I'm married and one of my ex's recently got married. We haven't emailed each other in a long time (a few years) but his mom emails me regularly, about once a month. I have been tempted just to send him a hello/how are you email and congratulate him on his wedding day - is this OK to do or totally rude and wrong and I should just step back? I don't want to do anything offensive. He and I had a good relationship for 2 years - he wanted marriage but at that time I was 24 and not ready. We were determined to maintain contact after our breakup but of course that didn't happen for too long. I recently saw their wedding pictures and he looked miserable in them. I was surprised because his mom had said how happy they both were. Anyway, what is the best thing to do here?
2007-01-15 00:21:47 · 29 answers · asked by Rachel 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ask yourself honestly, why do you want to even say "hello" after "a long time (a few years)"? If you are happily married, why risk the smallest chance of having anyone, especially your husband, getting the wrong idea? You might think a simple "hello" will not hurt anyone, but you might just be wrong...
Think twice!
2007-01-15 00:34:15 · answer #1 · answered by Cheeriet 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Don't mistake the "miserable" look for Nervous, you know that could be it. I think that i wouldn't want him to think about me when he just got married, I think that I would Tell his mother in a email when she thinks or if she thinks there is a right time, tell him that you said hi and congradulations on his marriage. I think She and he will respect this more. I know how you feel I have felt that same way. There will be a time. Maybe just not so soon, since you haven't emailed him in a long time.
2007-01-15 01:13:32 · answer #2 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, for starters, you are married. You would have to take into consideration of what your husband would think. And secondly, consider what your ex's wife would think. Don't stir the past. Leave it where it needs to be. Start focusing on what you can do to have a healthier marriage with your husband. I only say that because if you are "tempted" to do something like this then you are not in the right mindset. Get back on track and put your family first.
2007-01-15 00:29:31 · answer #3 · answered by teashy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont think it would be rude, Its really just friend to friend. You guys had something a long time ago but you are both married now and I think it would fine. How he chooses to answer is up to him. He could pour all his feelings abouteverything out, or he could just respond back with a simple 'hello' and 'fine'. Then if you want to remain friends take it from there, nothing serious though. Just a hi how are you doing kinda of thing. Good Luck.
2007-01-15 00:29:26 · answer #4 · answered by thikingdomcome 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
u don't know that he is miserable, his mom says they are happy. u didn't want him until u knew he had married another, best not to contact them, leave them alone. he has moved on and so should u. what do u hope to happen if u do make contact? just the fact that contact was not maintained means he moved on. best to leave the past right where it is, and forget him.
2007-01-15 02:20:41 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of emailing him, buy him a card congratulating him on his marriage. Write in a comment saying you would like to hear from him, and then both you and your husband sign it. Both signatures will tell him you don't have ulterior motives, but he will know you sincerely want to know how he's doing. If you don't like the thought of asking your husband to sign a card to your ex, you may want to examine your feelings.
2007-01-15 00:30:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with everyone else here! There is no reason why you can't stay on friendly terms! My Mother became good friends with her ex-husbands wife. Mom was married twice once to my Dad and once again to my step Dad. She called her ex (not my Dad) when she found out he'd gotten married again and the three of them became good friends.So if you are mature enough email him.
2007-01-15 00:42:37 · answer #7 · answered by Pamela V 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think u should just liveur life. Let him live his. Coz one mail may be the signal for a relationship again. U never know. Ok bye.
2007-01-15 00:29:00 · answer #8 · answered by || SMI || 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think u still have feelings for this guy d question u need to ask is how ur husband will feel if he knows abt u sending an email to ur ex dis might start a new thing and u know dat my advise for u is if u happy in ur own marriage u should back off and let him deal with his own problems but if u going thru problems in ur marriage and u want out then u can ask him if he wants out too maybe u can help eachother out
2007-01-15 00:28:40 · answer #9 · answered by affh1st 2 · 1⤊ 3⤋
NO!!! Have you forgotten you have a husband? Bet he wouldn't be too thrilled with your big idea... Concentrate on making your marriage a good one and leave the Ex alone.
2007-01-15 00:30:46 · answer #10 · answered by kitkat 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋