The young people today are not one bit ashammed to admit that they live with and have children with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Why What is wrong with getting married? Is it so common that it is more likely to have children and not be married but living with the other parent of your children?People use to get married then have children! Can it ever be that way again?
2007-01-15 01:01:45 · 14 answers · asked by Pamela V 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I myself won't marry as well. I hate the cutting of freedom, as well as being in the church and listening to that bast*rd blabbing about god and all that, although I'm clean on that one, I'm not a member of the church anymore.
2007-01-15 01:06:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Why should someone feel ashamed? It is very common today to live with the opposite sex and have children. We have come a long way from the olden days and have grown as well. There is nothing wrong with getting married before children or after they come along.
I think because the divorce rate is high, people decide to just live together as partners because it is so much easier to get out of than if you were married.
I know people who have lived together for 20 years or more and act as if they are married, they identify their partner as a wife or husband, they buy things together with both names on it, they have and raise children.
I think it is each person preference as to how they want to live and what their religious beliefs may be. I certainly am for marriage and total commitment. I think the word "commitment is kinda scary for many people and much of society has a real problem with being faithful.
No matter when marriage might come along I am certain people will continue to get married, maybe not as much as they did many years ago but many people still believe in the whole total commitment of marriage and very much desires it in their life.
2007-01-15 09:16:51 · answer #2 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the problem is twofold:
1] Divorce is so common that some people think marriage is temporary and therefore pointless
2] Men will always opt for the least amount of commitment possible to get what they want. As long as women accept living together and having children without marriage that's what will go on. My husband only agreed to marry me after I managed to convince him that I would not live with him without being married. We are happily married 16+ years now - but even he tried for the live together option first.
I think that there will be a backswing though. The children being born out of wedlock now will experience the negative aspects of this arrangement and want better than that for their own children. Unfortunately that means a whole generation of children are going to grow up with a very high degree of insecurity before things get better.
2007-01-15 09:13:22 · answer #3 · answered by Queen of Cards 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are still some people who actually do get married first. However, isn't it better to hear that two people are getting along and living together with their children then when you hear children only living with one parent and the other parent is no where to be found.
I run a happy and healthy household with 3 children. 1 is mine and 2 are my boyfriends. All 5 of us live very happily under one roof and do the whole family traditions thing, dinner everynight at the table where we talk and laugh about our day and special bedtime stories and lullabies. You don't always NEED to be married. It's not like I chose not to be married. . . .it's my dream but it's also my dream to have a happy loving family too. If I'm not married but my family is happy, then I don't see the problem.
2007-01-15 09:08:58 · answer #4 · answered by bundleofjoy2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am 23 years old married 6 years in August and we have 2 beautiful kids. The oldest is 2 and the baby turned 1 after christmas. It does still happen and as far as the rest some just don't care about a piece of paper or a ring because that's all marriage really is.
2007-01-15 10:58:05 · answer #5 · answered by dixiedarlin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aaah what a hot topic issue.
Young people today don't see what generations past did / do. They don't see the wedding as the bonding of the family or the committment to 'the family'.
I'm not saying who is right or wrong... but the older generations had more "No sex before marriage" idea and of course kids come from sex. Today you are the odd ball almost if you aren't having sex before marriage. I think the sexual morales are a lot looser today than they were in let's say the 50's.
I doubt it will ever be that way again.
2007-01-15 09:11:46 · answer #6 · answered by Angel A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the purpose of marriage has changed from one of being family and extended family orientated, business or money orientated to love orientated. People marry for love and usually no other reason. Love doesn't change with marriage and does not need marriage for commitment.
Personally, the only reason my lover and I are getting married is because we want our families to be happy. They still think with your sort of mentality like living together is supposed to be shameful or that being legally married is better some how, so we're playing by their rules. We're already commited to eachother and consider ourselves married in all pratical purposes (especially since we're from a country that recognises common law marriage), but the wedding ritual is an important part of our older relatives (and some younger ones too!) beliefs and hey, if it makes them happy, why not? We were never fully opposed to the idea.
Other couples like us don't get married because it's just not important to them or their family members to have that ritual. It is just a ritual and it is loosing it's meaning. It's not bad. It's just change.
2007-01-15 09:10:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am happily unmarried I did the marriage thing before I'm totally against marriage the man I'm with now and have been for 10 years is a wonderful father and provider he is also very loving to me of course but maybe someday I'll marry him who knows he's asked me alot but I can't do it I just can't
2007-01-15 10:47:05 · answer #8 · answered by fluttergirl2004 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand it either. I don't understand why people won't commit to relationships with marriage. It doesn't make sense that young people don't hold to the traditional values of marriage. Times have changed, but where are they going with this? What is it going to be like in 20 years?
2007-01-15 09:08:47 · answer #9 · answered by Wondrin Dude 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It can, but probably won't be. You can do whatever you want, however. You want to get married? Go ahead! Get married! I approve! I don't really think it's smart to live together first, but people will do what they want to do. I dislike it as much as the next person. However, what should we, as people, expect from beings such as humans? *shrug*
2007-01-15 09:07:06 · answer #10 · answered by jdd's_kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why does it matter? your relationship and your love for each other and for your children should be the same whether you're married or not.
i really don't see why it's important anymore. marriage is a very, very old tradition, which hasn't really kept up with the times
2007-01-15 09:12:44 · answer #11 · answered by lise l 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋