The wife and i are swingers and have been for a few years. She really wants to get into the BDSM world moreso than I. Although we have a very open sexual relationship I'm having alot of mixed emotions about her establishing a "relationship" with another man in this way. Anyone out there been in this situation and if so how did it work out?
2007-01-15 01:17:03 · 4 answers · asked by This too shall pass 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Go with her, and enjoy her enjoyment - and when she is the most horny from the ... "activity" ... take full advantage!
Then...
Have her permit you to indulge in YOUR fantasies while SHE watches...!
Oh... And swinging should have NOTHING to do with "emotions", other than there ought to be a connection at SOME level other than sexual for it to be best.
2007-01-16 19:15:41 · answer #1 · answered by Michael, Count de Berçon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Difficult one…
Swinging is a dangerous emotional game at the best of times, and unless you are VERY secure in yourself and your relationship, you are looking for emotional trauma (Been there, done that, did the counseling).
If your wife is into BDSM / D/s games and you are not, you may have to get into it.
BDSM is more than a sexual thing, it can become an emotional drive so strong it can blot out everything else. If she finds a Dom(me) online or at a swingers club that can cater to her needs as a kink, you will most probably be sidelined very quickly (Again, talking from years of experience).
Consider the option of YOU becoming her Dom (or sub) and thus you still have control of the situation, you can still swing safely without the risk of her getting into a very emotional D/s relationship with another, and thereby risk everything.
Good luck!
2007-01-15 14:27:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing to do is make sure it isn't the same man for too long a period of time. I am a woman in this kind of relationship, the one who has bdsm relations with other men, and my partner is fine with it as long as I have relations with a number of different men rather than just one, and it is always with the proviso that he watches and I always go home with him.
2007-01-15 09:38:43 · answer #3 · answered by assparted 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am the same way. We met a couple at a party that the male claimed to be a Dom, and this turned my wife on. It made me uncomfortable too. Her being dominated during sex is not an issue, but stuff like him calling her and trying telling her what to do and how to do it in daily life (as part of the Dom/Sub culture goes) didn't fly well with me... and it turned-out with her. When it came down to it, if it was what she wanted, she didn't want it with anyone but me because of the trust we have together.
By the way, he and his girlfriend broke-up because "he was too Dom" and we are still friends with her and her new boyfriend.
2007-01-15 10:56:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋