early ends up being 4am!).

Answer 6

I think the crying thing works in phases. My daughter would cry it out to go down until she began to teethe, then she needed to be rocked. Now when she wakes in the night, I lie her back down, cover her completely with a light blanket, and pat her back just a moment. When it is dark again, and she is warm, she will go right back to sleep. But If her teeth hurt, forget it. Some babies teethe early, and it only bothers them at night...make sure that is not the issue. Rub some numbing lotion on her gums, and if she stops crying quickly, that may be the problem. You know your baby. Do what you feel is right. As new moms we always want to make sure we are doing the right thing, but we usually are. Trust yourself. You know what she needs.

Answer 7

You can do that, but I waited until 6 months. You should really get the book because it explains the method very well, not the simplified version that everyone espouses. Ferber did NOT reverse his position, just clarified it because he was being misinterpreted. I have read both versions and his message remains the same. I agree that you should have her ears checked, and also consider that she may be teething. It is a very loving thing to be able to teach your babe to self soothe. Get the book, read it and then make your decision.

Answer 8

As long as the crying is not prolonged (More than 10 minutes) or if they are not screaming/crying really hard it is fine to let them cry and fuss a little. When my son was a newborn he would not go back to sleep so there was a couple of times that the only way I could get him to sleep was to put him in his swing...he slept until his next feeding.

Answer 9

no way. even ferber (some guy who never gave birth! - yea that's advice I'll take *sarcasm*) has changed his mind over the years. it's just not natural. babies cry because something is wrong. have you checked her diaper? my son needed several diaper changes a night at that age. is she too cold? hot? teething? growth spurt pains? sick? all you are doing by ignoring her cries is teaching them that they can't count on you. after she just spent 9 months listening to and feeling you move 24/7 - now you are just going to ignore her. and you'll wonder why she won't listen to you when she is 14. how horrible.

trust your mother instincts. it's messed up.

Answer 10

i personally wouldnt. but everyone has different methods. The reason i wouldnt is because i think a child needs that security to fall back asleep...few minutes i dont see a problem, but im not comfortbale with long periods of crying....i might be wrong, so noone take offense but when i do that i feel i am abnadoning my daughter when she needs that comfort.