She's more developed then most girls her age and, for her best, I make her wear bras with much support and 4 hooks in the back, like the one at http://www.anita.com/de/en/0,1,104,1478,39236__products-detail.htm She doesn't like, asked me to wear other bras and I asked some days to think about. But I talked to a dr, expert in breasts, and she told me I should be firm about those bras. So, I decided she'll keep wearing them. I see her point but as a mom I want her best, out of love. I know she thinks I'd let her wear other bras, and, though she's a wonderful girl and our relationship is great, she'll be mad at me, maybe a bit resentful, though I'm sure she'll obey. How do I tell her my decision without hurting her? I want to do this w/ much love, and, to make things easier, I think tonight, as soon as she goes to bed, I'll sit there with her and tell her my decision in avery motherly and loving way.
2007-01-15 00:35:48 · 24 answers · asked by Melissa 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I saw this question and I couldn't resist: I have to share a story about my cousin Luisa.
The women in my family have fairly large breasts, and develop at a young age. Luisa is the oldest out of all of the "kids" (shes 27 now). When she was 12, she had C cups and was very anti-bra. She was going to be in a dance recital and they were supposed to wear skintight leotards. Luisa's mom, my aunt Raquel told Luisa that she was going to wear a bra on that stage, or she wouldn't be allowed to dance. Luisa said, "fine then, I won't dance. But I won't wear a bra either!" Aunt Raquel was fed up, so she did that thing wear she took off her bra under her shirt and pulled it through her sleeve. She shook it around in the air, turned on some Latina music, and started to dance. While she was dancing she yelled, "Do you want to look like your poor, awful, bust sagging mother in front of an audience???"
Luisa wore the bra, and I don't think there has ever been any argueing since.
Good luck with your daughter. And by the way, let her have a little bit of freedom. Tell her that she has to wear a bra, but that she can pick which ones. Take her shopping and let her choose which ones she wants. There are some very cute patterns and fabrics nowadays. Help her with the sizes, but let her make the ultimate descision. Stick to your guns; she should be wearing a bra.
2007-01-15 07:17:26 · answer #1 · answered by sarasugar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe let her choose one different bra.... I had/have bigger breasts as well and at 13 it doesn't make you feel attractive, it makes you feel like a freak, ya know?
I completely understand you wanting her to have the supportive bra and I applaud the research you've done. So many moms just don't seem to care anymore....
Honestly I would let her choose one bra that's cute or attractive, tell her she can wear it after school or on weekends or something. The main goal is to get her wearig the other bras MOSTLY....
In the meantime maybe you can find another bra that is supportive and attractive... Also, let her know the features you require her bra to have, I'm sure she will be ecstatic to look through the internet and find something to please you both....
I also think it's good because she will learn how to find quality undergarments... I'm sure the two of you will find some common ground will all the choices out there!
GOOD LUCK!
2007-01-15 00:49:04 · answer #2 · answered by okeydokeyjal22 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem as your daughter. I would reccomend NOT pushing her, even if the one you picked is better for her. In a short time she will appreacite the ones you are picking and see that they are working better and are more supportive. For the time being take her to sports authority and get her a sports bra... they are less "embarrasing", very comfortable, and offer lots of support. I guarantee she will appreciate having some physical support while not being faced with the granny bra.
I can only remember when I was 11 and started growing and I was so embarrased and didnt want to wear any bra, but I also did not want to be have my chest sag and be noticeable... the sports bra was my lifesaver!
2007-01-15 02:29:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your daughter with you and let her choose her own bras out. Bras are a personal item and she may just not like the ones you have picked for her, so let her pick her own. Bras with 4 hooks are really uncomfortable and kinda look old ladyish for a 13 year old.
2007-01-15 02:43:33 · answer #4 · answered by Urchin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her mom needs to take her procuring for bras that greater healthful and are comfortable, so she would be able to be greater liable to placed on them. It takes a speedy time to get used to donning a bra. She relatively should not be punished for some thing like that. that could merely be stupid and meanspirited to punish her. She needs help in adjusting to a sparkling element in her existence. that's a complicated term for women. She needs reassurance, not punishment. Get her a number of those snug on the spot Cacique bras from Lane Bryant. Or some activities bras. they are snug too. and verify she is familiar with that that's for her earnings. enable her be responsive to that not donning a bra would reason issues for her later on. If she is familiar with how her physique works and that breasts require help, she may be greater liable to placed on the bra on a regular basis. yet do not punish! that's ridiculous.
2016-10-20 05:40:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well at 13 she doesn't want to wear a grandma looking bra like that one. I think you should back off and let her decide what bra she wants to wear. She's becoming her own woman, you don't need to dictate every last thing down to what style bra she wears.
2007-01-15 00:41:18 · answer #6 · answered by Lala 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe if you get her a bra that is not a grandma bra she might want to wear it. the only bras i will wear come from victorias secret maybe try bringing her there or get her some cute sport bras if she still doesnt want to wear them have her wear camis under her shirt they give the same protection as bras and she wont even know shes wearing one
2007-01-15 05:33:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is only 13 so she doesnt have to be wearing super surportive bras, her breast tissue is not going to strech or drop until shes an adult, if shes not any bigger than a C cup she is fine to wear sports bras or any bra she find comfterbal, she doesnt have to be wearing hardchore restraining ones at the age of 13... that bra is also quite embaressing looking for a 13 year old girl, grandmothers wear those... i had C cup size breast when i was 13-14 and i wore just the normal everyday comfterbal bra like you would by at target and stuff and my boobs didnt sag at all, there are ones designed specificly for teens and such.
example http://cgi.ebay.com.au/NEW-Elle-MacPherson-Intimates-Bra-Size-10B-RRP-49-95_W0QQitemZ180073491577QQihZ008QQcategoryZ55550QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem#ebayphotohosting
2007-01-15 00:41:16 · answer #8 · answered by lil_meex 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing better than compromise! well most of the time.
take her shopping for one, find a middle ground. Tell her why but show her your willing to find something you will both agree on. I'm sure she doesnt want to wear something that looks like something grandma will wear. She wont be wearing that all her life. find something u both are comfortable with
2007-01-15 09:45:48 · answer #9 · answered by ussoldier 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her she has to wear them because she lives in your house. Tell her she can pick her own bras out at 16. But she has to wear these until then.
2007-01-15 07:17:21 · answer #10 · answered by robedzombiesoul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋