She is hanging on due to thinking he is living with his daughter, not his wife (me). That he hasn't lived with me for over a year. That he told me he only went there to watch tv, that we could put this behind us, that he is not in love with her. Then discovered they are still lovey-dovey over phone and internet. The disgrace is more than I can continue to bear. Feel like she is not hurting but at my expense. How can one you trust the most become the one you trust the least. She waiting for him, he telling me they are only friends. Would like to blow the truth out there and start to heal. Not sure how quickly to throw away 27 year marriage.
2007-01-15 01:28:30 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This should not be about telling her the truth...this should be about you. I know what youre saying about the 27 years of marriage, but you will always be wondering about his loyalty for the rest of your life. I was married for 20 years, it was wonderful, he played the role very well....I felt loved....I felt I was the only woman he would ever love....I think he believed that himself. We were happily married for 15 years. I thought we had the perfect marriage. I found out he had a dark side to his personality....its a long story, but he couldnt be faithful. I believe he still loves me...but the question is......are you prepared to live like this for the rest of your life. It is about you, not him. Can you really accept that he is lying and cheating?
I had to walk away from the man I adored simply because I valued myself....I had a little bit of pride left and I knew I could never be trully happy knowing that he had lied and cheated. I wanted revenge...I wanted everything you want, but the bottom line is reality. Look at the reality of the situation. Sure, you can tell this woman what is really going on, but what is it going to achieve? Is it going to bring back the trust?
Sometimes, we have to look at the harsh reality of day and realise we made a mistake, and while the love is real for you, it obviously doesnt mean the same to him.
Are you prepared to have him at any cost? Are you prepared to lose your pride in order to "prove a point"?
You will never be happy with a man like this. Sure, you can cause a lot or problems, or you can choose to redeem whatever pride you have left and let him go.
Time is a great healer. When I walked out of my marriage, I never thought I could love again. I thought I would always love my husband. I thought I would live this life alone and hurt for the rest of my life. I think we all think like that. I spent 5 years trying to find myself again, and then one day I said to myself, this has got to stop....I have to rejoin life again. I did, I started to think about me....I wanted to feel good about myself again....I lost some weight, I bought some new clothes....I started to socialize again.......I finally realised that the man I thought I loved, didnt love me enough and I needed to move on. I didnt feel all that confident, but for my own survival I had to pick myself up and force myself to be part of life again. With time it became easier...I started to get my self confidence back again...and at 50 I found the love of my life. It was something I never thought would happen. Nothing stays the same, unless you want it too. You have the power to change this whole situation, but you first have to believe in yourself, you have to stop making this man the centre of your universe. You have to start thinking about YOU. Its hard, its very hard, and sometimes seems impossible, but I am living proof that moving on, and moving on successfully is a reality.
I guess it all depends on what you are prepared to accept. If you are prepared to accept this situation, then you also have to be prepared to accept all the hurt and degregation that goes along with it. Its all your choice.....do you care enough about yourself to want a wonderful and fullfilling life, or do you just want crumbs? Totally your decison.
2007-01-15 02:01:28 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The party's over. Pack your things and go make a new life for yourself. You do not need a man who will twist the lives of two women.
There is a whole lot of life out there that does not require the constant support of a man.
Find a good lawyer and tell the mister good bye.
2007-01-15 01:33:57 · answer #2 · answered by Blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you still want him after what he has done to you then yes.Invite her to your house and sit her down and tell her the whole story and that if she continues to see your husband not only will you kick her *** but you will post it all over the internet with her name that she is nothing more than a homewrecker. Because if she knows and still sees him then that is what she is. Then you need to deal with the cheating husband of yours. But reallly do you believe that he will stop or just find another to cheat with.
2007-01-15 01:36:44 · answer #3 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about looking at this way that the 27 years of marriage was a big fat LIE. Wait your husband has a girlfriend??? What is your problem? HOW CAN YOU LET YOUR HUSBAND HAVE A GIRLFRIEND??? WHY DONT YOU DIVORCE HUSBAND SO THE GIRLFRIEND CAN HAVE HIM THOSE TWO DESERVE EACH OTHER.
2007-01-15 01:39:19 · answer #4 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im a guy (a bit younger than you) and honestly i would tell him. I for one would not mind and infact would take it as a compliment that your willing to lose your virginity for me. If he asks why you said you have had sex id just explain what you just said how you were afraid to have to exlpain yourself. But i for one would take it as a compliment and it would make the night feel more special. A lot of guys know that a girl cares more about there virginity than "most" guys and should take it as a compliment. If he kinda gets angy just say "hey im a virgin and im willing to let you take it from me" or something else like that.
2016-05-24 05:18:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him, and heck no don't tell her what type of person he is. She is liable to leave him alone and then he will bug the crap out of you, since he has no other woman to run to. Let her find out on her own what type of trash he is. Then try to find the song by George Strait (she let herself go) and let your imagination run wild. You deserve a good rest from this awful man that you devoted yourself to for 27 years. Good Luck
2007-01-15 01:38:26 · answer #6 · answered by kris10 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he threw it away the day he went an messed around on you... I would tell her so i could start to heal... i dont see why you would want to keep it bottled up inside its goin to eat at you until you cant' handle it anymore.. Blow it out of the water an hurt him b4 he get the chance to hurt you even more..
2007-01-15 01:33:14 · answer #7 · answered by pruittsgurl_01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rather than tell her, why haven't you divorced him? As for you throwing away a 27 year marriage, don't you think he's done that already?
2007-01-15 01:32:47 · answer #8 · answered by H.B.K. 2 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just call her, and very calmly tell her. In fact that the best thing to do would be to do it when your husband is home, so he can get on the phone too! You know, just to get everything out in the open.
2007-01-15 02:44:56 · answer #9 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him, divorce the cheater and take him for every penny he has earned and go out and enjoyed
2007-01-15 01:44:48 · answer #10 · answered by Dove4ever 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋