There was a certain girl I was dating very seriousely some years back. Well the relationship had a very painfl ending for me. Long story shot, she hurt me and we split. I moved on, met someone else, fell in Love and got married.
My ex girl then reappeared. She slowly started making moves back in to my life. I resisted as much as I could.
Last weekend, I was at a workshop in another town and she was there too. In the evening we got together for a drink and before I knew what was going on, we were in my room and things happened.
Now I feel really bad about it. Kept telling myself it was a mistake, only problem is I can't stop thinking about her.
I love my wife very much but this other woman has cast some kind of magical spell on me. What should I do? Please help me. And don't tell me I should just walk away coz it is not easy.
2007-01-15 01:16:06 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes it is. Walk away from her and pray that your wife never finds out. Think about all you will loose with your wife who has only loved you only to risk it with someone hurt you.
2007-01-15 01:29:58 · answer #1 · answered by A friend of Bill W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all hope you used protection, your wife doesn't deserve any std or a baby being born to another woman. You need to send a one way message to the woman you had affair with that you can no longer communicate with her in any way. It may be tough but it is the right thing to do, you are a man so stand up and take care of your wife. That woman may have been playing with you just to see if she could still have you if she wanted. You need to seriously look at what happened and why. Do you go away much, do you drink when you are away, not a good idea. This will be on your conscience for a long time as it should. If you really don't want it to happen again you need to use caution and never put yourslef in that situation and then begin to forgive yourself. Focus more on your wife and marriage. If you don't want to do that then your wife deserves to know what you have done. It sucks that you have done this but you have to make a decision and live with it. Will pray you and your wife are ok. Hope the woman you slept with finds her own single guy. One other thing, you need to take a hard look at what you consider real love and commitment and decide if you are capable of it or just thought you loved your wife. Lust and love aren't the same, the other woman can't mean that much to you can she...?
2007-01-15 01:33:39 · answer #2 · answered by Mawm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love your wife and don't think you are strong enough to walk away from ex then tell your wife what happened. She may leave you or she will stay and you will be unable to see the ex. Wife will make sure of that. Either way your headed for trouble so might just as well get it over with now so you can move on with one or the other of them.
2007-01-15 01:28:27 · answer #3 · answered by noddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Resisting as much as you could does not involve having drinks with her. The first thing is to be honest with yourself, if things got this far it's because you wanted them to. The fact that she hurt you and you cared a lot for her is probably got a lot to do with this attraction. We hate to be on the losing end of anything. rekindling your flame allows you to believe you weren't on the losing end of this relationship. Walking away standing up and finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with makes you a winner, but what your doing now is going to lose you more then you did in the past. Your ex has proved that she knows how to walk away and you could lose your wife over all of this. Which leaves you with nothing. So I know walking away ain't easy but neither are the consequences of the game your playing.
2007-01-15 01:42:28 · answer #4 · answered by thezenzebra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has not cast a spell on you. You made the decision to allow her back into your life and you have to suffer the consenquences. Keep in mind that if you start a relationship with this woman, you will not only lose your wife, you will also end up being dumped again by this woman. You need to stop all contact with her, even casual phone calls or email. And, it doesn't matter if it is hard. You breeched a contract that you made with your wife and when she finds out, you are either going to be divorced or spend years earning her trust again.
2007-01-15 01:23:19 · answer #5 · answered by Beth B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course it;s not easy to walk away but think back to the reason you split in the 1st place. Are you willing to throw your wife asside for this person who may very well do the same thing to you again? You can't go on cheating either. Think of how it would tear you up if you found your wife had cheated on you? However, if you truely want to be with this person, leave your wife 1st. She doesn't deserve to be hurt. But no matter what you do she is going to be hurt, ya can't avoid it unless you just walk away.If you want someone else let her go she can find someone who wants her back
2007-01-15 01:23:37 · answer #6 · answered by prettyboldblonde 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yeah, she cast some magical spell and you are not responsible for your actions....
Listen, I can understand and forgive a mistake, so your wife probably can, too, but you are talking like you just couldn't help yourself here and your ex is totally responsible for your mistake. That's BOGUS!
IF you decide to tell your wife, it needs to be in the context of : Honey, I love you, I screwed up BAD, and I hope you can be the bigger person here and forgive me.
Oh, and if you want to stay married, keep your ex out of your life - permanently. She's trouble - whether it is her seductive actions or your unresolved feelings...any contact with her = TROUBLE!
2007-01-15 01:29:19 · answer #7 · answered by not yet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really love your wife like you say you do than this should have NEVER happened!! You should have never put yourself in that situation and as for the ex-girlfriend shame on her for messing up a family and it sounds like she just wanted to see if she could get you back and you fell into her trap!! You need to tell your wife everything and HOPE she forgives you !! I know that i wouldn't because once you have broken that trust it is hard to get back and how would you feel if your wife had done this to YOU!!!!!!!!
2007-01-15 01:34:14 · answer #8 · answered by linda bug 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How important is your marriage? If she dumped you once, she can dump you again. I guess you don't love your wife as much as you say you do. It IS easy to walk away unless you like getting some on the side. You better hope your wife never finds out about your stupidity or you'll be paying for the rest of your life. I'd like to quote a famous sage in ref to your carlessness :STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES.
Oh, have you gotten checked for STD? How many other men do you think your ex- has been with?
2007-01-15 01:21:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whyy dotn u just make it easier. Take a piece of paper and write down the positive points and then teh negative points of being with your ex-girl.... and then write the positive and negatve points of being with your wife.. After thus much strike out the most "unnecessary" one. Then strike out the just "unnecessary one". So u have a list of necessary things in our life wirte now.. Count in teh list and check where exactly you have more. At ur ex or at ur wife. Strike out the inapplicable from teh paper and from teh heart.
Try this i'm not joking neither crazy.. this process helps
"Heavens gimme the power to change things which can be changed. Give me the understanding not to change things wat cannot be changed. And all above gimme the wisdom to differenciate both"- Anonym.
2007-01-15 01:25:22 · answer #10 · answered by Teri 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋